What's the dumbest question you've been asked as a pilot?

[Mr Wu]

While getting a coffee at the buffet this morning, some old fart thanked me for bringing his suitcase to the hotel during the night.

 

[Turtlesfly]

I was jumpseating (in uniform) in the back of the plane from ORD - PDX, and after about 3 hours into the flight everybody is getting excited to get off the plane . . .

well after just waking up from a nap, I had to use the lav, and when I came out of the lav (in the rear of the plane, mind you) a man asks where we are and when are we going to land. With a straight face I told him, "I have no idea." and returned to my seat . . . I didn't feel bad leaving him panicked becasue the man who asked me was sitting next to me the whole flight.

Hello?

 

[C172gal05]

"That's your car? I thought pilots made a lot of money?"

Thats the best one!! lol

 

[C172gal05]

Some people might not get this much but I have before....

Wait....women fly?

 

[smellthejeta]

Some people might not get this much but I have before....

Wait....women fly?

I was once upon a time dealing with an inbound challenger. This drop dead gorgeous brunette walks up to me in a sleeveless red top and black pants. She hands me a list of galley items as well as a pair of chocks (wtf for, i donno). When I returned to the a/c with the items, there was a gentleman standing in the galley. I asked him where the FA was, 'cause I had some question about dishes or whatever. He insisted that he was the FA. After a little back and forth, I asked him, "Do you mean to tell me that the drop dead gorgeous woman I spoke to a few minutes ago is the pilot?" Sure 'nuff. She poked her head out of the cockpit and we both had a good laugh.

I've worked for some very busy FBO's, and there still are very, very few female pilots.

 

[cfi76]

Standing in the hotel lobby in MSP I was asked by a man how to get to the airport from the hotel. The van driver was standing a few feet from me asking who was going to the airport on the shuttle.

 

[Powda5]

Elderly woman deplaning an ATR onto a jetbridge, "I'm so glad you got rid of those propeller airplanes. I hated going outside."

Dive and drive to a mountain airport in snow and icing down to mins...upon deplaning and with a fully disgusted look a passenger says, "I don't know what you thought you were doing with the engines--all we heard was up and down with the engine!" (Um, yeah steep stepdowns 2-3000 fpm..the only flight to get in in the last hour and rolled it on--but thanks, I'll call the training dept right away)

FO standing in line at grocery store (food-stop on van to hotel) and an elderly woman behind him says, "OH! YOU work at McDONALDS!" and smiles, proud that she recognized the uniform. "uh HUH," the FO replies dejectedly.

"When I saw you I thought for sure we were going to crash," From a passenger as he deplaned. Why would you board a plane thinking you were going to crash? Is that a smart thing to say?

"Do you like being a flight attendant?" love it.

F/A calls up enroute to tell me a passenger insisted that she tell us we were going the wrong way. um....o....K.

A passenger comes up after a flight where we had held for an hour in the penalty box for a gate at ORD. He has an airport diagram and points to the penalty box, asking how we taxxied (which is ok, I guess), but then he said, "Oh, so what did you guys do to get put in the penalty box?" He really thought it was like a hockey-style penalty box!

People are funny...I am sure we have asked our own share of 'dumb' questions, too!

 

[smellthejeta]

A passenger comes up after a flight where we had held for an hour in the penalty box for a gate at ORD. He has an airport diagram and points to the penalty box, asking how we taxxied (which is ok, I guess), but then he said, "Oh, so what did you guys do to get put in the penalty box?" He really thought it was like a hockey-style penalty box!

People are funny...I am sure we have asked our own share of 'dumb' questions, too!

Sht, that was more funny than stupid. Thanks for the laugh!

 

[HighNightFlyer]

While standing at the bottom of the Metroliner stairs I was asked if I was really a pilot. I replied, "No, but I play one on TeeVee," in my best theatric voice. That passenger didn't get it but the guy after him laughed.

A few years before, at the gas station in uniform, was asked to fill 'er up by a little old man.

Now I fly freight so only my neighbors ask me when I'll get a real job flying people.

HNF

 

[nonstop]

"How do I become a pilot?"

 

[CA1900]

A few years before, at the gas station in uniform, was asked to fill 'er up by a little old man.

If you center it just right and pump slowly, you can make the Diesel hose fill up a gasoline car.

 

[Boxav8r]

I've got a couple

One morning, about 0200 in the lobby of the Brunswick Hilton, I was waiting for the F/O while standing and talking to the Capt. A Porsche Carrera pulls up, and the guy gets out, walks in the lobby, and hands me the keys while asking me to park it. I told him I'd be happy to, and that I expected to be back in about 2 weeks. Would that be fine with him? After about 3 seconds of standing there with his mouth opened, he realized his mistake and apologized.

