What's the dumbest question you've been asked as a pilot?

[willis]

This douche boards the plane wearing a button up shirt with a huge NASA logo on the left nip area asks me "High pressure still dominating the area?"
I kind of chuckled as he walked by. I didn't answer him because I didn't know how to answer a stupid question like that.
I think he was looking for an answer like this: "I don't know sir, oh you must be a astronaut, can you explain how high pressure would benefit us today?"

 

[English]

Yesterday I had someone ask me how long I've been a flight attendant.

 

[CarRamRod]

Says it all

http://www.moviewavs.com/cgi-bin/moviewavs.cgi?Airplane=naked.wav

 

[wahoo250]

Here's a stupid question a pax asked the FA: I went to the lav, so the FA goes into the flightdeck. I go back in and the FA comes out. The pax asked the FA if he was flying the plane while I was in the lav

you should have said "no...thats his girlfriend"

 

[smellthejeta]

DING-DING-DING---We have a winner! This is the dumbest question so far.

The scary thing is that people like this are expected to be informed voters.

No, the scary thing is that stupid people like that can complain and get you in trouble.

 

[AV1ATRX]

Hey English, I was thinking as I was reading this thread that the female pilots should probably have their own thread on this.

There's not enough space here to post all the stupid questions I've been asked over the years, but two recent ones come to mind.

First, after getting to the gate for our early morning departure, the captain and I realize that our FA got hung up in security. I'm standing at the gate and the captain has gone down to the plane, and he tells me to get the paperwork. So I politely stand there, waiting for the gate agent to hand me the paperwork, in my full uniform (because it's winter), and the gate agent asks me where the First Officer is. I told him the Flight Attendant was still in security. So he said, "Well, I'll just give him the paperwork when he gets here. Do you want to go down to the plane? Give me a call when you're ready to board."

Second one was a gem. The crew was all female. The gate agent looks at us, checks our badges, and then says, "Who gets the paperwork?" Then the passengers, who are all sitting there waiting to board start asking the gate agent when the pilots were going to show up. This is as we are walking past them to the jetbridge. The gate agent never told them the pilots had arrived. Imagine the looks on their faces as they boarded and saw us in the cockpit! And to make this scenario even better, the captain was pregnant! We laughed about that one all the way to the next stop.

Also had a guy the other day in his full southern accent talk to me for about half an hour on they way to the airport. As we were entering the terminal he says "Are YOU the pilot?" I say, "Why yes I am." And he says, "I've never seen me one of them girl piluts before. Ain't you skeered to fly one of them things?" I'm also southern, and I talk like that too, so I'm allowed to make fun of those people. I just told him that I like adventure.

 

[AvroJockey]

Will you call me later?

Flight Attendants are like bowling balls; easy to pick up, they have three holes, and when thrown in the gutter, they always come back to you!

 

[HatWearer]

This guy comes up to the cockpit and is like "do you guys fly on instruments or just take the ILS all the way?"

 

[Meiguy]

heard this the other day

I was on a tram going from one terminal to the next. While on the tram the automated voice started to list all the airlines that are at the next terminal. It starts with Airtran, AirFrance...then gets to American Eagle. Right about that time this guy looks at me with a blank stare. Then says, "Wow, I had no idea American Eagle Outfitters was big enough to have their own airline." I then gave him a blank stare. After contemplated his statement he then said, "I wonder what kind of clothes the crew wears." It was a long day for me so I just told him I thought that in the winter time the flight attendants wore flannel shirts and then got off the tram with him still sporting the dazed stare of dissbelief. Some people just don't have a clue.

 

[I Hate Freight]

Can this plane fly to the moon?

I kid you not, and he was serious.

 

[Flyingdutchman]

Well, I have to say AR looks like the moon to me..

 

[svcta]

"You want to put your what where!?"

 

[captpetefam]

Huh??

"Would you all be interested in our drink specials?"

 

[RichardRambone]

When are you going to get your commercial license? Why dont you go to MCI and put in an app for a pilot for (insert airline)? Pilots are in high demand and make shat tons of money.

 

[Dumbluck]

This is one of the funniest quest/response stories I've heard but a little background is required. this happened pre 9/11 when Midwest was still serving steak, wine and champage with the cookies. A pax connecting from midwest(md-80) to skyway(be1900d) on their way home when the pax asked the FO while he was doing the cabin walk through "Is that a bottle of champagne in your pocket?" FO repies " Nope, I'm just happy to see you" True story, fortunatly the pax had a good sense of humor

 

[buckwheatt]

As an FO.....

So when will they let you actually fly the airplane and not just talk on the radio.

 

[belchfire]

hehehe

The couple walks up to me and asks
"How much would it cost to call Florida
on that pay phone?"

Completely befuddled by the confusion
between my uniform and that of a BellSouth
employee the best I could come up with
was "I have no bloody idea!"

 

[jackotron]

"Did you guys fly here like that?" Her husband just started shaking his head and looking down...

Priceless. Those didn't happen to be my folks did they? Did you drop them off at YYC?

Jack

 

[Mike man]

It was not asked to me, but my FA...

Had a PAX walk up front while boarding and ask the FA, who is standing next to the cockpit door boarding the PAX's, if...

PAX: Do you have any elbow pads?
FA: Elbow pads? No!
PAX: My elbows hurt really bad.
FA: I' sorry about that.
PAX: I really need some elbow pads.
FA: I don't know what to tell you.
PAX: How about where I can get some elbow pads.
FA: I don't know, we don't have anything for you to use. Please take your seat.
PAX: I can't put my elbows on the arm rests without elbow pads.
FA: Then don't put you elbows on the arm rests. Please sit down!!

 

[Flightist]

Somewhere West of Boise...

Ture story:

I had a student who was getting her first X-country training and was doing a great job of following along with her sectional. I had just pointed out to her that we had crossed the Oregon-Idaho border when she looked out and asked me why she couldn't see the line (state border) that's on the sectional. After realizing she was really serious, I told her that they're a bit short on public funds in this area so they have a guy go out with one of those chalk application thingies they use on baseball diamonds once in a while. And it must have been a while since they last applied it. She seemed to be going for that idea when I decided it wasn't good form for me to make my students look like total idiots so I told her I was joking with her. Luckily for the aviation world she gave up flying.