What's the dumbest question you've been asked as a pilot?

[nickfaith]

I was flying a baron for this bread factory once..Their transportation manager was a commercial pilot with no IFR, no multi, and very non-current. He's sitting in the right seat (keep in mind, single yoke baron, no autopilot).

He asks "Is there any way for me to fly for awhile? I want to prove to these guys in the back I can fly this plane, so they'll just let me fly them around"

As if I want to give my job to this loser... so I let him fly a bit until the pax complained about him.

 

[180ToTheMarker]

Are you going to go to work when the bird flu hits?

 

[Oakum_Boy]

"Where's the bathroom, son."

 

[1973Arrow]

..can't let this one die...

 

[synchoff]

"Where's the bathroom, son."

Yeah, I loved this question on the Beech 1900 (no lav, so break out the sick sack, my friend).

 

[miles otoole]

Are you going to drink that entire 12 pack?

Pretty funny. Did you respond with "Of course. Unfortunately, it's all I could afford."?

 

[405]

Oh man, this is a good thread.

Keep 'em coming.

 

[pilotlbs]

School out? The wx's great!

I had a jack ass passenger ask me, "Is school out today?" I misunderstood him and replied, "No actually its supposed to be pretty warm." I thought he said 'Is it going to be cool out today?' Oh well, its probably for the best, otherwise I woulda had some smart ass comment for him.

 

[STREAKS]

How bout this... Are you saved?

_____________________
If your glass is half full, get a bigger glass.

 

[808pilot]

this happened 2 days ago and i thought my captain was going to lose it.....
we just finished a flight and were walking from our gate to the terminal for some coffee when we see his hottie walking towards us....she stops us, looks us up and down and then asks us in a german accent " excuse me but could you do something about this door over here, it nearly broke my nail and my finger really hurts...."
"i'm sorry, we are not maintenance people, we are pilots, we fly that plane right over there..."
she turns to take a look at the plane and says "oh"...."but could you take a look at it anyway? something needs to be done about this, or i'm going to write a complaint"
"again, we can't fix the door handle you need to talk to the gate agent for your flight and they can call someone...."
"but you see reight here is where my finger got cau"
"lady, we can't help you fix the door"
we couldn't believe how insistent she was and all that was wrong with the door was a strip of rubber had fallen off the handle leaving a little edge where she caught her nail......we see her later on standing at a completely different gate.....did i mention she was blonde?