Who is the biggest loser you have flown with?

[Huggyu2]

What's wrong with no outside interests other than aviation?? I consider it a blessing. Maybe you should try:
ultralights (many varieties);
warbirds (neat folks there, too);
experimentals/homebuilts.
Lots of social stuff, great trips, great people.
Don't knock having hobbies that are all aviation related. After all, didn't you get into aviation because you loved it? I hope so, 'cause you probably ain't gettin' rich on it.

 

[fokkers&beer]

Oh how we all miss TRC; the unipilot.
We had this one captain based in SEA who dropped his lunch on the sandy, disgusting ramp in JNU. His sandwich was then soggy, and covered in sand.
The next leg the FO went out to check the back door, and came up front to see the Captain eating lunch. Not much was thought of it untill the next leg.
When the FO opened his lunch he found a dirty, soggy, sandy sandwich.
The FO asked WTF?, the captain denied changing sandwiches.
That guy was a real piece of work.

 

[gordon24]

Okay, I'll throw mine out there:

1. Capt. that reaches for the gear handle and sits there with his/her hand on it until you say "Gear down". I usually wait until the last possible second just to piss them off.

2. Going in to a busy airport in a citation and it's clear and million and the guy decides to configure and slow to Ref +10 at about 12 miles out. Same guy figures he better configure at glideslope intercept even though approach cleared us at a higher altitude than normal. So, again, the marker is still 5-6 miles away.

3. Same dipsh#t decides to ask for lower because the FMS says it's time to go down based on the "expected" altitudes on the Star. Problem is we are going into a feeder aiport which is 20 miles or so past the main airport that the Star is built for. I have to remind him/her that it's just an expected, not a required.

Whew...off my soapbox now.

 

[rchcfi]

A couple of months ago, I was in Spokane to retrieve our jet from the shop. We were sitting in the FBO just before sun up and saw this young kid sitting in there doing his flight planning. No big deal right?

Well, as we're strapping ourselves in our Citation (in our jeans, 20 year old sneakers, and Iron Maiden t-shirts), this guy walks by in his blue polo shirt tucked into his Khaki shorts with penny loafers. He is hauling a hard sided flight case, wearing a $1,500 "pilot watch", and wearing his $200 Serengettis (the sun still hasn't risen). We both watch as he climbs into a ratty old C-402 for his next run, and we both start cracking up.

 

[AV8OR]

Thats my #1 Pet Peeve....

That and calling the field in sight without asking the PF if he has it in sight....

That's pretty good there T. I agree with both.

Incedentally, I wonder how many of you guys that have posted have actually flown together.

Ya know the hat thing always comes up doesn't it. Some hate it and some love it I guess. The only animosity seems to be from the hat haters towards the hat lovers. Never really understood that.

Also, and hey, I'm just wonderin, cause I wore jeans and t-shirts back when I could, if you can wear what you want, why rag on the guy just he doesn't conform to your standard. If he or she's a professional, who cares?

Oh yeah, biggest loser....

Eagle Capt. who thought he could just skip the before start checklist ( or whatever it's called on an ATR) because, in his words, "Didn't you just preflight the cockpit?" Uh yeah, my side. Stellar.

 

[Geronimo4497]

I allways wear my hat when I have my "uniform" on.........although it's either a Red Sox or ExxonMobil Aviation hat......


I LOVE FLYING CORPORATE

 

[CapnVegetto]

Originally Posted by T-Gates
Biggest Losers I have run into....

4. Same FO, who decided it was appropriate cockpit conversation to talk about how he only likes to have anal sex.



Is your copilot names Shalam?

 

[CapnVegetto]

Hell, I've got a few of these.

I'm a brand new LR-25 FO, maybe 40 hours in the airplane, 1400 TT, and I'm flying with this Riddle captain whom I've been warned about prior to the trip. We're positioning to Blythville, AR, to pick up some pax and take them somewhere. Ugly IFR, plane is empty, I'm flying. I'm procedure turn outbound on an NDB approach when said captain looks at me and says, "Hey, I have no idea where we are." At first I thought he was kidding, testing me, whatever.....so I pointed to him on the plate where we are, and explain it to him. He then says something like, "Oh wow, thanks. I sure am glad you knew." I almost pi$$ed myself. Over the next bit, I discovered that this guy didn't know his a$$ from a hole in the ground.

