Who is the biggest loser you have flown with?

[Princedietrich]

Well when you're a check-haulin freight dawg, anything bigger than a Fearjet 35 is a big heavy monster jet.

But bottom line, ya don't flare them. Now where's my beer.

 

[AMDFlyer]

Any one remember "Precious" at Ameristar? If so, enough said.....lol.


No really, on one particular flight, Precious was flying with a great Captain friend of mine. While at cruise, Precious turn to my buddy and says, "you know, I don't know what rimjob is, but I sure do like it." My buddy called as oon as they landed totaly freaking out. I think he still has nightmares to this day.

I need to ask around about "Precious" because I do not remember; but if you had ever flown at Ameristar you just do not want to do it now. with a few exceptions now there are a couple guys that are just only unpleasent to fly with; lowtime,lazy,they act like they know all, and they bust regs from take -off til ldg.
FO to Capt.in a jetosaurus during Ils to mins:"are you sure you do not want Anti-ice on?
Capt.:"no i have idle power"
Fo.: "Anti-ice switch is electric it has nothing to do with engines power"
Capt.:

 

[Archie Bunker]

How about the FO who balanced the fuel on her 727 by dumping?'Sled

How does an FO dump fuel in a 727? The fuel panel and the dump switches are back on the Engineer's panel.

 

[Harblar]

I'm suprised UND hasn't gotten slammed more. I've been on more than one interesting flight there.

I had a student a few years back that would show up for flights in his CAP jumpsuit and Would mention at least 10 times before engine start how good jumpsuits were because of the pockets and all the stuff they could hold. This kid was also dead set on being a fighter pilot. (nothing wrong with that, but...) I remember one day I was sitting there waiting to get dispatched a plane and talking with another instructor while my student was doing his W&B. Cirrus was there giving demo rides that day and we were talking about the cirrus. The kid suddenly turns around and joins our conversation saying how the cirrus wasn't anything special, blah blah blah, Prop planes are dumb, blah blah blah, I'm going into the AF and I'm going to be a fighter pilot, blah blah blah. The other instructor and I look at eachotherwith this dumbfounded expression, both of us nearly at a loss for words. "You do know that the air force starts you off in a C-172?" What made it even funnier was flying with this kid. He already had his private and for all his big talk, he would nearly crap his pants If I ever demonstrated a turn steeper than a 15 degree bank.

More civil air patrol fun... A few months back I'm takin off in ABR. It's a sunday afternoon and a whole bunch of CAP planes are there practicing. So I'm turning downwind and look over at the runway where a CAP flight aircraft has taxied onto the runway for takeoff. However, prior to starting his take off roll, He does a complete 360 degree turn to check for traffic. Now I have nothing against clearing the area for traffic, but what's the point of doing it AFTER you've already taxied onto the runway? It's a little late to hold short for traffic on final at that point. Stuff like this just boggles my mind!

I've got more stories, but it's late and I'm tired.

 

[FoxyWhiskey]

Probably the captain who is now not speaking to me because I laughed and then wouldn't take a picture of him in the left seat so he could run home and post it on MySpace! Dork! LOL

 

[landlover]

FO to Capt.in a jetosaurus during Ils to mins:"are you sure you do not want Anti-ice on?
Capt.:"no i have idle power"
Fo.: "Anti-ice switch is electric it has nothing to do with engines power"
Capt.:

switch might be electric but if this was at ameristar and in a falcon then having the anti ice on at idle power would do very little to get rid of ice.

 

[AMDFlyer]

switch might be electric but if this was at ameristar and in a falcon then having the anti ice on at idle power would do very little to get rid of ice.

Exactly my point, and this guys they think they know better....

 

[Extrascorp]

I need to ask around about "Precious" because I do not remember; but if you had ever flown at Ameristar you just do not want to do it now. with a few exceptions now there are a couple guys that are just only unpleasent to fly with; lowtime,lazy,they act like they know all, and they bust regs from take -off til ldg.
FO to Capt.in a jetosaurus during Ils to mins:"are you sure you do not want Anti-ice on?
Capt.:"no i have idle power"
Fo.: "Anti-ice switch is electric it has nothing to do with engines power"
Capt.:

Sounds like the FO does not have a thorough understanding how the Anti-ice sys. works in his/her airplane...with low power settings you might have all the valves open weather you open them with an electric switch or ESP powers...and still won't do anything

 

[Lead Sled]

How does an FO dump fuel in a 727? The fuel panel and the dump switches are back on the Engineer's panel.

