I have never...

[Stifler's Mom]

I've never had a TCAS warning in the middle of a PA. I wonder if the "traffic, traffic" call out can be heard in the cabin? And if so, what do they think when I suddenly cut off my PA while we look for that traffic?

 

[anjinoo7]

I have never:

Stolen a plane from the Embry Riddle flight line (Prescott) and parked it on a dirt road under the practice area and had someone pick me up ( but I heard it happened).

Performed aerobatics over downtown LA and then been forced down by L.A. county sheriffs helecopter for doing so but I know someone who has.

Dropped toilet paper rolls out of an airplane trying to hit your buddy who is in his car while driving down I-40.

 

[minitour]

I have never had this exchange with tower:

"Tower, Cessna 123 request a left 360, I'm a little high here"

"Cessna 123, approved, cleared to land following the 360"

"Cleared to land, Cessna 123"

*a few seconds pass as I didn't start the 360 and realize I was gonna be okay*

"Tower, Cessna 123...nevermind the 360, I'm a dumbass..."

 

[PropsForward]

I have never gone flying with the family to watch the fireworks from the air, then while flying back to the airport have my son point out the pretty red and green fireworks on the airfield (in the vicinity of the tower). Land, and get a greeting by the airport authority to call the tower that was still open....

 

[TIGV]

I have never coerced legal viz from the tower only to end up flying the needles till touchdown.

I have never disconnected the yaw-damper servo to get the autopilot to function.

I have never pulled the cowl and beaten hell out the FCU to free the FCV so the **CENSORED****CENSORED****CENSORED****CENSORED** thing wouldn't hang on the next start.

I have never done one do-nut a second, spraying snow everywhere, on an icy ramp in a T-prop just for the manic fun of it.

I have never, NEVER, had naked people in my airoplane.

I have never blasted arse-gas over the company freq, ( This requires never almost having to insert the handheld mic )

I have never responded to ATC with a Sean Connery voice.

I have never been rudely interrupted while reading a book at FL230 by my spitcan and it's contents flying loose around the cockpit due to an inadvertant encounter with the tops of a level 4. ( Nope don't chew anymore lol )

I have never forgotten what max the holding speeds are.

I never say rude things to anyone who might be listening on 123.40 LOL

 

[FracCapt]

I have never, NEVER, had naked people in my airoplane.

So....I'm guessing you were NEVER a jump pilot, either?

 

[DJS]

Glad that someone bumped this thread. I missed it the first time it came through.

I personally have never...

- attempted to call up up what I thought was BFI tower (class D) wanting to do some night landing practices in a 172.

- And since I never did that, they didn't respond with a curt "Cessna 12345 unable".

- At which point, I never started doing 360s over the Kent valley waiting for another opening on the radio, all the while thinking, "man, they are sure busy over there at Boeing tonight".

- After things calmed down a little, I certainly never called back again asking if my little Cessna could come in and do some stop and goes, getting another, angrier, "Unable!"

- Since I'm a highly intelligent person, I absolutely never would have called back with, "Boeing tower, do you have any ETA when I could in and do some stop and goes?"

- And, of course, they didn't call back with "Cessna 12345, this is SEATTLE TOWER and I said, UNABLE!"

- After that, there was never any chorus of annonymous pilots on the radio saying things like, "moron", "get a clue", "doh!" etc.

And if any of that had actually happened, I would have been exceedingly relieved that Cessna 12345 was a rental!

 

[BD King]

Okay, Okay. I am glad that I have never flown under a bridge in an open cockpit airplane (UPF-7). I am glad that I have NEVER rolled an airplane on take-off. (Assuming that I would have done so, I would assume that it is greater than sex)
{not quite}..............come to think of it? Maybe it is......And thank GOD, I have never busted an altitude, or any regulation............LONG LIVE BOB HOOVER!!!!!!!!

 

[tcoll777]

I have never rolled a piper seminole........nor have I ever went IMC just after calling field in sight, and still landed! I have never ever, set an ADF to a freq, turned up the volume, and dozed off........(when you get close it starts screaming, wakes you up)..........but someday i would like to try these things

 

[secks]

I never stayed up until 5AM EST reading "I NEVER" posts.

Here are a few from the rails:

I never took my (short) train over a derail while servicing an industry.

I never picked up some hopper cars which had just been rerailed, derail them over a misaligned switch, and blame the carmen for not rerailing them properly. I never got away with it either.

I never throw used "lavatory bags" out of the locomotive while doing track speed.