Another f-ing tool I flew with at Mesa, this guy had a voicemail on his phone that was something like this: "Hello, this is Captain (last name) with Mesa Airlines. I'm probably flying my regional jet right now so leave a message after the beep." First time I heard this, I probably called it about 20 times and played it for everyone around me, who proceeded to laugh their a$$es off with me.

 

[AZ Typed]

Okay, I'll throw mine out there:

1. Capt. that reaches for the gear handle and sits there with his/her hand on it until you say "Gear down". I usually wait until the last possible second just to piss them off.

HA HA HA ...AMEN! (sounds so familiar)

 

[CapnVegetto]

HA HA HA ...AMEN! (sounds so familiar)

yep......I HATED that as a copilot too. Just put down the f-ing flaps/gear and shut the f up!!! Complain if it's unsafe, offer suggestions, but no, I am not a carbon f-ing copy of you!!

 

[AZ Typed]

yep......I HATED that as a copilot too. Just put down the f-ing flaps/gear and shut the f up!!! Complain if it's unsafe, offer suggestions, but no, I am not a carbon f-ing copy of you!!

ROFLMAO - exactly!!!

Cheers my friend!

 

[AV8OR]

yep......I HATED that as a copilot too. Just put down the f-ing flaps/gear and shut the f up!!! Complain if it's unsafe, offer suggestions, but no, I am not a carbon f-ing copy of you!!

T-Gates it appears you have hit a nerve. That's hillarious.

 

[siouxicide]

AV8OR, I'm not sure if you're following us here. It's not that a pilot wearing his hat is a bad thing, it's WHY he wears it and WHEN he wears it that makes him a tool. We're mocking the nerd with the massive inferiority complex that just HAS to show the WHOLE WORLD he's a pilot 24/7, because he thinks that by being a pilot he is the supreme king. It's hilarious to watch these guys tell everyone what they do for a living without anyone asking. Or how they slide their line of work into a conversation, albeit completely irrelevant to any part of the conversation. People that don't have this problem see right through it and it's hard not to want to beat some sense into them cause it gives the rest of us a bad name.
And as far as the attire not conforming...if the reasoning is again due to the above, he's gonna get ripped on. End of story.

 

[DC8 Flyer]

This is directed to the above poster





SIOUX SUCK! GO BISON

 

[AZ Typed]

T-Gates...I think we've flown with the same "page-o'shamers" at the same east coast airport with the worst ground controllers known to the industy...ha!

 

[AV8OR]

AV8OR, I'm not sure if you're following us here. It's not that a pilot wearing his hat is a bad thing, it's WHY he wears it and WHEN he wears it that makes him a tool. We're mocking the nerd with the massive inferiority complex that just HAS to show the WHOLE WORLD he's a pilot 24/7, because he thinks that by being a pilot he is the supreme king. It's hilarious to watch these guys tell everyone what they do for a living without anyone asking. Or how they slide their line of work into a conversation, albeit completely irrelevant to any part of the conversation. People that don't have this problem see right through it and it's hard not to want to beat some sense into them cause it gives the rest of us a bad name.
And as far as the attire not conforming...if the reasoning is again due to the above, he's gonna get ripped on. End of story.

Well, I know some guys do this, and I'll grant ya, it's a little sad, but, that said, unless the guy's a jerk on top of it, I'd probably cut em some slack if they can "carry the mail" in the cockpit.....even if they are a goob. Goob's in the eye of the beholder anyway.

I've just seen an awful lot of uniform bashing on the forum at times cause we're just "freight pilots" and, while I guess it may be corny at times, I think that sometimes we've got to "market" ourselves to our own management to say "Hey, we're by-God professionals and if you need to see epaulets and a hat down at corporate to justify the contract then so be it. Just pay the coin and I'll wear a red rubber ball on the end of my nose." Whatever ya wear, when ya wear it as a professional, just wear it sharp if possible. We got enough people who think we're overpaid jack-asses as it is.

