I have never...

[Typhoon1244]

I have never told ATC that I was a student pilot, after I had gotten my liscense so that they would take it easy on me.

Thats lame!

Hey, back off from my man Siucavflight! Going into a big metroport for the first time can be intimidating for a new private pilot. I also never did this. In Tampa.

 

[Immelman]

I've never scared the crap out of a golfer who was making a driving range out of a grass strip (Wakonda Beach state airport on the Oregon coast).

I never, after starting the Citabria's engine in the parking area near midfield, (where he was hitting the golf balls) taxied past him motioning for him to get out of the way.

I never, after completing runup at the far end of the field, gunned the engine so that I would scare him. When he looked at the airplane (now in takeoff position, stopped, but pointing right at him), he gave me a confused look, and then resumed hitting golfballs.

I never applied takeoff power and just started rolling to scare him off the field. When he finally moved (running for his life, even though I could easily stop to avoid him), I never lifted off about 20' prior to where he dropped all of his golf clubs, balls, ball retreiver, and associated crap and started running.

And I never went back to see if he s#!t himself.

Another one...
I never jery (sp?) rigged the starter bendix (using the screwdriver from my pax's little brother's pickup truck took kit) of a PIECE-O-CRAP Arrow II to engage with the prop after unsuccessfully spinning the starter (but not prop) at a podunk northern california field 100nm from the nearest A&P.

After that, I never took off over gross, using a nearby highway as an "overrun -- accelerate to climb speed" clearing. But, I really never want to fly a normally aspirated Arrow again (that one is true).


...I've never done aerobatics without parachutes.

...I've never acknowleged ATC's instructions to go around (landing traffic rolling out, when I am on 2+ mile final), only to slow to 1.2 * Vso, and put-put my way closer until the traffic was clear, only to never ask ATC once again to land.... and then of course, ATC never sounded embarrassed clearing me to land. This never happed many times over the course of several months with the same controller.

...I've never landed (well, I wasn't PIC!!!) with another pilot at a closed airport.... which was in perfectly good condition, not marked closed on the sectional, and had some really faint yellow X's painted over the numbers. No, I'd never do that.

 

[dsee8driver]

Nobody's done that...but one morning at DFW, my father's F/O switched over to departure while they were sitting in position on 17R...during rush hour. Went on for three minutes. By the time dad figured out what happened, the guy in the tower was hysterical.

There is something about 17R. That exact thing happened to us when the switch biatch switched the frequency.


switch biatch=FE

 

[Mu2Driver]

I have never landed in Ft. Pierce thinking it was Steuart in the middle of the night as a new Private Pilot...

Good thing the towers were closed

 

[Toy Soldier]

I have NEVER accidently peeked at my co-pilots breasts as she bent forward to change a radio frequency....

I have never spoken bad with a hot mike about an errant controller .

I have never said ma'm to a controller - only to find out that she was a he.

I have never said sir to a controller - only to find out that he was a she.

I have never refered to flight training as "fright training" while in the pattern. Especially those in the "scare-coops".

 

[r1830]

I have never taken off in a 172 with the parking brake partially set still not catch it and land as well. I image those brakes would be hot and the airplane would stop in a hurry.

I have never had to shut down the right engine at 2am in the "storm of the century" because turbulence broke the oil pressure gauge

I have never forgotten my liscence and had a fed ask for it. Then say it must be in my flight bag in the aircraft. Instead of going out to the airplane, go catch a cab home to retrieve it out of the coat I wore the day before.

I have never reported 10 mile final to GJT in a 172 and ask for any other traffic in the area to please advise only to have a major airline MD 80 report the same 10 mile final 5 secs later and any other traffic in the area please advise. Boy those landing lights are bright at night when they suddenly turned them on after I called back and said I was 10 mile final and turning 90 degrees to get out of they way. Had to clean my shorts after that one. So did they I assume.

I have never been so busy on an ILS approach in 25 kt crosswind and 200 and 1/2 that I forgot to report FAF to tower. Landed and wondered why tower didn"t give us taxi instructions. Proceed to tell them we are clearing at Bravo and hear, "Thanks and by the way you were cleared to land"

I have never started to line up on the wrong offset parallel runway on my ATP checkride, have the fed ask what I was doing and reply shallow S turns to lose altitude to land on the closer correct runway.

