Two Pilot Marriages

[Rez O. Lewshun]

1. Noone said you don't need to be at home with them. That's why you bid opposite schedules.

Then what's the point if you are never together? "I got married so I can be apart from my spouse?" And what's the point of having kids, unless you drop your flying like Flyunited has stated...

2. SORRY.....what makes you right and others wrong when you say a parent absolutely must stay at home with the kids. I told you....my father wasn't around and my mother had to work to feed me. What is your answer to that? I got unconditional love and my mom worked.

Why have kids if you aren't going to be around? One of my parents wasn't around either, but that is not what we are talking about. We are talking about the conscience choice to have kids then not be around as often as one could... why? What is better than spending time with kids? And if one would rather do something else beside spending time with kids, then why have them?

3. Just because someone wants a career and kids does not mean they want to "sound cool" saying they are an airline pilot. That's stupid. What do you suggest the answer is when you have kids, quit your flying job and then the sole provider dies in a car accident? What do you do to provide then? Oh yeah, you are screwed!

Huh? Again the point. One spouse is working and making enough income to live comfortably. They have kids... The other spouse works. Income not needed. Why work when the choice was made to have kids?

4. Once again, I don't know why you say one wants to have kids and then "hit the road". You bid opposite schedules so one spouse is with the kids 24/7. I don't know what your beef with this is.

Because this isn't a family.. it is tag team parenting! What is the point?

5. Two pilots having kids does not tell them their careers are more important than them. That's bull. Kids do need love and nurture...however, dropping everything in the world and not teaching them that the world does not only revolve around them is not good either. That's why we have the instant gratification and it's all about me generation.

Nice spin. Doesn't work. Try explaining this to a 0-15 year old...

6. Bottom line is you have your opinion and we have ours. Mind your own business and I will mind mine.

I thought we were debating. Didn't realize I was intruding in your business. Don't offer your opinions and I won't get all up in your kitchen.

 

[Rez O. Lewshun]

This is a little dramatic. Besides, you yourself are away from the family because you chose to fly. One can say you are selfish too. If you are home on your days off with the entire family, how is it different if 2 pilots bid opposite schedules? One is always home and there are overlapping days when they are both home?

Stay on target. This isn't about one spouse pilot flying trips. One income has to be made to pay the house note. Do you want to debate that all pilots shouldn't have kids. I don't.

I already mentioned tag team parenting... It is done by some...

 

[Rez O. Lewshun]

Give me a break!

So my dad beat my mom when he was drunk. Should she have just stayed because she made a committment? You are so out of touch with reality it's not even funny. You cannot control what someone else does! Your wonderful "partner" can change! People change!

I do think people are marry too quickly these days but you want someone to stay in a miserable marriage "for the kids"? Kids are not stupid and will see through this. They will not be better off this way.

Quit spinning. We are not talking about abusive parents or husbands. Why is the divorce rate now 50%?

So much for mature decion making when choosing a spouse. Doesn't matter you can always get divocred later.

I don't think people should stay miserable, but they should do all they can to stay happy. Opting for a divocre is to common. Explain the divorce rate and the impact it has on kids...

 

[Rez O. Lewshun]

I also don't buy into Rez's theory that children should feel like the most important person in the world. I've met these people that believe that about themselves on the planes...it's not a pretty sight. Children, imho, should be taught that they are AN important part of their family and society, that they are not entitled to anything and must work hard to be productive citizens. They should know that they have the priviledge of being an American and should give back to this country for the rights they enjoy.

None of us are 'the most important person in the world' and none of us should teach our children that they are either.

If it isn't bored house wives addicted to pills its parents that treat their kids like royalty.

My point... spending time away from kids when it is not needed rather wanted is concerning. It basically says my wants are greater than your needs.

But thats the debate... do kids really need thier parents....

 

[Rez O. Lewshun]

So all I ask is for you to recognize that maybe some pilot couples know what they are doing with their kids. And maybe they are doing exactly what you want for the world's children just not doing it your way. It's just a suggestion. Think about it.

Anybody ask the kids what they would prefer?

Also, it seems to me that you don't have that good an opinion of pilots which makes me sad since that translates to the fact that you don't have that good an opinion of yourself in regards to your career. I knew I guy like you who was so disillusioned with this industry and unable to get out and start again that he didn't have much respect for other pilots. Now, I am playing mental health expert. It's just seems this way to me.