I never get a kick out of blasting through a sleepy town at 3AM, whistle screaming.

I never briefly block a crossing in order to get a quick cup of coffee.

I never have forgotten to call a signal.

 

[NuGuy]

I never stayed up until 5AM EST reading "I NEVER" posts.

Here are a few from the rails:

I never took my (short) train over a derail while servicing an industry.

I never picked up some hopper cars which had just been rerailed, derail them over a misaligned switch, and blame the carmen for not rerailing them properly. I never got away with it either.

I never throw used "lavatory bags" out of the locomotive while doing track speed.

I never get a kick out of blasting through a sleepy town at 3AM, whistle screaming.

I never briefly block a crossing in order to get a quick cup of coffee.

I never have forgotten to call a signal.

Hehe, got the address for www.traininfo.com?

Nu

 

[mocaman]

I never went flying with a friend who was a 15 hour student pilot before I started training.

I never witnessed that same friend accidentally over fill the fuel truck and dump appox. 300 gallons of 100LL down the drain/manhole cover on the tarmac. (He even kept his job). Airport kept it hush hush.

I never while I was a line guy took some C421 pilots vette out on the runway and got it up to 130. Then another day took his Caddy STS out (fassst).

I never pushed that same guys C421 into an A36. The tip tank on the 421 matches up perfectly with the valve covers on the A36. Huge dent on the tank and nice pushed in valve cover on the A36

 

[TrafficInSight]

I've never forgotten to get rid of full nose up elevator trim after a simulated engine out followed by a touch and go

 

[fastandlow]

Never took off and flew around in a J-3 many years back and forgot to buckle the lap belt with the door and side window wide open. doh!

 

[Flechas]

Never told a brand new student that if the fuel "looks like 100LL, smells like 100LL, anf tastes lile 100LL, then it must be 100LL", and the student never tried to taste the fuel either.....
that same student never puked in the plane after doing ground ref maneuvers, and then in final again (not the same day of the fuel event).

 

[fastandlow]

Never told a brand new student that if the fuel "looks like 100LL, smells like 100LL, anf tastes lile 100LL, then it must be 100LL", and the student never tried to taste the fuel either.....
that same student never puked in the plane after doing ground ref maneuvers, and then in final again (not the same day of the fuel event).

Gotta say, you play some joke on someone and get them to take a mouthfull of 100ll, then having them blow in your plane seems reasonable to me. If it's anything like gasoline, that's nasty! But I never siphoned gas out of a car incorrectly either.

 

[Flechas]

i never told him to taste it, i always said the same with all my students, this was the only one that went for it, he didnt drink it because i stoped him, but he got soem inside his mouth. now the puking was a different flight.

good thing these things didnt happened to me though...

 

[TIGV]

I never chemically burnt the side of my leg off by filling my zippo with 100 ll an then hopping in the old 1-Filthy for a dual x-country, man that hurt !

 

[Arizona]

I have never....
Almost been vectored into a mountain ouside of phoenix, then accidenatlly turned off the transponder and waited for the third call from ATC before responding.

Really I havn't. but heard about someone who might have.

 

[minitour]

I have never....
Almost been vectored into a mountain ouside of phoenix, then accidenatlly turned off the transponder and waited for the third call from ATC before responding.

Really I havn't. but heard about someone who might have.

let me guess...you never heard of someone not doing that and then not responding with "We'll recycle" either, right?

...or maybe they didn't say "we'll try the other one" when they only didn't have one...

I'm done playing, I just confused myself...

-mini

 

[paulsalem]

After a full stop landing...I have never taken off with full flaps in a 152 on my tower solo. Only to return to the ground 2 more times before realizing why i wasn't climbing.

Never after a full stop landing... taken off with full flaps in a barron and began to porpoise.

Never taxied slowly in our barron to log more multi time. (We pay by hobbs time, hobbs turns off upon Weight on wheels)

Never after not flight instructing for 4 months returned to my home airport and had trouble finding the airport after returning from a training flight in the practice area.

Never after thinking I should go around thinking, naw I can still make it.

After learning one engine on our baron won't feather said "we can still go, if we lose an engine we can set zero thrust"

...More to come as I remember, or do more flying this week

 

[paulsalem]

Never pulled the mixture istead of the props on climbout in a barron

 

[PropsForward]

Never after a full stop landing... taken off with full flaps in a barron and began to porpoise.

Aaahh, that explains it. I must have been behind you last week at FXE when you taxied off rwy 8 on B and took 20min to get to Banyon FBO (About 3/4 mile).

