any comebacks for the 'small plane' comment?

[jetexas]

The Captain I was flying with was 'short' on the small plane subject...
Boarding Pax: "Wow, this thing sure is small"
Captain (turns around in his seat and yells): "It's bigger than your Chevy Metro,.. you smarta$$"!!!

Another one:
Pax: "Wow, it's small"
Flight Attendant: "That's kinda personal, but haven't you heard size doesn't matter? It's what you do with it that counts"

 

[Exskydiverdrivr]

Quoted-The best is when the fine residents of Beaumont and Alexandria start bitching about the size of the aircraft. You A$$holes are lucky its a jet.

No kiddin! Ya should have seen em when we took BPT for ya in the EMB-120 for awhile. Enraged! Got asked by one passenger why they lost their jet service? To give other pilots a perspective here- these oil rich "Tycoons" in Beaumont are alot like the MRY, SUN, and Vail crowds. Too good to travel this way.

In perspective- If their rich uncle showed up to get em in his Lear 24, the only thing they would think is small is their own pocketbook.

 

[-9Capt]

The Airtran guy's love it when you tell ground: Roger we'll follow the DC-9.

Doesn't bother me, the ole -9 was a mans airplane.

 

[onlybiff]

I usually tell them: "at least its a short walk to the bathroom".....then under my breath...."because you no doubt have the runs from this mexican sh!thole we're whisking you away from"

 

[I.P. Freley]

Ya I got demoted to this thing after "the incident"

Okay THIS one I like! Good one...

The only one I used to use that I haven't seen yet is:

Stare incredulously at the airplane and exclaim "They MAKE airplanes bigger than this?"

 

[hbrow15]

The best is when the fine residents of Beaumont and Alexandria start bitching about the size of the aircraft. You A$$holes are lucky its a jet.

The good people of Beaumont wont have the jungle jet to complain about anymore, if I'm not mistaken I believe they gave BPT to Colgan and the Saabs.

 

[79%N1]

"Sorry Sir, If we knew you were coming today we'd have ordered you the big plane"

 

["TheBigPicture"]

You could always respond with " you're right, which means there'll be less fuel for the post-crash fire." That should shut em up.

 

[Flying Illini]

I like the cubicle ones...

"Hey, I don't come to your place of employment and comment on how small your office is!"

 

[Captain Overs]

It's bigger than your trailer!

 

[rke44]

The best of the best is this:

You wouldn't say that if it crashed into your house.

The only thing you risk is their ignorance guiding them to tell some authorities that you are a risk to air safety. Choose as you will. The fact is that no matter what you say they all still think that you are learning to fly this "puddle jumper" until you are capable to fly jets. It sucks, but what are you going to do?

 

[OldManPilot]

"It's an inflatable Airplane... as ticket prices go down, so does the size of the aircraft, ma'am."

 

[vtchaz]

not necessarily cheaper

You get what you pay for.

Many of the colgan flights are all business routes and the folks sitting in the back are paying FAR more than the typical $100 leisure internet fare...to ride on "these small planes". Most of them know what they're buying though cause they fly the route all the time and are happy to pay that money on those planes for the convenience of getting to the meeting and home same day.

 

[loisgriffin]

Seriously this thread is the best. There is nothing more annoying then the smart a$$ from bum-f*$k no where Iowa who gets on the plane and tells you how small it is... Or the princess from another small town in North Dakota who repeats it... I'll have to try some of these, I was getting sick of the, "Yup, it is," and giving them the "I want to kill you" stare.

 

[JediNein]

I lived in a single-wide that was bigger than a 1900. It had two toliets, a jacuzzi, and was earthquake-proof.

This is small!:
So is a ferrarii.
It's part of the government's program to force people to lose weight.
Yeah, but every seat is first class.
Makes it easier for you to stick your arm outside and flap (puzzled look), didn't Orbitz tell you about that?
Good thing you chose to fly on us, at our competition (point to Cessna 172 departing), you'd have to fly yourself there.
We have to keep it small, the anti-noise groups around this airport don't want anything bigger and noisier.
Next time you book online, check the box for the bigger airplane. You didn't see the box? It's a majority vote, insist on getting to check the box.
It's so we can carry less luggage.
I'd tell you to take the bus, except, frankly, the bus doesn't go there anymore.
I'd tell you to take the train, except, frankly, the train doesn't come here anymore.
The airline wants you to have a total flying experience. Those that paid for the premium package will sit on the wing for takeoff and will actually fly later in the trip. You can tell when they are flying 'cause it'll get really bumpy and we'll turn on the seatbelt sign.
Yeah, it's the biggest thing the first officer could afford. We're taking donations so he can bring a jet next time.

Fly SAFE!
Jedi Nein

 

[TIS]

Heard somewhere over Chicago in the late 80s:

C-5 guy: "How much does that little old DC-10 gross out at?

DC-10 guy: "About 150K a year. Why?"

 

[TIS]

United 1234: "How's the ride at FL350?"

ATC: "No reports at that altitude sir. Would you liek to be the first to try it out?"

United 1234: "It's smooth here, we'll stay here."

Citation X guy: "Ride's good at 470."

United 1234: "Yeah? How's the pay at 470?"

Citation X guy: "Haven't had a pay cut in over 10 years! You?"


................silence..................

 

[LAXSaabdude]

These are awesome!

In all seriousness, though. Has anyone ever had any work repercussions from using any of these comments? Gotten called into the CPs office?

LAXSaabdude.

 

[sleddriver77]

COLD night in CVG:
(Dude) "this airplane sure is small."
(Female FA.) "Yeah, well, it's really cold out tonight. It shrank a little. You know how it is."

One other time:

(Lady approaching jet from outside) "I really hate these little prop jobs".

(Me) "Ummm....Ya' see the two big cans hanging off the sides by the tail??
Yeah. Looks like they forgot to install the props."

 

[JediNein]

These are awesome!

In all seriousness, though. Has anyone ever had any work repercussions from using any of these comments? Gotten called into the CPs office?

LAXSaabdude.

Well, not as a pilot. . .

As a ticket agent, the luggage comment got me a conversation with the station manager. He was having a hard time keeping a straight face and nothing ever went on my record. I did charge the pax for two overweight bags (at 90 pounds each!) and that guy paid without any argument.

The "little" airplane the guy was referring to was a Saab.

Fly SAFE!
Jedi Nein