I have never...

[FD109]

Re: Re: I have never...

I've never been late to the airport because the flight attendant slept through her wakeup call. Twice.

Hey Typhoon,

On this one, I'd be very certain that you explain it so that your wife has no reason to believe that you had anything to do with the FA oversleeping.


And while we are talking about flight attendants:

I have never asked a flight attendant when her baby was due only to be told, "I'm not pregnant!" If that had happened, service to the cockpit would have probably gotten somewhat sparse after that.

 

[C/L Max]

Oh, I almost forgot. I have never...

...over torqued an engine on a go around.

...gotten to my destination, only to find the departure station's copy of the release sitting on the glare shield.

...departed the gate late because I misread the release's valid time.

...inadvertantly set the Saab's CTOT too high, set the power levers too low, and broken everyones' necks from the acceleration when the FO flips the switch (like a surprise catapult shot, if you will).

Whew! It's a good thing I've never done any of those things. Ever.

Honest engine.

 

[cessna_driver2]

Gotta add a few..



...practiced unusual attitude recoveries while doing paperwork in a non-autopilot aircraft in IMC.

eek:

I guess you have to stay on top of those unusual attitudes

 

[Typhoon1244]

Re: Re: Re: I have never...

Hey Typhoon...I'd be very certain that you explain it so that your wife has no reason to believe that you had anything to do with the FA oversleeping.

Good point. I can assure you I had nothing to do with it. This particular F/A, although a nice gal and very good at her job, is old enough to be my mother. And as one of my first officers once said, "I ain't goin' down like that..."

Me, personally, I've never slept through a wakeup call during a layover. In Houston.

 

[ArmyPilot]

- Told ground "I have information S" and then 5 minutes later ground make the statement "Information S is now current"... woops... busted on that one... thank god it wasn't me.

- I never have applied pressure to the yoke with the autopilot on causing it to go way out of trim and then let go .... the ubrupt correction waking the Captain up.

- and I have never done about 90% of the posts on this thread... really I havn't

 

[chperplt]

I have never waited for my FO to trim the airplane out then stuck my feet behind the control column and sent the airplane into a slight decent... only to let him retrim and then let go.. And I never did it for 4 days straight.

 

[Captain X]

Okay, for all you current and ex-Brasilia drivers:

I have never...

...shut the airplane down with the back-up battery still on.

......nor made it to the hotel before I realized it.

I've never tried to use the same flight number all day long.

I've never gone on a tirade about verifying the AutoFx switch position with a new-hire IOE while taxiing out, only to have to reject due to "Ding-ding-ding! Autofeather!"

I've never flattened both right mains showing a new-hire how quickly you can stop the E-120 (on a 7000' runway).

I've never "accidently" selected CON thrust instead of CLB to make a commute home.

I've never flown from LAX to ELP in a Lear 25 w/o turning the pilot O2 on.

I've never had a cute FA "pass out" in my room an overnight, in YYZ, with free porn and beer. It didn't happen in BUF either.

I've never told the FO I needed to take my headset off for a minute, at night w/my hotmike off, then sneak the boom mike down by mister browneye, go hot on the mike and let one fly.

I never remarked how my boom mic smelled like ass after that either.

I've never said to an FO: "Dude, check out this hot chick getting on board." only to find out she was a 13 year old Unaccompanied Minor.

I've never told the FA to "Get this chick thats getting on's number for me." only to find out it was the FAs underage daughter coming on the overnight with us.

 

[Typhoon1244]

I've never said to an FO: "Dude, check out this hot chick getting on board." only to find out she was a 13 year old...

Bonus points if her father catches you looking. (Never happened to me...in DFW.)

 

[VNugget]

I have never, ever tried to casually sneak into a conversation with a girl how I'm (gonna be) a pilot.

 

[dmspilot00]

I have never dug up a thread that was a year old .

 

[wingnutt]

I have never dug up a thread that was a year old...

