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any comebacks for the 'small plane' comment?
- Thread starter druglord
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TIS
Wing, Nosewheel, Whatever
- Joined
- Dec 19, 2001
- Posts
- 366
United 1234: "How's the ride at FL350?"
ATC: "No reports at that altitude sir. Would you liek to be the first to try it out?"
United 1234: "It's smooth here, we'll stay here."
Citation X guy: "Ride's good at 470."
United 1234: "Yeah? How's the pay at 470?"
Citation X guy: "Haven't had a pay cut in over 10 years! You?"
................silence..................
ATC: "No reports at that altitude sir. Would you liek to be the first to try it out?"
United 1234: "It's smooth here, we'll stay here."
Citation X guy: "Ride's good at 470."
United 1234: "Yeah? How's the pay at 470?"
Citation X guy: "Haven't had a pay cut in over 10 years! You?"
................silence..................
LAXSaabdude
Well-known member
- Joined
- Jul 25, 2002
- Posts
- 431
sleddriver77
Reformed Bush Pilot
- Joined
- Feb 16, 2002
- Posts
- 276
COLD night in CVG:
(Dude) "this airplane sure is small."
(Female FA.) "Yeah, well, it's really cold out tonight. It shrank a little. You know how it is."
One other time:
(Lady approaching jet from outside) "I really hate these little prop jobs".
(Me) "Ummm....Ya' see the two big cans hanging off the sides by the tail??
Yeah. Looks like they forgot to install the props."
(Dude) "this airplane sure is small."
(Female FA.) "Yeah, well, it's really cold out tonight. It shrank a little. You know how it is."
One other time:
(Lady approaching jet from outside) "I really hate these little prop jobs".
(Me) "Ummm....Ya' see the two big cans hanging off the sides by the tail??
Yeah. Looks like they forgot to install the props."
LAXSaabdude said:
Well, not as a pilot. . .
As a ticket agent, the luggage comment got me a conversation with the station manager. He was having a hard time keeping a straight face and nothing ever went on my record. I did charge the pax for two overweight bags (at 90 pounds each!) and that guy paid without any argument.
The "little" airplane the guy was referring to was a Saab.
Fly SAFE!
Jedi Nein
ex j-41
Well-known member
- Joined
- Feb 25, 2005
- Posts
- 881
All together now...
Won't seem so small when I shove it up your_ _ _.
Small plane for a small town....
How big is you're plane? sir.
You think this is small... You should see my paycheck!
It doesn't matter how big it is, as long as it has enough thrust...
Pay more for your ticket next time!
Avis Rent-A-Car is downstairs and would be happy to help you out.
Is it bigger than your car?
You ever heard of a little boat hitting an iceberg?"
Well, it's the biggest thing going to Buffalo that doesn't involve you sitting in Newark for four hours. Which would you prefer?
It grows in the air
Its so small we just pretend to fly it
Its a small plane with a great big heart
From the looks of your wife, I really can't argue with ya.
Really? I've never flown an airplane this big before!"
But at least it is very loud
It may be small but at least it is slow
I know, it's not as big as the Greyhound bus your used to riding on, but heck the Ticket cost half as much and we'll get you there 10 times faster
There are two things you never tell a man is small. One of them is his airplane.
They are standing too far away.
But I wear big shoes and big gloves
How about buckle up I've had a few.
It's got props, real airplanes have them.
Just picture it sitting in your driveway.
You're right--guess I'll have to leave you behind
We're not qualified to fly anything larger.
It's not the size of the airplane that matters, It's how many times you go in and out of the airport.
Bigger than your cubicle.
Well, thats to acomodate for your reduced brain size.
Ya I got demoted to this thing after "the incident".
So's your sperm count.
So are your wife's hoo hoo's.
Bend over and I'll show you where we put the wind up key.
Won't seem so small when I shove it up your a$$.
That's exactly what I thought when I saw it the first time.... an hour ago.
Please don't rock the boat. It might sink..
It's bigger than your mobile home!
"It's us, or the bus".
At least its a short walk to the bathroom.
They MAKE airplanes bigger than this?"
Sorry Sir, If we knew you were coming today we'd have ordered you the big plane".
"You're right, which means there'll be less fuel for the post-crash fire".
"Hey, I don't come to your place of employment and comment on how small your office is!"All in one neat package....
Won't seem so small when I shove it up your_ _ _.
Small plane for a small town....
How big is you're plane? sir.
You think this is small... You should see my paycheck!
It doesn't matter how big it is, as long as it has enough thrust...
Pay more for your ticket next time!
Avis Rent-A-Car is downstairs and would be happy to help you out.
Is it bigger than your car?
You ever heard of a little boat hitting an iceberg?"
Well, it's the biggest thing going to Buffalo that doesn't involve you sitting in Newark for four hours. Which would you prefer?
It grows in the air
Its so small we just pretend to fly it
Its a small plane with a great big heart
From the looks of your wife, I really can't argue with ya.
Really? I've never flown an airplane this big before!"
But at least it is very loud
It may be small but at least it is slow
I know, it's not as big as the Greyhound bus your used to riding on, but heck the Ticket cost half as much and we'll get you there 10 times faster
There are two things you never tell a man is small. One of them is his airplane.