Oops, my bad. That's what happens when you're dealing with a root canal gone horribly wrong. :bawling:

You're correct, I should have typed SO or FE. The incident happened back around 1985 at Western Airlines, just prior to the Delta merger. They let the young lady go.

LS

 

[pgcfii2002]

My parents bought me one of those "aviator" watches...the big kind. I made them take it back.

 

[whaleroast]

I took my 2 kids up in a Cessna 172 on Saturday afternoon to imbibe their father's passion of flying and let Mom go shopping for brown closed-toed sandels. I'll skip talk of the preflight...that was a joke. They couldn't tell the difference between a pitot tube and a static wick. The best was yet to come, though. My 4 year old legs couldn't reach the rudder pedals! I had to taxi the plane. Takeoff was fine but he couldn't hold altitude, heading or a constant airspeed. I finally had to take the controls from him. I whipped him into the back and pulled up my younger boy, who started whining about his sippy cup! After a stern lecture and a threat of tossing out his bear blanky, my younger boy took the yoke. He was no means a pilot cut from the loin of Whaleroast. He wouldn't flare, dropped his pacifier kept taking about Dora and the Backyardigans when he should have been concentrating on P-factor! And the radio calls...eh gods!

At the end of the day, I realized how good of a pilot I am.

By far the worse pilots I have flown with.

 

[CrimsonEclipse]

I took my 2 kids up in a Cessna 172 on Saturday afternoon to imbibe their father's passion of flying and let Mom go shopping for brown closed-toed sandels. I'll skip talk of the preflight...that was a joke. They couldn't tell the difference between a pitot tube and a static wick. The best was yet to come, though. My 4 year old legs couldn't reach the rudder pedals! I had to taxi the plane. Takeoff was fine but he couldn't hold altitude, heading or a constant airspeed. I finally had to take the controls from him. I whipped him into the back and pulled up my younger boy, who started whining about his sippy cup! After a stern lecture and a threat of tossing out his bear blanky, my younger boy took the yoke. He was no means a pilot cut from the loin of Whaleroast. He wouldn't flare, dropped his pacifier kept taking about Dora and the Backyardigans when he should have been concentrating on P-factor! And the radio calls...eh gods!

At the end of the day, I realized how good of a pilot I am.

By far the worse pilots I have flown with.

WOW! He sounds better qualified than ALOT of Capt's I've flown with!


CE

 

[sweptwingz]

How about a female PIC I used to fly BE-1900s with? She openly bragged to everyone about her pencil whipped (fake) logbook hours. "I don't have time to waste starting my major airline career waiting to build up my total time" she said.

She not only lied her way into the majors, she quickly moved into a management hiring / interview slot at one of the top carriers.

If there is any justice in this universe, after she finally dies, she'll come back as a slime mold.

 

[whaleroast]

Isn't that The Russian?

 

[ableone]

Back in the eighties I was working as a lineman. One of our charter pilots, retired navy, suggested the Silly Ass Patrol as a way of building time. He had done it back in the fifties and said it had been a good deal.

I look them up in the phone book and get their Executive Officer, Major Whomever.

I start asking questions and Whomever tells me that "yea, you can be reimbursed for flight time but only if you are a 'mission pilot' on an acutual search mission. I ask him what does it take to become a "mission pilot"?

He says it requires ten hours of actual search pattern flying. That doesn't sound bad so I ask how you go about getting the time and how many mission pilots do they have?

Major Whomever replies that he has been in the CAP for ten years and already has seven hours of the required ten. They have ONE fully quallified mission pilot, Captain Old, who has been in the CAP since it was founded.

OOOkay thanks for your time.

I have always regretted not getting involved. I would have had an excuse to wear a flight suit and I would probably be a mission pilot by now. Think of all the respect you non-mission-pilot board monkees would have for me had I joined.