...allowing the whole world to get a good, healthy glimpse of my newbie-ness

 

[skychaser]

I've never cancelled IFR on top in hopes to find a hole at destination, only to find no hole!

I've never turned the transponder to ON to avoid atc realizing
my low altitude.

I've never flown under the GW, Tapanzee or Veranzano...but know those who have.

I've never gone past a hold short line.

I've never been stuck in the water soaked grass on the edge of a taxiway while making a 180.

I've never been closer than 500/1000/2000 from clouds while VFR.

I've never told a student to do anything that I didn't know everything about.

I've never forgotten my certificate while flying.

I've never keyed up the wrong frequency.

I've never even considered reporting my position to tower as anything other than where I actually am, to get a straight in.

I never forget the cowl flaps.

 

[ibaflyer]

Ok.. I have a few.

I have never walked into the flaps on a 172 and left diamonds embeded on my forehead.

........hung the dip stick on the prop of a 172 to remind me to add oil and get into the plane and start the engine thus throwing the dip stick accross the ramp.

.....told the person sitting next to me to look out the right side of the plane then unhook his seat belt and dive the plane.

.....tossed cremated remains out of a plane had had them come back into the cabin.

.....have a pax onboard and yell out "OH MY GOD!" for no reason at all.

...... buzzed the entire runway and announced to area traffic that Lance xxxx is going around

 

[floatflyer99]

Never...

Buzzed a runway on straight floats...

Lined up for a closed runway...

Landed in the wrong lake by mistake and barely had room to get out again...

Flown through a fog bank...

Been flying through a river valley, poked through a friendly little wisp of fog only to discover a power line filling the top of the windshield...

Landed in some guy's back yard 'cause I had to take a leak...

Dispersed 50 gallons of fuel over untracked wilderness due to a lack of tightness in the fuel cap retention system...

Landed on a lake after dark...

Fallen asleep at the controls with no autopilot/copilot...

Flown a circling approach just to wake someone up on the ground...

Turned final over the fence at 200' when asked to keep it in close...

and I've never been accused of being a "kamakaze pilot".

 

[cessna_driver2]

I've never ordered some airport Burger King on tower frequency late at night when attempting to obtain food on company frequency. Dont know who would do such a thing.

I have gotten bar-b-que for the tower guy a few years ago. Nothing will get you a quicker approach than bringing food for the tower people.

Ok so it was night and a class D airport with nobody around.

 

[cessna_driver2]

I've never ordered some airport Burger King on tower frequency late at night when attempting to obtain food on company frequency. Dont know who would do such a thing.

I have gotten bar-b-que for the tower guy a few years ago. Nothing will get you a quicker approach than bringing food for the tower people.

Ok so it was night and a class D airport with nobody around.

 

[I.P. Freley]

From the GA files...

I have never turned off the alternator in a single-engine Piper (switch looks just like the light switch, if I remember), lost all the radios half an hour later, and done a lost-comm approach into an uncontrolled field with everyone wondering why in the heck I didn't self-announce when entering the airport area and landing.

Never did it. I swear.

 

[localizer11]

I never said this:

"Folks, welcome aboard flight XXXX service to.... uhh....

-turn to F/O and ask " where the he!! are we going ?"

All the time with a hot mike on the PA.

Like I said though, it never happened to me.

 

[cessna_driver2]

As for piper. Never turned the nav lights on and leave them on until I land and then realized I don't have gear down lights.

 

[I.P. Freley]

OMG! I just remembered something I never did... But someone else did.

Imagine, if you will, a new student pilot who has learned from his Cessna manual that if you put your mouth on the stall warning opening and suck on it, you will hear the horn (insert joke here...). Anyway, I believe the manual also tells you to put a hankerchief over the opening, but never mind.

Now imagine, if you will, the student is REALLY confused and thinks the pitot tube is the stall warning opening.

Now imagine, if you will, that he's already turned on the master switch and the pitot heat is on. Has been on for a couple of minutes, even.

Now imagine, if you will, the problems that would ensue.

Or don't, it's almost too horrible to contemplate.