 

[Typhoon1244]

I have NEVER accidently peeked at my co-pilots breasts as she bent forward to change a radio frequency....

And I've never done the same thing when they reach up to test the gravity crossflow prior to engine start, when you can see down their sleeves. Never.

 

[Bluestreak]

I ain't never...

I would never turn on the left pack while some moron delays the flight standing at the bottom of the stairs yapping into a cell phone.


I would never tell a controller "Ahh...Disregard-I was coming in broken and stupid" when I muffed a clearance.

I will admit,however,that one night going into LaGarbage I caught a controller napping.NY controllers make a big deal of having the latest ATIS,but on this night,it changed and he didn't have it.So,I told him something like "Negative sir,information Bravo is now current-call me back when you have it."


This guy I used to solo with was in cruise in the RJ one sunny day,trying to figure out why he kept seeing a rainbow outside his window.Checked glasses,moved his head around-still there.Just then the capt. sez "Hey,didja ever notice how the sun shining thru our contrails makes a rainbow out the window ?" "Oh,er,um,YEAH !"


I have never,whilst riding as ballast and radio beeyotch in a King Air on night,think "Gee,lookit that ground fog....Hmm looks clear up ahead..." while looking down from a few thousand feet.I did manage to figure out how much the exhaust distorts the lights on the ground before opening my mouth.

 

[SDCFI]

Well I never

I have never flown a Cherokee 140 less than 50ft off the water 1 mile offshore of San Diego. (For those of you who also never do this be sure to not watch for seagulls)

I have also never flown at less than 100ft above a heard of cows to see their reaction.

I ALWAYS follow the before-start checklist religiously and NEVER rely on my steel trap memory instead of the checklist.

Because I always use the checklist I have never started both engines on a Navajo with 1) nose baggage door open, and 2) rear baggage door open and left main chocked.

I have also never tried to taxi said Navajo with the left main chocked. (I'm the sure the folks sitting in the airline terminal across from the GA ramp got a kick outta that one)

Is it just me or does every day seem like monday when you fly freight on 5 hours sleep?

 

[great cornholio]

Never have I said "Welcome abored flight xxx with service to Washington Dulles (then looked out the window and reaized I was at Dulles) hmm looks like we are at Dulles in that case welcome abord flight xxx with service to New York Laguarida."

Or never had I got bored on a cross country and said Center sorry to break up your ping pong game but I just wanna make sure my radios are still workin

And since that never happened the controller never came back and said. Roger cessna 123 you are loud and clear and its 5 serving 2.

 

[ShawnC]

Or never had I got bored on a cross country and said Center sorry to break up your ping pong game but I just wanna make sure my radios are still workin.

In that vain, I have never filed PIREPs every 30 minutes to make sure the radios in my craptacular C172 that I rented was working.

Since I have done that one couldn't check the PIREP map the next day, and you could see the flight path that I didn't fly.

 

[Vladimir Lenin]

I have never seen a late 40s-looking dude, in a BRIGHT YELLOW, "new" VW Beetle, with a license plate that says "FLY SWA" and has a license plate frame that says, "My other ride is a 737"....
nope, never

 

[FL000]

I have never seen a late 40s-looking dude, in a BRIGHT YELLOW, "new" VW Beetle, with a license plate that says "FLY SWA" and has a license plate frame that says, "My other ride is a 737"....
nope, never

Those crazy flight attendants!

 

[SPBRIAN]

I have never....

Gotten paid less than what I was worth....

Been scared in an airplane.......

Spent countless hours at an airport holding up the wall....

Thought that the FAA might actually be there to help me.....

Flown Jumpers in the Pacific N.W.... (If you haven't done this you definatelly don't know what i'm talking about)....

Learned scud running.....

And then I absolutely positively have not ever put the above knowledge that I learned and forgotten to use.....

And I definatelly have never thought that I might be better off with a switch of careers....


Fly safe!

 

[siucavflight]

I have never been really bored and made a gigantic thread bump:0