 

[peterbess]

I've never lined up the opposite direction on an intersection departure and corrected my mistake on the roll. Never.

 

[Nolife]

I've never...

I've never...
Flown w/o company ID;
Flown w/o my wallet... containing cert & med;
Flown w/o an alternate IFR;
Flown w/o charts;
Flown w/o checking weather;
Flown w/o pre-flight;
Flown w/o alt fuel;
Flown w/o checking my brain and attitude;
Man, I'm glad I never did any of that.

 

[VNugget]

I have never ...

... recreated that video with the Spitfire and the news reporter, with a few buddies of mine.

... yelled WOOP WOOP SINK RATE, WOOP WOOP SINK RATE into the pilot's mike in a 172 while he's transmitting. (K that one's going in the dork thread also...)

... said any Top Gun lines on tower freq. (ditto)

... been advised that there's a seat belt hanging out my right door ... after landing.

... tail striked.

... used a rolled-up sectional as an oil funnel

 

[A Squared]

I have never....
Almost been vectored into a mountain ouside of phoenix, then accidenatlly turned off the transponder and waited for the third call from ATC before responding.

Really I havn't. but heard about someone who might have.

Hahah, I know someone who didn't do this too, reportedly, the calls from ATC got pretty anxious.

 

[ShadowFlight]

I've never...

- Made a YYZ ground controller repeat taxi instructions and still couldn't get it right. Twice. First day of IOE.

- Forgot to turn off the strobes in the After Landing Checklist and parked at the gate. Three times.

- Forgot to bring up in the flaps in the same aforementioned checklist and parked at the gate. Twice. MKE and ATW.

- Forgot to close DC Tie during same checklist and when CA performs Thrust Lever cutoff, the Emergency Lights come on and get the double-ding. Never. Three times.

- Forgot the turn off the Engine Bleeds on shutdown only to not understand the Amber CAS message on the appropriate Systems Page. Four times.

- Forgot to reset the Manual Ground Spoilers deploy button and had a ramper tell me something's wrong with the plane. Never.

- Forgot the turn off the APU Master button. Twice. In the same day with the same Line Checkairman.

- Forgot required Vfe speeds and asked for flaps above those speeds.

- Misprogram the FMS numerous times and force the CA fly off in a direction we weren't supposed to go.

- Changed FGC modes while still in ASEL causing a ding and CAS message with the FGC to reverting to PIT mode.

- On a flight to OMA, respond to Chicago Center while audio panel button still on PA. Three times.

- On same aforementioned day on the return DIRECT OMA-MKE flight, tell the pax's we will be arriving in DSM in 30 mins.

- Very tired after a long day filled with delays, trying to land at night with ragged low ceilings and tower closed, misread the PFD and almost land on the wrong runway. Never.

- Forgot the required Visual Callouts on descent at 1000' and 500'.

- Forgot the required ILS final approach fix altitude callout.

- Called for clearance on Ops freq.

- Called for taxi on Ops freq.

- Called Departure on Tower. Can't count that high.

- Called Ops on Ground freq.

- Made a PA over Cleveland Center freq.

- Misdialed new freq on wrong radio going into BDL causing Boston Center to remind us to call BDL Approach. Once. On IOE.

- Violated Class D airspeed on departure. Twice.

- Got "behind the aircraft" on departure, forget to call Departure in a timely manner thereby forcing the CA to level off at 5000' on the MKE Brew2 departure. Twice.

- Forgot to get the airplane slowed to 250 prior to descending below Ten.

- Forgotten to put in enough aileron on a cross-wind landing causing the DoJet to wallow down the runway.

- Forgot to observe sterile cockpit procedures during taxi on a Captain Line check by making the comment about America West's PIC hiring requirements. Never.

- Gotten JOKINGLY whacked by the Line Checkairman's notebook in the aforementioned Line Check. Never.

- Still gotten laughed at by Captain and Line Checkairman for the sterile cockpit brain-cramp after landing at the destination during the still aforementioned Line Check. 90 minutes later.

- Forgot to "check-in" on crew computers forcing Crew Scheduling to call the lounge.

Nope, I've never done any of those things.

Peace

SF

 

[TrafficInSight]

... Had the previous airport's CTAF on comm 2 and the current airport's CTAF on comm 1 and made all of my radio calls on comm 2 for a landing, taxi back, and takeoff.... nope, never done that, no one saw me do it, you can't prove anything

 

[VNugget]

"Salinas traffic, Skyhawk 92E crossing the, uh...ah, the.. other runway"