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PBRstreetgang said:
You will be a full fledged regional pilot when you can not chit all day and only feel slight discomfort, kinda like the jumpseat on an RJ. Its the chit camel syndrome. When you get to the hotel room, its like a pavlovian thing, I can't walk through though the room door without almost krapping my drawers. You will be there someday grasshopper.
PBR
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I just sharted I was laughing so hard!
 
Lately, I've had a streak of 'The Giggling Sh!ts'. Not when I'm at home or in private, just when I'm at work using the bathroom down in ops (C spine). Lots of pre-movement action, lots of giggles, a little spray on the back stop and KABOOOM!

You know that little count you do, like you're counting cards, someone just walked in, we're at +2, someone just walked out, down to +1. You gotta be able to count so that you're down to 0 after all the fun.
 
This is the funniest damn thread i have ever seen, Hats off. I have your reciept for disaster its very simple, Any cheap piss in a can and micro MAC & Cheese. You will blow that balloon knot before you know it. Trust me the brown eye won't know what hit it.
 
I am diabetic (hence a DX), and therefore I pop some pretty gnarly meds for the diabetes. Every now and then, I get tired of pill popping, so I lay off for a few days.

Once I restart those meds, I can literally set a timer, and within 2 hours after, my innards are turning into an Ebola-like liquified stew that one time, I was doubled over in so much pain that the only way to get to the crapper was a low crawl like in boot camp, never mind the fact that I was clenching the outflow valve with every mental and physical cell in my body, or I would be leaving a blackish brown trail the likes should never been seen by humanity.

I can still feel the pain, years later.

Oh, that night was at my crashpad; thankfully no one else was in that night...
 
dispatchguy said:
I am diabetic (hence a DX), and therefore I pop some pretty gnarly meds for the diabetes. Every now and then, I get tired of pill popping, so I lay off for a few days.

Once I restart those meds, I can literally set a timer, and within 2 hours after, my innards are turning into an Ebola-like liquified stew that one time, I was doubled over in so much pain that the only way to get to the crapper was a low crawl like in boot camp, never mind the fact that I was clenching the outflow valve with every mental and physical cell in my body, or I would be leaving a blackish brown trail the likes should never been seen by humanity.

I can still feel the pain, years later.

Oh, that night was at my crashpad; thankfully no one else was in that night...
Click to expand...

Your outflow valve's position may be linked to your squat switch if you are doing a cannonball run.

Nothing like the sound of 30 feet of intestine uncoiling into a straight pipe to make you want to dump the cabin.

C'mon people. Don't let this thread poop out!
 
if you are on an SFO overnite go down to castro and market in some tight jeans and cowboy boots. make googly eyes at any guy on the street and take him back to your room and let him take you up the a$$. this will open things up so everything will just slide out nice and easy in the morning!
 
skypine69 said:
if you are on an SFO overnite go down to castro and market in some tight jeans and cowboy boots. make googly eyes at any guy on the street and take him back to your room and let him take you up the a$$. this will open things up so everything will just slide out nice and easy in the morning!
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Always good to have someone who has tried something report back. I will stay with jalapenos, coffee and cheap airport chinese food though.
PBR
P.S. YEAH 10 pages of pure Mesa core subject matter!
 
skypine69 said:
if you are on an SFO overnite go down to castro and market in some tight jeans and cowboy boots. make googly eyes at any guy on the street and take him back to your room and let him take you up the a$$. this will open things up so everything will just slide out nice and easy in the morning!
Click to expand...

No thanks, I want my buh-hymen to stay intact!

:)
 
skypine69 said:
if you are on an SFO overnite go down to castro and market in some tight jeans and cowboy boots. make googly eyes at any guy on the street and take him back to your room and let him take you up the a$$. this will open things up so everything will just slide out nice and easy in the morning!
Click to expand...

Way to test pilot that maneuver for us. We'll take your word for it. Glad everything went so smoothly. Thanks for taking one for the team!
 
Well,
I violated my own rule. I had a nasty breakfast burrito for starters(w/habenero), and made the mistake of having airport chinese for lunch. Chased all with a regular coke(free top offs). The rumble started as the last piece of The Generals chicken hit bottom. I quickly made my way to the "Family Bathroom" at DIA, barely made it through the door, peanutbutter pudding eruption, with habenero reheat on the tailfeathers. I think the mug took the brunt of the jetblast(minor etching on the porcelain). The seat deflected most back into the water(I think I even got some on the wall), but I received a healthy backsplash, on to the tater, which actually worked to cool the overheated tater.
Bottom line, the "family bathroom" was wrecked until the janitors could call the hazmat team in. Lesson relearned!
PBR
 
PBRstreetgang said:
Well,
I violated my own rule. I had a nasty breakfast burrito for starters(w/habenero)
Click to expand...

That's what I had for breakfast, too.


... two hours later, it sounded like somebody was dumping a gallon-size Ziploc bag of vegetable-beef soup into the toilet... :laugh:

:eek:
 
I haven't laughed this hard in weeks. So who's the ASA crew that was talking about fecal contamination on ops last week when the storms hit? Deets...
 
PBRstreetgang said:
Well,
I violated my own rule. I had a nasty breakfast burrito for starters(w/habenero), and made the mistake of having airport chinese for lunch. Chased all with a regular coke(free top offs).

There ya go. Recipe for anal annihilation. Beans, nuclear peppers, and MSG, with bubbly carbonated pump primer. What did you expect? I'm tellin' ya.....Jell-o pudding pops for soothing yer can-annular. Bill Cosby even said so.
Click to expand...
 
Too often passengers have this idea that pilots are god like beings with total control over the universe. No, it is not my fault a hurricane slammed into Florida. I do not control the budget for spare parts. My magical powers prevented me from picking up the tug with my mind before it hit the airplane and no I can't stay awake for 24 hours and not feel the effects of fatigue.

Why do we fight this problem? Because passengers never see the human side of pilots.

I say it's time to change that.

Every pilot has a responsibility to leave the cockpit in flight and with a newspaper under one arm, a cup of coffee in the other hold your head up and march with pride to the lav and poop in such a magnificent manner that the ladies are gagging and men are tearing up.

I can crap with the best of em and I'm proud of it.
 

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