What's the dumbest thing a crew has ever asked or requested?

[kack911]

There's the problem...

This is completely off topic but...for what its worth, J-41 drivers were the coolest sumbitches I ever dispatched. I used to commute to IAD on the mighty 41 every week. I always sat up front with the cockpit door strapped to my back for a brutal 2hr 10min.

I dispatched the last J-41's up to PQI. I remember the 6 of them departing at the same time and flying up there in loose formation.

I miss DH.

The Kack

 

[j41driver]

I miss DH.

Amen! Gotta agree about the J41 guys...we were pretty cool.

 

[405]

Regarding Punchy and Ms Wu: Remember when you started your first real job at age 21 or 22 and you thought you knew everything there was to know about everything after a couple of months? They're just immature kids, that's all. Their posts shouldn't be taken seriously.

 

[crjdxr]

Ok, this was supposed to be a fun thread like the one started in the Regionals forum, but aparently, everybody is way too serious in here.

Had an F/O call me enroute to ask how to fish his cell phone outta the crapper.

Have had numerous calls for scores (Super Bowl Sunday is a riot, followed closely by the NCAA Tourney).

Have taken calls for pizza orders, cheeseburger orders, and various other food items.

Loved listening to the corp. guys talk about the various attributes of their inflight hostesses. Late night cruise flights using our air to ground freq. kept us all smiling. Sure would have loved to have met this Jamie lady they were talking about...she sounded "nice".

 

[RJAA]

I think sports scores are perfectly acceptable for passengers as time permits.

 

[whatfuelpolicy]

Kack,

You should tell the story about the FA that called you expressing his concern about unpressurized flight.

Anywho, I had a FA call me last night demanding that I swap her deadhead flight to another aircraft, because she was tired of waiting for her aircraft to arrive. She couldn't grasp the concept that aircraft are routed to certain places for operational purposes and she continued to complain that she had plans and that she was going to miss out if I didn't do this swap. When i told her no she flipped the hell out and started blaming me for ruining her plans. WTFO?

 

[thunderworm]

i had a night where the dest runway was plowed 60 ft wide with poor ba and remainder ba nil on the runway. dispatcher released us without looking at the wx or notmas which happens a lot. upon calling to discuss changing our dest. the dipatcher said that it would be ok all i had to do was stay on the plowed part and not go into the snow on landing, as if i am that good of a pilot i can control absolutly every possible outcome on landing. btw our ops specs says no operating at an airport if any surfaces ba is reported nill.

all i ask is read the wx and notams as 99% of dispatchers do but if one gets by ya don't try to talk a crew into going anyway.

also before this job no dispatchers, now life is much easier and better.

 

[Lexy]

Captain got selected for random drug test. Called dispatch to ask what he should do because he just went to the bathroom and he didn't have to go now. Was told to go get something to drink and wait until he has to pee!

 

[405]

Two phone calls that I remember well:

"Why don't we get breakfast at the hotel anymore?" This person never stated who he was or what hotel he was talking about. I'm just supposed to know who it is. I don't get breakfast either. Life's tough and I'm hungry too.

"Hey, do my pants need to be cuffed?" Yes, but not at the same time.

 

[ArcticFlier]

Then there was the time a dispatcher tried to send us to FAR with a 30 kt crosswind and braking action poor to nil. Oh yeah............we had a TR deferred.


It goes both ways....................................




AF

 

[homerjdispatch]

Then there was the time a dispatcher tried to send us to FAR with a 30 kt crosswind and braking action poor to nil. Oh yeah............we had a TR deferred.


It goes both ways....................................




AF

oops....sorry!!!

Just kidding, it wasn't me, I PROMISE!!!

 

[ArcticFlier]

oops....sorry!!!

Just kidding, it wasn't me, I PROMISE!!!

Hey, no harm no foul. It was a last minute swap into the aircraft, and everyone was swamped. I'm just glad it was caught before we launched.



AF

 

[Flys4Fun]

CA: "Uh yeah hi for flight XXX I'd like to get another 1,000 lbs of fuel onboard"

Me: "You don't have your release yet..."

CA: "Well god-dam son, can't we just say like 26.7? We gotta get goin' here soon..."

 

[hoover]

i hate the heavily used, not often needed comfort card.

That whole " I'm not comfortable" bull$hit is nonsense. Captains and Dispatchers are Part 121 professional airmen. They ought to be able to cleary enumerate and weigh the risks associated with each operation. They also ought to be able to convey that information to whomever. If they couldn't they didn't get what they wanted. If I couldn't then the flight got released.

 

[405]

Comfort fuel. What a concept.

Hell, I wish I had a comfortable chair to sit in at work. Nevermind doing 50 or 60 releases a day due to sick calls and turnover and central load control while management breathes down my neck about using "so much fuel". I love my job this much: make the "okay" symbol with your right hand. Note index finger and thumb position. That's how much I like it.

Edit: Yes, I am looking to get out so don't even ask.