When I'm God it'll be Wranglers and ropers, and you'll be able to go from the cockpit to the corral, to the honky tonk non-stop.

 

[FlierDude]

.
A guy in the R/C club where I fly (known him for years) is the CP for a local company, hands out his business card to everybody. Who cares?



.

 

[I'm42]

A "captain" (only usable because he was single pilot) that would sit ready reserve and when he didn't go anywhere (majority of the time) he would go down the field to wrench 172s......in his dry cleaned, well startched uniform!!....never put his mechanic suit on and never took his tie off.

This same guy (on a day off) put on his uniform to go to his townhouse association party and claimed/complained that he didn't have time to change before it started.

 

[avoidingmyboss]

What are you saying? That the CP drove a drunk pilot to the airport and then the CP flew the guys run for the pilot, then the pilot drove the car back to base and got busted for DUI? That's sad...how much would cab fare have been?

No the CP drove the pilot from a party to the airport to fly his run. (The pilot was too drunk to drive). No wait the guy drove to the airport from the party then got a DUI after roughing up the suspect. No wait he went flying first the got a DUI while roughing up the suspect.

Somebody please pass me some water my I’m thirsty and I have the munchies,

 

[PowerCurve]

Biggest Loser:

Flew the Frankenbeech at the time BE1900D for a midwest commuter. This was back in the late 90's...

Captain was on "forced reserve" by management because if he had a line every single copilor would call in sick on his line. I was on reserve so was forced to fly with him.

Wore his hat AND headset in the car, was seen at a gas station this way, too.

Made up HIS OWN checklist responses to the "before start" checklist.
FO: Battery
Captain: XX Volts
This guy... "Ship's Battery XX volts and ready for turning
and showing a good charge"

Unpinned his wings off of his uniform blazer and wore them on his leather pilot jacket to bars. WITH flight bag. I think he even pulled his epaulets off and stuck those on, too.

Carried this little duffle bag o' goods under his feet with binoculars, an A.M. radio station guide for the ADF, and a camera. He would suddenly swing the camera your way and snap a shot of you without even asking.

He sweated profusely and would use sani-coms to swab his bald head and fatty neck. He smelled, too.

Had to fly a few charters with him and he said, after he did the takeoff "you can have the rest of this leg". Like it was a gift. Told me, "The charter passengers will want to see the Captain fly" on the way home, to placate me, said "Hey, if you want to get in a couple of steep turns, go ahead!" What?? You're kidding, right?

Claimed United Airlines would hire him as soon as he got an interview because when he was 5 years old, he had written them a letter saying he wanted more than anything to work for UAL. They had written him back saying he was welcome to have a job when he had the qualifications. As far as he was concerned, that letter was his "guarantee" of a job. No kidding... he planned on going to the interview and handing them that letter and saying,
"I'd like my job now"

I actually jumped for joy when I heard he had been hired at a small jet airline in the midwest! Woo-Hoo!

Lo-hooo-hoooo-ser!

 

[PCL_128]

Wow, I don't think anybody can top that one.

 

[Workin'Stiff]

LMAO!!!! That was brutal....

 

[siouxicide]

DC8, I guess I had that one comin. haha Here's one for ya....
Q:What's the difference between a NDSU cheerleader and an elephant???
A:About 50 lbs.
Q:How do you make them equal?
A:Force-feed the elephant.


Powercurve, you gotta be kidding!! Are you sure that guy wasn't "special"? I'd hate to be the guy that hired him.

 

[AV8OR]

Biggest Loser:

Flew the Frankenbeech at the time BE1900D for a midwest commuter. This was back in the late 90's...

Captain was on "forced reserve" by management because if he had a line every single copilor would call in sick on his line. I was on reserve so was forced to fly with him.

Wore his hat AND headset in the car, was seen at a gas station this way, too.

