"Great" cockpit talk..

[Flyby1206]

*Autopilot off* Ok, motion is on
*Autopilot off* Squawk 7700, Roll the trucks
*Autopilot off* Hold my beer and watch this

"Whats it doing now?"
"Hey hey, save the snap rolls for the airshow" (Erj autopilot sucks)
(At about 50ft AGL) "You ready for the gear?"

 

[pilotpat]

I've never seen that light before...

to ATC: Umm...whatcha painting out in front of us? (as it gets progressively darker inside)

 

[Grey Ghost]

While doing the flight control check: Knees, nuts, tits, and slit! Watch your sack, cause I'm coming back!

 

[IHateDaley]

While doing the flight control check: Knees, nuts, tits, and slit! Watch your sack, cause I'm coming back!

Or to a female captain: "watch the hole, here comes the pole."

 

[pgcfii2002]

Repeat after me...gear up, gear down...gear up...gear down.

 

[pilotpat]

Just sit there and clap your hands so I know you aren't touching anything.

 

[COOPERVANE]

"V1"....."VR"....."Oh my god what the hell is that thing!!! It's disc shaped and brightly illuminated!!!!"

 

[CA1900]

"I'm sure the smell will dissipate once we get the air going."

 

[DrewBlows]

*Autopilot off* Ok, motion is on
*Autopilot off* Squawk 7700, Roll the trucks
*Autopilot off* Hold my beer and watch this

*Autopilot off* "BRACE, BRACE, BRACE!"

 

[pgcfii2002]

"Did you eat Taco Bell for lunch?"