I've been asked for directions to the airport long term parking lot while standing in a ticket line. This lady was mad that I didn't know the answer.

I too, often get the "What route do you fly".

And of course, my favorite: Are you building time for a real airline job? My answer: No, I like FedEx better because we have smarter passengers.

************************************
I swear this is true, though I was not asked the question. (I heard it with my own eyes!) I was dead heading out of SLC. Shortly after rotation, the lady in the seat in front of me rang her F/A call button. (Probably between 500 and 1000 agl) The F/A, thinking something was wrong, immediately went to the passenger and asked what she wanted. The lady, just as calmly as if she was sitting in her living room asked the F/A, "What lake is that?" while pointing out the window at The Great Salt Lake.... duh.
F/A: "You're kidding right?
Pax: "No."
F/A: "If you ring that call button again, you'd better be having a heart attack".

************************************
The four phases of flying:

• Paying to fly
• Flying for free
• Getting paid to fly
• Getting paid NOT to fly

 

[Steveair]

All by the same moron while I was dead heading...


"Do you fly the Canadian Air Regional Jet?"

"Whoa! Are we pulling G's???"

"What's that light on the wing for?"

 

[CapnVegetto]

You know, there's a deer season, duck season, rabbit season, etc......why can't we have a stupid people season? For about 3 months out of the year, whenever you see someone that is stupid, you can just shoot 'em. That would be nice.

 

[Blucher]

But then who would run the airlines and collect all those golden parachutes?:uzi:

 

[suupah]

while working at applebees (the second job)

Why do you work here if you are a pilot. Aren't you rich?

 

[DDpaysoff]

1. "Why are we delayed to Boston?" Weather. "What do they not have lights on the runway or something?"

2. I overheard a pax say this to a F/A during boarding, "Who did you piss off at Delta to fly this thing?"

3. If I had a dime for everytime I heard this one, "Don't you get scared flying around those planes up in the sky?"

4. "Are these propeller planes safe?" Keep in mind we were on a jet.

5. "Why is this flight always late?" I said, Welcome to New York.

6. One of my non-flying freinds call me up. "Hey, when are you going to be in Jacksonville again, my new girlfriend has a hot friend who loves guys with cash.

7. "Weather delay, yeah right, there is not a cloud in the sky"

8. Another non flying freind of mine gets on a delta connection chautaqua plane down in Lauderdale and asks the flight attendant if she knew me. He said, "he flies those delta planes". She must have assumed mainline and says, "no that's where they send the good pilots."

9. Do we have enough fuel for this?

10. I was in the laundry room at my apartment complex chatting with some guy waiting for our laundry to finish. He said, so what do you do. I'm a pilot, I fly. He had this blank stare on his face and said, "and you live here, I thought you guys made a ton of money"

Some thug looking guy in indy once asked me, how do you become a pilot? Do you get to smoke pot still?

 

[CapnVegetto]

1. "Why are we delayed to Boston?" Weather. "What do they not have lights on the runway or something?"

2. I overheard a pax say this to a F/A during boarding, "Who did you piss off at Delta to fly this thing?"

3. If I had a dime for everytime I heard this one, "Don't you get scared flying around those planes up in the sky?"

4. "Are these propeller planes safe?" Keep in mind we were on a jet.

5. "Why is this flight always late?" I said, Welcome to New York.

6. One of my non-flying freinds call me up. "Hey, when are you going to be in Jacksonville again, my new girlfriend has a hot friend who loves guys with cash.

7. "Weather delay, yeah right, there is not a cloud in the sky"

8. Another non flying freind of mine gets on a delta connection chautaqua plane down in Lauderdale and asks the flight attendant if she knew me. He said, "he flies those delta planes". She must have assumed mainline and says, "no that's where they send the good pilots."

9. Do we have enough fuel for this?

10. I was in the laundry room at my apartment complex chatting with some guy waiting for our laundry to finish. He said, so what do you do. I'm a pilot, I fly. He had this blank stare on his face and said, "and you live here, I thought you guys made a ton of money"

Some thug looking guy in indy once asked me, how do you become a pilot? Do you get to smoke pot still?

Regarding #6......one word.....

LIE!!!

 

[DDpaysoff]

Oh, I forgot one. "How do you take-off in the snow?"

 

[scottn2flying]

bump......