"Great" cockpit talk..

[pdub20s]

p dubs is in training

Thanks for the back up lol

 

[SF340Guy]

After floating pretty far down rwy 5 in FWA, 10,000' long...
"Hey. leave some runway for the rest of us!!!"

 

[pilotpat]

After a long night of drinking in Vegas.........

"You want this leg?"

 

[Rook]

After a long night of drinking in Vegas.........

"You want this leg?"

Replace Vegas with MKE and...well never mind.:beer:

 

[Papa Woody]

**warning** **warning**

If a Captain's briefing starts with:

"I'm laid back".....

...then he's gonna end up being a prick and a royal pain-in-the-ass.

 

[Mesabi Miner]

"Clear and closed?"

"Rowdy the Dowtys and Dangle the Dunlops"

After a fast Saab approach and touchdown...

"Flight Idle Stop Released..... and................ there's Vref."

 

[Vne]

After a 'firm landing' over the PA " Those of you who have flown with First Officer Smith before will appreciate how much his landings have improved!"

 

[The Drizzle]

when reviewing landing data on the release on a rainy day, "The runways are the way i like my women, open and wet."

 

[DrewBlows]

If a Captain's briefing starts with:

"I'm laid back".....

...then he's gonna end up being a prick and a royal pain-in-the-ass.

This is universal aviation truth #1.

Here's one of my favorites.

"How's the outside?" (Translation: "Is the pre-flight check complete?")


"All of the big stuff and most of the small stuff is there." (Translation: "Yes.")

 

[aviatrix]

when reviewing landing data on the release on a rainy day, "The runways are the way i like my women, open and wet."

Wow....you guys really say this sh*t???

 

[pilotpat]

Dear God, no! I hate my women that way. That's just gross.

 

[xjlifer]

" I'm gunna chop it and drop it"

 

[DannyNoonan]

Wow....you guys really say this sh*t???

no cuz its sexist! theres no place for that in the airline industry

 

[willbob]

"Flight Idle Stop Released..... and................ there's Vref."[/quote]

MM now that's funny and was the way my LSE leg just went

 

[fried chickens]

A/P off - Hold on pilot flying

F/A calling up - "Crew Support, please hold"

To the F/A - With a dollar bill in the acars printer "Yeah, that's an ATM, watch"

 

[knewhigher]

"We can make it..."

 

[UnstableAviator]

PNF: You're a little too high.
PF: Its ok, I'm fast.

PNF: You're a little low.
PF: Its ok, I'm slow.

 

[BRA]

Anytime the FO sets off the overspeed clacker, or over 250Kts below 10,000 feet.....

"Whoah......first officer Earnhardt!!!!!!! Why don't we just paint this thing red and slap an 8 on the side!"


ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Occam's Razor]

when reviewing landing data on the release on a rainy day, "The runways are the way i like my women, open and wet."

A Captain I flew with a million years ago told the F/A's he liked his coffee, "...like my ex-wife...steaming and bitter!"

 

[JoeMerchant]

A Captain I flew with a million years ago told the F/A's he liked his coffee, "...like my ex-wife...steaming and bitter!"

thought it was "...hot and black..."

 

[CA1900]

I like my women like I like my whiskey: 18 years old and mixed up with coke!

 

[crashpad]

Once when we were way high on final Denver tower said:
"Air Shuttle 4236 cleared for re-entry on Rwy 16L".

 

[DX Rick]

Crew Brief : " I got drunker than a skunk last night, keep an eye on me"

Capt to FO : You wanna slow down? FO: Nah, thats what the runway is for.

 

[Sig]

thought it was "...hot and black..."

Unless of course you're Eddie Izzard: Covered in bees.

Or if you're me, which is highly unlikely (something like 1:6e9): Hot and black, with a spoon inside them.

 

[Flyprdu]

<MLG Touchdown>
"Everybody lives."
<NW Touchdown>

 

[CopilotDoug]

FO: Do you smell that???

CA: No...

FO: Don't worry...you will

 

[willNOTfly4free]

Captain to me just before my takeoff: "Make it happen captain"

 

[OK Bud!]

Here goes the autopilot and here comes the awful pilot

 

[ackattacker]

Climb checklist: Give her two dongs in the rear, the way she likes it.



PS Best.... Thread.... Ever....

 

[Soverytired]

"Time to chill the meat"

(max a/c before landing to pre-cool the aircraft for a long, hot taxi where the packs don't work so good)