What's the dumbest question you've been asked as a pilot?

[milehigh6080]

When someone I was talking to found out that I was a pilot, the response was "Oh wow, aren't you scared????!!!!" I wish I could say that wasn't true, but in fact it's actually happened more than once.

 

[jetexas]

When do you get to fly the real planes? *Grrrr*

Your pay must be fabulous!

How long until you move up to big American (from Eagle)? *laugh*

What's you usual route? *roll eyes*

(confused for a skycap) WELLLL!!! You just gonna stand there??? Yes...I am!

(deadheading) I mentioned to the lady next to me that I was hoping to get there early so I could get something to eat in the terminal. "Oh, why don't you have them call ahead so they (the company) can have you a tray of food ready for you when we get there??"

 

[FlyChicaga]

Flying from Ohio to Vermont, F/A calls up:
F/A: "A passenger wants to know if that is Lake Champlain." (It's Lake Ontario.)
Capt: "Nope, it's the Atlantic Ocean."
F/A: "Ok!" *Click*
I just go "oh no, here we go." Sure enough, 2 minutes later, F/A calls.
F/A: "How the heck can that be the Atlantic Ocean? Are you guys lost?"
Me: "We were just kidding. It's Lake Ontario."
F/A: "Yeah right." *Click*

Taxiing out for my commute, I'm in the last row aisle seat dead asleep already. I kinda wake up halfway when the Captain gets on the PA about a flow delay, and I hear the engines shut down. Businesswoman by the window then proceeds to shake my arm to wake me up, and says "Do we have enough fuel to wait??" I'm still half asleep, and say, "Sorry, I don't have access to any fuel quantity gauges." Then she shakes me again. "Can you call the Captain and ask??" Uh, that would be a big no.

Back in the hat-required days, walk up to the counter to jumpseat to work. In uniform, hat, overcoat, etc. Ask if I can get the jumpseat, and the gate agent looks at me and goes, "Pilot for flight attendant?" I just kinda stood there, and finally said, "Seriously?"

I never get worked up about the stupid questions. Just part of the job. It's just those really idiotic ones that sometimes cause you to be speechless that really get me! It's like, how the heck do I even respond to this?

 

[LAXSaabdude]

Sleeping in the last row of a 757 commuting to work, I sort of wake up, open one eye, to see a guy standing in the aisle, right in my face. He says "How come you people don't let us use the first class lav when one of the rear ones is broken?!"

"Sorry, it's a federal law."

"OHHHH!! So the federal government has a problem with us coach people mingling with first class!"

"It's a security law. Did you notice that the cockpit door is right next to the first class lav? How would you feel if there were 5 guys standing around in front of the cockpit?"

"oh...ok."

LAXSaabdude.

 

[NuGuy]

Standing in CLT one day, I was over at the sun glass hut wasting time.

A lady comes over to me, and asks where the 'C' Concourse was. Mind you, the concourses in CLT at the time were marked with 25 foot blue illuminated letters so bright that they cast shadows, and we were standing not 20 feet from the 'C'.

Without saying a word, I took a pair of shades off the rack, put them on, and stared at the 'C' and pointed.

Not even a thank you...what a bitch...

Nu

 

[AlphaSierra01]

My favorite one I was asked was "How do those BIG airplanes stop on those little a$$ wheels?"

 

[BOHICAgain]

Are you the pilot or the person who sits next to him...


Where are the parachutes??


Is there a bed in the cockpit??

 

[Metro752]

Standing in CLT one day, I was over at the sun glass hut wasting time.

A lady comes over to me, and asks where the 'C' Concourse was. Mind you, the concourses in CLT at the time were marked with 25 foot blue illuminated letters so bright that they cast shadows, and we were standing not 20 feet from the 'C'.

Without saying a word, I took a pair of shades off the rack, put them on, and stared at the 'C' and pointed.

Not even a thank you...what a bitch...

Nu

lmao thats hilarious, i can just imagine.

 

[viper548]

Is this the flight to .........?

Out of SLC that is a very legit question. I've had several pax get on the wrong plane out of there.

 

[LAXSaabdude]

Where are the parachutes??

Love that question.

Most pax would be lucky if they could successfully operate their own oxygen masks, let alone strap up and properly use a parachute.

LAXSaabdude.