What's the dumbest question you've been asked as a pilot?

[4fanman]

Muahahahahaha

The next time I'm stuck in the terminal waiting for a ride, I think I'll randomly pick some crewmember and start asking stupid questions. After having been on the recieving side for years, I could probably come up with some good ones.

This could be really entertaining. Maybe I could even capture their initial look of disbelief/frustration with a camera. :laugh:

On second thought, maybe not. With my luck I would pick the one guy that is riding the fence of sanity and was one stupid question away from going :uzi: .

 

[whaleroast]

One time I was standing out front of a hotel in uniform waiting for the shuttle to pick us up and this old woman asked me if I was a Mormon.

 

[no_desk_for_me]

This has got to be the dumbest questions I have ever heard. As an F/O on the 1900 we had a rather empty flight with maybe three passengers so I told them they could all sit whever they liked. One man got up and started walking to the front of the airplane to sit in 1A and asked me, "Can I sit here today or is this your seat." i couldn't believe it. He was dead seriouse and had a straight face. My patience was running low that day with passangers and before I could come up with some smart a** remark another passenger jumped in and told him to sit down and went off on him for not knowing who he was talking to. I just stood there in amazment that someone was that ignorant and that the lady biteing his head off actually knew something.

 

[Cutlass1287]

"Oh your a pilot huh! So do you fly into buildings?"

 

[freeflyer14]

This is one situation we commuters have over the guys who live in base... We get to deal with all this crap way more often. I have spent the time reading this thread cracking up because of how familiar most of it sounds. I also ride public transportation from my home to the airport so it happens twice as often.

On the train, going towards the airport, in uniform, with luggage, when the airport is the last stop of the line

moron: "so are you going to fly today?"

 

[Flyforyou]

Q: Sir, am I going to die on this airplane?
A: I don't know ma'am, have you checked your blood pressure lately?

 

[turbodriver]

Funny you should ask. I think it may have just happened yesterday. I was standing at an empty gate, looking at open time on the computer. An old woman came up to me and asked me if I knew where there was an ATM that would take (insert bank name) cards. I said, I'm sorry, I don't know, you may look in the food court, most ATMs will take other bank ATMs for a small surcharge.

She then launched into a long-winded story about how an ATM wouldn't take her card and that she really needed one from her bank. Did I know where one was?! I said no, I do not. She seemed kind of disgusted as she walked away.

For some reason, when you wear a pilot uniform, people think you have an encyclopedic knowledge about everything that goes on at the airport.

LAXSaabdude.

ain't that the friggin truth....

 

[turbodriver]

"Isn't this a prohibited item?" - BUR TSA agent holding up my headset
"Why do you have an aviation radio?" - Same BUR TSA agent
"Are you aware that navigation charts are not allowed in carry-on luggage?" - BUR TSA agent's supervisor.

I missed three possible flights waiting for the BUR TSA incompetence squad to find someone literate enough to read their own policy and regulation documents.

Relax, Bush and Co. will soon replace all of them with the non-english speaking, minimum wage earning, not giving a $hit private screeners. All because the Dept. of homeland security needs to save money.

Securing the country is secondary.

 

[Jimdandy]

Snowing like crazy in MSP. Had a hill-billy type come up to me and ask how do those tire work in snow he then went on to ask do you ever put chains on them.

 

[Positive Rate]

Dead heading somewhere in uniform.....the usual buzzed up guy bloats out the usual question.....Shouldn t you be up there drivin?

Answer: ahh but i am i have a remote control in my pocket..

 

[ERfly]

"Where's the big plane?"

"Is this it?"

 

[turbodriver]

Will you call me later?

you wish....

 

[cezzna]

I took a couple on a sightseeing flight in a C-172. The guy in the back seat asks me (I Sh!t you not) how many engines the airplane has.

 

[scottn2flying]

You're a pilot! That must be exciting
Answer: Not if I do it right

 

[check6]

good thread.

After putting left x-wind correction in with the ailerons and turning to the right, I was asked if the "steering wheel" (yoke) worked opposite of how a car was driven!!

After pre-flighting below a control tower, getting in, starting up(facing the control tower), getting ATIS, talking to the ground controller and explaining that the ground controller is in the tower next to the tower controller. . . ."Where is the tower?"

Not a question, but watching a 172 taxi down an access road(not a taxiway), hitting two tails(and not stopping) with the right wing, then a fence. He said the wind blew him off of the taxiway. I'm glad I didn't check him out.

 

[Foldem]

Had a guy whom I was taking on a scenic flight, on a perfectly beautiful sunny day, ask me if 'it was sunny up there, too.'


t

 

[Way2Broke]

Not really a question, but a FA for ASA after landing in Macon, Ga. Landies and Gentleman, welcome to Macon. You may set your clocks to the local time be setting them back 20 years. Love it!

 

[FR8 DAWG]

Too many to list

About two days after flying for a regional I realized that my uniform was basically a "Have question, please ask me Device." Here are some of the highlights of my survey:

Are you a pilot? A: No, I just where this to get through security a little quicker.


Your a co-captain right, when are you ever going to really fly A: Dumbfounded, couldn't think of one (by the way, what is a co-captain).


In DEN (by the baggage carousel). "Sir, there's a bag stuck on the carousel." A: Ohh let me find a plumber to come unclog it.

At bars, at least once a night, "So when are you flying next?" A: I'm actually going right after this beer.

Flight Attendant at training. "How longs your training? About two months I said. She said, darn I should have done that instead, it would be just a couple more weeks than our FA training." (She wasn't joking either).


Jumpseating home, "I'm glad your sitting back here, because if that guy up there flying screws up you can go help him." (I fly an RJ, this was on a 76).

In summary, I can garuntee one thing. Whering a monkey suit in a airport with some dorky hat, draggn' bag will teach you only one thing. People are stupid.

Hope this helps,
Dog

 

[flightcrew]

Q Can this thing actually fly?
A I guess we'll see in a moment.

Q Your F/O looks so young, does he have a drivers license?
A No mam' that's not required for the job.

Q Oh my God, this plane is soooo small.
A It's bigger than your trailer.

Q (Man pointing to cockpit) Is this the bathroom?
A No sir, it's the cockpit the lav is located in the back of the a/c.
Q Well, can I still go in there?

 

[cosmotheassman]

Someone asked us if we worked for Orkin in a restaurant one day...I said, yes we're here to clean up all the bugs in the kitchen...