"Great" cockpit talk..

[DX Rick]

"that flight attendant calls me "Sugar" or "Hun" one more time, I'm going to break my foot off in his azz!""

 

[Thurman Merman]

Comming in to land in LGA on runway 22 on a saturday, so they are using it for T/O and lndgs. The then FO comes in a little hot and its a floater. I look out the left window and start waving, conversation is as follows;

FO: what are you waving at, Delta?
Capt: No the touchdown zone.
FO: ass!
Airplane: SMAAAAACK, BOUNCE, SMAAAAAACK!

Flying with another FO who couldn't manage the centerline on landing, My response, "did the d*mn thing beat you growin' up because sure as hell won't go near it."

Sure way to screw up a landing for the other guy, short final lga 22, look over at rikers island and to know one in paticular, "I wonder how much anal rape's goin' on right now?"

 

[MarineGrunt]

[female voice on radio]

Capt/FO: "I'll bet she's hot..."

 

[Diesel-9]

F/O Calls with 3 head positions, (r) Clear on the right! (L) Was that for us? (door) I'll take the chicken!

 

[MALSR]

Pretty much everything on this video is good:

http://www.broadcaster.com/clip/12339

 

[The Drizzle]

thought it was "...hot and black..."

nope, it's ".....ground up and left in my freezer....."

 

[JediNein]

Sure way to screw up a landing for the other guy, short final lga 22, look over at rikers island and to know one in paticular, "I wonder how much anal rape's goin' on right now?"

Also a good way to get coffee all over your keyboard.

 

[Mr Wu]

"Ring, Ring. It's the centerline calling for you, it wants you to come over"

 

[DannyNoonan]

FO: what are you waving at, Delta?
Capt: No the touchdown zone.
FO: ass!


great quote....even greater avatar!

 

[MALSR]

Please stop saying: "I'll watch out for you if you watch out for me." From what I hear that was said before comair 5191 left the gate. Its stupid to think that someone would intentionally not look out for the other unless you made this statement.

 

[viper548]

CA: Queer left
FO: Queer right (crossing runways and taxiways at SFO)

 

[knewhigher]

[female voice on radio]

Capt/FO: "I'll bet she's hot..."

hahahaha

 

[Thurman Merman]

Another time going into LGA;
35 miles south with new york approach control at 7000 in moderate icing. Chataqua checks on at eight, very excited,

CHQ: "New York Chataqua XYZ at 8000 Picking up Ice we need to decend now!"

NY: "Uh kay", -pause-, "traffic below you will have lower in 5 miles."

CHQ: -even more excited- "Negative, We need to GO UP OR DECEND NOW!"

NY: -agitated- "Chataqua decend and maintain 4000." -pause- "hey Colgan, you pickin' up ice at 7."

Me: -sarcastic- "UHHHH, yeah, Lil' bit, but we're certified"

NY: -laughter- "thanks! Colgan contact NY... 34.9"

Only thing I could figure, Cap'n was calling in range and 300 hr wonder pilot saw a lil' bit 'o ice one the window.

 

[Whataburger]

Is it bad if you Captain calls you a Nappy Headded FO?

 

[Dizel8]

My coffee, like my ex, dark and bitter!

 

[808pilot]

ca1900...classic.....you by chance fly for lakes in the past/present?

i always liked the "all balls" call for the altimeter setting(30.00)...even funnier when i heard chicks saying it....

 

[moonlight]

Line ups complete...FO calls "We're cocked, locked, and ready to rock, Cap'n!" Hearing from a 65 yr. old contract pilot drove it home.

 

[bigboeings]

Or James Bond on the meter (30.07)

 

[barrelroll]

This works well for two guys flying together:

Lean over nice and close to the other pilot and say...."Have you heard about the gay pilot at (fill in your airline)". After he responds tell him "Give me a little kiss and I'll tell you who it is".

 

[A-V-8]

We have white trash bags.

When we need one from the F.A. we politely ask for a Britney.

 

[Occam's Razor]

This works well for two guys flying together:

Lean over nice and close to the other pilot and say...."Have you heard about the gay pilot at (fill in your airline)". After he responds tell him "Give me a little kiss and I'll tell you who it is".

What if his response is, "You bet!...It's me!"...and he grabs your "stick"?

 

[Salukipilot4590]

What if his response is, "You bet!...It's me!"...and he grabs your "stick"?

Well that just means you lost the game of gay chicken...

...that is if you freak out...which you should...

 

[SkiDawg]

"Sure, turn it on, it's free!"

"Use 'them' if you need 'them'."

"I'll get you some news."

Those are just 3 random I thought of, I'm sure you can add...

D*ckhead CA on the first day of a 4 day: I'm pretty laid back!

 

[inthegoo]

My fav "you gonna eat that?"

 

[T-prop]

"clear on one?"

"clear on one."

"spinnin' one. fuel flow, light off . . . "

"do you know who Peter North is?"

". . . oil pressure. Yes, why?"

"I did that to my girlfriend."

"g___d__mn it Paul!!"

 

[Hoodabundy]

For all you SLC guys

Guy controller to girl pilot, &%#@1993 cleared direct CHUBY (pause) "YES SIR!"

 

[knewhigher]

"eeeeyyyy ramp, usair 123, chuck 4, rrrready to shove it!!!" (spoken in thick southern accent)

gotta love the clt ramp...

 

[awacs941]

Any new ones?

 

[Mesabi Miner]

"O.K. I'm just gonna slow to rough-air speed and hope nothin' comes off."

 

[epic!]

"hey...pull my finger."