Please Help- problem with morning shows!

[CFIcare]

Nope,
They just like privacy whilst reading Oprah mag. Yeah right, I had a girlfriend who could fart in color! The smell was so bad, when I tried to slam my nostrils shut and not breathe, my eyes would reflexively slam shut and squint so hard I would see colors. Depending on the sulphur content,different colors would appear!
PBR

So thaaaaat's why there's a stack of Oprah mags in the crapper at my mom's house. Oprah, stinky candles, 10 kinds of lotion, I guess it's like going on a retreat. My question is: why does the cat always paw at the door and insist on being let in while she's in there?

It's some kinda poo voodoo, I tell ya!

 

[Spinn555]

As far as locations to poo, your priorities are to be in this order...Hotel, airport, plane.

If you missed the first option, the airport is ok, provided you stick to the "FAMILY" or "COMPANION" bathrooms. Usually very clean, large, and private. It is your own luxury suite!

 

[dispatchguy]

But, there is NOTHING like home field advantage!

 

[PBRstreetgang]

As far as locations to poo, your priorities are to be in this order...Hotel, airport, plane.

If you missed the first option, the airport is ok, provided you stick to the "FAMILY" or "COMPANION" bathrooms. Usually very clean, large, and private. It is your own luxury suite!

You forgot to list CP V-mail slot as airport(1B)
PBR

 

[acaTerry]

What I really hate is when you had spicy food the night before, and that little piece of hot peeper, maybe a seed, who knows, it gets stuck in the tiny little cornhole wrinkles just at the exit hole. Burns like a mofo. I call it "peppercorn" krap.

 

[taiar]

Just have a few Hampton Inn Breakfast Sausage Patties (BSP). That will skip the brewing stages of the poo development…. Will skip immediately to the Chiitng part… . However some planning is required. Because if you do this right before you jump in the hotel van… that ride to the airport may seem a bit further than you remember.....

Use this guide...

1 Patty … Minimal effect
2 patties ….20 minutes
3 patties….. 12-15 minutes
4 patties ….5-10 minutes

Results may vary depending on how much egg, milk and fruit was consumed from the breakfast bar.

Warning:- all times are Approximate. Times and results may vary from one person to another.

Happy pooping.

On a side note. There use to be a place next to MDW that was only open during darkness… this place was nameless….& probably licensless as well, Had the best burritos you ever had in your life… granted I am comparing it to 4 years of vending machine food in the middle of the night from the FBO. Anyways the only draw back to this great burrito is that by the time you got back to the FBO (2 blocks away) you where ready to Explode that crap out of you… its amazing that human body can process that stuff that quick… with exception to the corn…. Off course… .

 

[Ezralite]

After reading all this I think I have to go take a Mesa and then wipe my Ornstein.

 

[M-crit]

As far as locations to poo, your priorities are to be in this order...Hotel, airport, plane.

If you missed the first option, the airport is ok, provided you stick to the "FAMILY" or "COMPANION" bathrooms. Usually very clean, large, and private. It is your own luxury suite!

Ahhh, the proverbial "family" bathroom. No doubt a good suggestion for anyone in need of laying down a deuce. These things will give you peace and solitude like no other public restroom while you blow out an o-ring. I always look for the family bathroom first and then when someone tries to open the locked handle I laugh to myself at their misfortune because they must be experiencing that well known feeling of desperate despair....so close but yet so far away.

 

[fastback]

That allegation is completely unsubstantiated!

One thing is for sure, we couldn't hold a candle to this conversation.

Maybe a match.

 

[dispatchguy]

After reading all this I think I have to go take a Mesa and then wipe my Ornstein.

My new signature line!