They are standing too far away.
But I wear big shoes and big gloves
How about buckle up I've had a few.
It's got props, real airplanes have them.
Just picture it sitting in your driveway.
You're right--guess I'll have to leave you behind
We're not qualified to fly anything larger.
It's not the size of the airplane that matters, It's how many times you go in and out of the airport.
Bigger than your cubicle.
Well, thats to acomodate for your reduced brain size.
Ya I got demoted to this thing after "the incident".
So's your sperm count.
So are your wife's hoo hoo's.
Bend over and I'll show you where we put the wind up key.
Won't seem so small when I shove it up your a$$.
That's exactly what I thought when I saw it the first time.... an hour ago.
Please don't rock the boat. It might sink..
It's bigger than your mobile home!
"It's us, or the bus".
At least its a short walk to the bathroom.
They MAKE airplanes bigger than this?"
Sorry Sir, If we knew you were coming today we'd have ordered you the big plane".
"You're right, which means there'll be less fuel for the post-crash fire".
"Hey, I don't come to your place of employment and comment on how small your office is!"All in one neat package....
We were going from RDU to JFK one afternoon in a emb-135. Some lady comments how small the plane is. I pointed to the 777 two gates down and told her that one's going to JFK too. Just as she got this look in her eye like, cool, maybe I can get on the big plane, I explained that it connected through Gatwick and it would arrive in JFK sometime tomorrow night. Crushed, she turned around and took her seat.
Last edited:
embraerfa
Member
- Joined
- Mar 7, 2004
- Posts
- 7
I actually enjoy it when Pax come on a say this plane is small. Keeps me on my toes with come backs.
Here are a few I've used/wished I could use.
Pax: OMG this its so small!
Reply:
"You get what you pay for"
"Just dont look down when you flush the toilet"
"Thats what Payne Stewart said!"
"Sorry to bother you. but do you have a credit card to help pay for gas?"
"The plane or your brain?"
saying "thats not avery nice thing to say" while glancing down at my crotch
"It might be small but it hits all the right places"
"We might not have PTV's in every seat but at least the captains flying skills will keep you entertained"
"Dont worry, as long as you dont make any sudden movements you wont upset the plane"
"Pretend to have a real job and this is your own private jet"
"We might not get you high but at least youll get a buzz"
"We can rebook you on the 250am 767 flight through ATL if you like...."
"No soup for you!"
DRW
Here are a few I've used/wished I could use.
Pax: OMG this its so small!
Reply:
"You get what you pay for"
"Just dont look down when you flush the toilet"
"Thats what Payne Stewart said!"
"Sorry to bother you. but do you have a credit card to help pay for gas?"
"The plane or your brain?"
saying "thats not avery nice thing to say" while glancing down at my crotch
"It might be small but it hits all the right places"
"We might not have PTV's in every seat but at least the captains flying skills will keep you entertained"
"Dont worry, as long as you dont make any sudden movements you wont upset the plane"
"Pretend to have a real job and this is your own private jet"
"We might not get you high but at least youll get a buzz"
"We can rebook you on the 250am 767 flight through ATL if you like...."
"No soup for you!"
DRW
Stifler's Mom
MILF...MILF...MILF
- Joined
- Oct 12, 2003
- Posts
- 5,125
Crossky
A Gentleman and a bother
- Joined
- Sep 23, 2004
- Posts
- 406
All good responses, but the best one IMO is:
"It may be small, but it's the biggest airplane I've flown, so please sit down and buckle your seat belt"
You see, if you reinforce their fears, they get what they deserve for not trusting in your superior pilot skills . . .
This is why majors prefer pilots who have the 'look' and the 'voice' of confidence, command, and safety, in order to put pax at ease; even if they're A-holes or ego freaks. Anyone know how to teach me the 'look' and the 'voice'? ;0
"It may be small, but it's the biggest airplane I've flown, so please sit down and buckle your seat belt"
You see, if you reinforce their fears, they get what they deserve for not trusting in your superior pilot skills . . .
This is why majors prefer pilots who have the 'look' and the 'voice' of confidence, command, and safety, in order to put pax at ease; even if they're A-holes or ego freaks. Anyone know how to teach me the 'look' and the 'voice'? ;0
CapnVegetto
The Prince of all Saiyans
- Joined
- Mar 24, 2005
- Posts
- 1,981
Passenger: Wow, this is a small plane.
Me: Wow, that is a small d-ck.
Passenger: This plane is so small!!
Me: Soon as you figure out how to put 50 people on a 747 and make money, they'll get bigger.
Passenger: This plane is small!
Me: Shut the f-ck up and sit the f-ck down. And while you're at it, I'll go get you a spoon so you can eat my a$$.
Me: Wow, that is a small d-ck.
Passenger: This plane is so small!!
Me: Soon as you figure out how to put 50 people on a 747 and make money, they'll get bigger.
Passenger: This plane is small!
Me: Shut the f-ck up and sit the f-ck down. And while you're at it, I'll go get you a spoon so you can eat my a$$.
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