What's the dumbest question you've been asked as a pilot?

[AlphaSierra01]

My favorite one I was asked was "How do those BIG airplanes stop on those little a$$ wheels?"

 

[BOHICAgain]

Are you the pilot or the person who sits next to him...


Where are the parachutes??


Is there a bed in the cockpit??

 

[Metro752]

Standing in CLT one day, I was over at the sun glass hut wasting time.

A lady comes over to me, and asks where the 'C' Concourse was. Mind you, the concourses in CLT at the time were marked with 25 foot blue illuminated letters so bright that they cast shadows, and we were standing not 20 feet from the 'C'.

Without saying a word, I took a pair of shades off the rack, put them on, and stared at the 'C' and pointed.

Not even a thank you...what a bitch...

Nu

lmao thats hilarious, i can just imagine.

 

[viper548]

Is this the flight to .........?

Out of SLC that is a very legit question. I've had several pax get on the wrong plane out of there.

 

[LAXSaabdude]

Where are the parachutes??

Love that question.

Most pax would be lucky if they could successfully operate their own oxygen masks, let alone strap up and properly use a parachute.

LAXSaabdude.

 

[4fanman]

Muahahahahaha

The next time I'm stuck in the terminal waiting for a ride, I think I'll randomly pick some crewmember and start asking stupid questions. After having been on the recieving side for years, I could probably come up with some good ones.

This could be really entertaining. Maybe I could even capture their initial look of disbelief/frustration with a camera. :laugh:

On second thought, maybe not. With my luck I would pick the one guy that is riding the fence of sanity and was one stupid question away from going :uzi: .

 

[whaleroast]

One time I was standing out front of a hotel in uniform waiting for the shuttle to pick us up and this old woman asked me if I was a Mormon.

 

[no_desk_for_me]

This has got to be the dumbest questions I have ever heard. As an F/O on the 1900 we had a rather empty flight with maybe three passengers so I told them they could all sit whever they liked. One man got up and started walking to the front of the airplane to sit in 1A and asked me, "Can I sit here today or is this your seat." i couldn't believe it. He was dead seriouse and had a straight face. My patience was running low that day with passangers and before I could come up with some smart a** remark another passenger jumped in and told him to sit down and went off on him for not knowing who he was talking to. I just stood there in amazment that someone was that ignorant and that the lady biteing his head off actually knew something.

 

[Cutlass1287]

"Oh your a pilot huh! So do you fly into buildings?"

 

[freeflyer14]

This is one situation we commuters have over the guys who live in base... We get to deal with all this crap way more often. I have spent the time reading this thread cracking up because of how familiar most of it sounds. I also ride public transportation from my home to the airport so it happens twice as often.

On the train, going towards the airport, in uniform, with luggage, when the airport is the last stop of the line

moron: "so are you going to fly today?"

 

[Flyforyou]

Q: Sir, am I going to die on this airplane?
A: I don't know ma'am, have you checked your blood pressure lately?

 

[turbodriver]

Funny you should ask. I think it may have just happened yesterday. I was standing at an empty gate, looking at open time on the computer. An old woman came up to me and asked me if I knew where there was an ATM that would take (insert bank name) cards. I said, I'm sorry, I don't know, you may look in the food court, most ATMs will take other bank ATMs for a small surcharge.

She then launched into a long-winded story about how an ATM wouldn't take her card and that she really needed one from her bank. Did I know where one was?! I said no, I do not. She seemed kind of disgusted as she walked away.

For some reason, when you wear a pilot uniform, people think you have an encyclopedic knowledge about everything that goes on at the airport.

LAXSaabdude.

ain't that the friggin truth....

 

[turbodriver]

"Isn't this a prohibited item?" - BUR TSA agent holding up my headset
"Why do you have an aviation radio?" - Same BUR TSA agent
"Are you aware that navigation charts are not allowed in carry-on luggage?" - BUR TSA agent's supervisor.

I missed three possible flights waiting for the BUR TSA incompetence squad to find someone literate enough to read their own policy and regulation documents.

Relax, Bush and Co. will soon replace all of them with the non-english speaking, minimum wage earning, not giving a $hit private screeners. All because the Dept. of homeland security needs to save money.

Securing the country is secondary.

 

[Jimdandy]

Snowing like crazy in MSP. Had a hill-billy type come up to me and ask how do those tire work in snow he then went on to ask do you ever put chains on them.

 

[Positive Rate]

Dead heading somewhere in uniform.....the usual buzzed up guy bloats out the usual question.....Shouldn t you be up there drivin?

Answer: ahh but i am i have a remote control in my pocket..