What's the dumbest question you've been asked as a pilot?

[ERfly]

"Where's the big plane?"

"Is this it?"

 

[turbodriver]

Will you call me later?

you wish....

 

[cezzna]

I took a couple on a sightseeing flight in a C-172. The guy in the back seat asks me (I Sh!t you not) how many engines the airplane has.

 

[scottn2flying]

You're a pilot! That must be exciting
Answer: Not if I do it right

 

[check6]

good thread.

After putting left x-wind correction in with the ailerons and turning to the right, I was asked if the "steering wheel" (yoke) worked opposite of how a car was driven!!

After pre-flighting below a control tower, getting in, starting up(facing the control tower), getting ATIS, talking to the ground controller and explaining that the ground controller is in the tower next to the tower controller. . . ."Where is the tower?"

Not a question, but watching a 172 taxi down an access road(not a taxiway), hitting two tails(and not stopping) with the right wing, then a fence. He said the wind blew him off of the taxiway. I'm glad I didn't check him out.

 

[Foldem]

Had a guy whom I was taking on a scenic flight, on a perfectly beautiful sunny day, ask me if 'it was sunny up there, too.'


t

 

[Way2Broke]

Not really a question, but a FA for ASA after landing in Macon, Ga. Landies and Gentleman, welcome to Macon. You may set your clocks to the local time be setting them back 20 years. Love it!

 

[FR8 DAWG]

Too many to list

About two days after flying for a regional I realized that my uniform was basically a "Have question, please ask me Device." Here are some of the highlights of my survey:

Are you a pilot? A: No, I just where this to get through security a little quicker.


Your a co-captain right, when are you ever going to really fly A: Dumbfounded, couldn't think of one (by the way, what is a co-captain).


In DEN (by the baggage carousel). "Sir, there's a bag stuck on the carousel." A: Ohh let me find a plumber to come unclog it.

At bars, at least once a night, "So when are you flying next?" A: I'm actually going right after this beer.

Flight Attendant at training. "How longs your training? About two months I said. She said, darn I should have done that instead, it would be just a couple more weeks than our FA training." (She wasn't joking either).


Jumpseating home, "I'm glad your sitting back here, because if that guy up there flying screws up you can go help him." (I fly an RJ, this was on a 76).

In summary, I can garuntee one thing. Whering a monkey suit in a airport with some dorky hat, draggn' bag will teach you only one thing. People are stupid.

Hope this helps,
Dog

 

[flightcrew]

Q Can this thing actually fly?
A I guess we'll see in a moment.

Q Your F/O looks so young, does he have a drivers license?
A No mam' that's not required for the job.

Q Oh my God, this plane is soooo small.
A It's bigger than your trailer.

Q (Man pointing to cockpit) Is this the bathroom?
A No sir, it's the cockpit the lav is located in the back of the a/c.
Q Well, can I still go in there?

 

[cosmotheassman]

Someone asked us if we worked for Orkin in a restaurant one day...I said, yes we're here to clean up all the bugs in the kitchen...

 

[stewardess71]

On one of my first flights at Eagle, I was asked by a pax where I stayed last night on the layover. I turned to him and said "the Captain's room. I have also been asked how much I make, when will I get to work on the bigger planes, and how many legs I do a day.

 

[Corona]

Me (a bit irritated): What is that over there? [Pointing to large body of salt water off the right wing]

Student (currently lost and characteristically clueless): Is that the Pacific?

I kid you not...

C

 

[Corona]

Had a classic question just yesterday; thanks to one of our Flightinfo member's signatures for my response. I was giving sightseeing rides in a 172 heavy.

Pax: You're really a pilot? You can really fly that thing?

Me: Yep; well, I try...sure are a lot of switches and things...

C

 

[wanabe_fo]

ppl helps

I had a guy stop me during my walkthru on the B1900 once and tell me he had his private pilots license and if we needed help we could call him.

I was commuting from HPN to ALB in uniform. The airport was socked in most all day. I walked over to the gate agent and asked if she could print the weather forecast for me. She said yes but that she did not know how to read them. I once again asked her to print them because I could read them. She then responded in complete confusion, "I thought they only taught the captain how to read those things".

I was commuting on Coex from CLT to IAH in uniform, I was sitting in 1A. The captain had gotten up to go to the lav. I was feeling a little mischievous so I got up a few seconds later and walked to the back of the plane. So now everyone has seen the capt walk into the lav and me standing there waiting. There was a look on some people’s faces that was priceless. Then someone finally asked, if both of you are here who is flying the plane. I told them the auto pilot and a blow up doll like you see on the airplane movies.

 

[FedExFlyer]

Q: Who do you fly for?

A: FedEx

Q: Oh. Isnt that cargo? Do you have your application in to United and Delta so you can make a living?

A: Ummmmmmmmm.....NO