Made up HIS OWN checklist responses to the "before start" checklist.
FO: Battery
Captain: XX Volts
This guy... "Ship's Battery XX volts and ready for turning
and showing a good charge"

Unpinned his wings off of his uniform blazer and wore them on his leather pilot jacket to bars. WITH flight bag. I think he even pulled his epaulets off and stuck those on, too.

Carried this little duffle bag o' goods under his feet with binoculars, an A.M. radio station guide for the ADF, and a camera. He would suddenly swing the camera your way and snap a shot of you without even asking.

He sweated profusely and would use sani-coms to swab his bald head and fatty neck. He smelled, too.

Had to fly a few charters with him and he said, after he did the takeoff "you can have the rest of this leg". Like it was a gift. Told me, "The charter passengers will want to see the Captain fly" on the way home, to placate me, said "Hey, if you want to get in a couple of steep turns, go ahead!" What?? You're kidding, right?

Claimed United Airlines would hire him as soon as he got an interview because when he was 5 years old, he had written them a letter saying he wanted more than anything to work for UAL. They had written him back saying he was welcome to have a job when he had the qualifications. As far as he was concerned, that letter was his "guarantee" of a job. No kidding... he planned on going to the interview and handing them that letter and saying,
"I'd like my job now"

I actually jumped for joy when I heard he had been hired at a small jet airline in the midwest! Woo-Hoo!

Lo-hooo-hoooo-ser!

Holy smokes! That-is-Incredible. That's one of the most distgustingly hillarious things I have ever heard. I dare anyone to try and top that. Don't think it's possible. Thanks for sharing.

 

[Gulfstream 200]

yeah that one wins.

dear god I hope you made it up.

 

[Way2Broke]

Man I started this thread thinking I had it bad, that blows goats dude.

 

[Flyin Tony]

fo who on weekends and off duty puts on full uniform hat included and goes shopping at wal-mart to pick up chicks

HAHAHAHAH LMFAO

 

[kingaira90]

one for you

Biggest Losers I have run into....

3. FO I had, who upon finding out I called in fatigued and told dispatch that we would go to the hotel at the next station, decided to call them back behind my back and tell them I changed my mind. Just so we could reposition to a place with better strip clubs.

4. Same FO, who decided it was appropriate cockpit conversation to talk about how he only likes to have anal sex.

5. Same FO yet again who would take a good 40-45 minutes to get downstairs at the hotel when we have a 20 minute callout.

A theme with this guy. Maybe the 40-45 min to the lobby was due to the in room pay per view activity? You did deprive him of the better strip clubs ;-)




6. Multiple FO's that ask why I don't want to go to a major.....when finding out I wanted to fly for UPS/FDX, etc.....WTFO!?

Wow. Gotten that one from people after they ask what I do for a living, not someone actually in aviation though.






Had a fellow FO at a company I work for that would wear his uniform shirt and pants (minus epaulets I believe) on a saturday night date with his new gf. When someone pulled him to the side and said wtf, his reply was "just trying to get laid".

He was also a gem that would tell you without you asking that he was typed in the c-500 just before producing his certificate, with a concocted story about how this was possible. In reality he bought it and had no time associated with the type. His total time would vary by hundreds of hours depending on who he was talking to (600-1400hrs), 600 ballpark was correct.

He would also tell stories about when he was a cop and all of the investigations he was on and all the excitement, had to retire b/c he had seen too much (he was 19 or 20 at the time). In reality he was a "reserve" volunteer officer for the local small town police force (the type that do extra security at big local events). An overall tool that liked to talk about his fabricated reality.

Annoying at the time but funny to look back on.

 

[PowerCurve]

It's sad but true. Every word of it. Anyone who used to work at my old commuter will instantly recognize who it was.

I'm sure I could try to remember more, but I have chosen to try to forget! At least it was good fodder for airline interviews when they say, "Have you ever had a conflict with a Captain?'

 

[TIGV]

Had a skipper freeze up on a tower assigned Go-Round, given at 300ft AGL on the ILS 12R into Lambert, was my leg, ended up doing the radio and everything else myself, he didn't say a word just took the transfer after touchdown, taxiid in, packed his she-aht and went home, weird.
I mean I've flown with some tools and have myself flown like a tool but that one stands out.