Please Help- problem with morning shows!

[PBRstreetgang]

Well,
I was coming back to SFO after doing a Canada turn in the 700. I was eating those nasty UAL emergency snack mixes. Seems my system will not allow more than 2-3 bags in my gut at a time, we were in the inital descent into SFO and the tater gave me a courtesy rumble, and I realized that now way would I make the airport. Called the F/A and went aft to the stainless mug of poo catcher. Made it in and the race to get seated was almost lost, the MSG powered snack mix wrecked the mug, with moderate backsplash on the bottom of the seat(and my can/tater), the smell was similar to burning tires and rotting road kill, I felt bad! After cleaning as much as I could, and sterilizing my tater(handi wipes rule), I left the scene ot the crime. The walk back up was brisk, since we were decending. The smell stopped after I got 4-5 rows forward. I didn't even look at the pax on the way forward, it's my airplane, and if I wanna wreck the chitter, I can! Never, repeat never, eat the UAL emergency snacks!
PBR

 

[V1cutsrfun]

By the time you reach retirement...(65) $hitting at predictable regularity will be a Godsend.....
just be glad your not crapping in a sack in trembling hills retirement home

 

[mtsupilot376]

I haven't laughed this hard in weeks. So who's the ASA crew that was talking about fecal contamination on ops last week when the storms hit? Deets...

I totally remember hearing that over ops that day.

 

[dispatchguy]

I now work at an OCC for a major carrier in the south. One night a couple of weeks back, I stopped by Wendy's on my way in for their Baconator - should be called their Turdinator..

I inhale said Turdinator, and my Frosty while signing into my workstation, and all of a sudden, I get one of those warning farts out of nowhere.

Now, in said OCC, the little dispatchers room is clear on the other side of the OCC from where I work.

A few more warning shots - thank God farts arent visible. I get up, and with the lessened external tater pressure due to standing up, it feels like instant prairie dog. I clench with all my might, and try to make it nonchalantly over to the little dispatchers room. Head thru the breakroom crop dusting on the way and finally make it to the room where my innards let out this horrendous sound that echoed off the tile walls - I would swear that had this been a quiet midnight shift - they couldve heard me in maintenance control!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b7l6jg4Hlog