There is noway you can try and mind map me based on moniker screen names on a message board. You should know better...

 

[Rez O. Lewshun]

REZ..You are confusing me. Why are you a pilot?????

Because I have to pay the house note, feed my family and put clothes on them. That is why? Got a problem with that?

If I became a single parent I'd stop flying.

 

[lifeguard]

My point... spending time away from kids when it is not needed rather wanted is concerning. It basically says my wants are greater than your needs.

REZ, Again I ask you why you are choosing to be a pilot? You are choosing to be away from your family. Why did you have kids knowing you have to be away from them?

 

[capt. megadeth]

Ok....I am outta here.

 

[Rez O. Lewshun]

My point... spending time away from kids when it is not needed rather wanted is concerning. It basically says my wants are greater than your needs.

REZ, Again I ask you why you are choosing to be a pilot? You are choosing to be away from your family. Why did you have kids knowing you have to be away from them?

Again...that is not the arguement. Do you want to debate that no pilot should have kids cause they are gone on trips? What about other professions? Sales, train conductor, etc...

 

[FlyUnited]

Rez,

All due respect. But that is exactly what it sounds like your posts are saying. You have stated, over and over, that kids want BOTH parents to be home. (Mr Obvious says "doh") So why don't you go apply over at the local WalMart and give the kid exactly what he wants? Or better, apply over at Publix as a stockboy at night. Then you will be free all day to play with the little guy.

 

[Rez O. Lewshun]

Rez,

All due respect. But that is exactly what it sounds like your posts are saying. You have stated, over and over, that kids want BOTH parents to be home. (Mr Obvious says "doh") So why don't you go apply over at the local WalMart and give the kid exactly what he wants? Or better, apply over at Publix as a stockboy at night. Then you will be free all day to play with the little guy.

Because that is not the discussion.

I have moral, legal, financial and ethical obligations to go to work and generate income. You don't.

This isn't a discussion about pilots who don't do day trips shouldn't be parents.

Let's be blunt: You had rather spent less time with your kids and go to work instead. You didn't need the money. It is not a food shelter clothing issue. It is a me-ism issue. I don't know what else to call it....

At least have some integrity and admit that.....

Parents choose thier kids, but kids don't choose thier parents.

 

[Rez O. Lewshun]

Some women really want to be home, and for that I applaud them. I never really wanted to have kids but he wanted them a lot. So he had to be willing to accept the sacrifices that he would have to make. He did GREAT!!! And the kids are healthy, happy and still costing me a TON OF MONEY!

Kinda says it all right there.... your kids know this?

 

[FlyUnited]

LOL....it's a "legal" issue? Why is it a "legal" issue for you but not for me?

Like Mega said, enough. You've proven exactly what type of ignorant person you are and I just hope your enormously happy wife never chooses to boot you to the curb because you are obviously unable to take any route except the route you've chosen for all of us.

Gosh, I sure hope that kid doesn't come home from school one day, dressed in his goth outfit with a nipple piercing to match his tongue. Who would you blame then? Probably your wife. Ugghhh, poor girl. Tell her to give Mega and me a call, we'll set her straight. Does she ever wear pants?

 

[Rez O. Lewshun]

LOL....it's a "legal" issue? Why is it a "legal" issue for you but not for me?

As the only spouse generating income to pay the house note you want to know why it is a legal issue for me? I guess when all your income is descretionary, you don't have real responsibilites at home. But that is a good thing otherwise you'd be..... one of those...............

housewives around the block [who] appear to enjoy mixing the drinks with pills. Oh yes, good to keep her bored to the point that she needs to be trashed everyday to survive. You know the ones, always smiling that Stepford Wife smile as she helps the kiddies paste buttons on pinecones.....as she gulps down a few pills with a vodka straight up. Oh yes, that's good parenting alright.

But then again the burden and sacrifice of raising your kids is on your husband not you.

Your attitudes lead me to believe that most men work to pay the bills and provide for the family while women [like you] who work do it to prove they can. Now I know this isn't true because there are (probably) more women that work very hard and struggle just to put food on the table...

Sounds like you got cush [florida?] life. Husband wanted kids so you said..

I never really wanted to have kids but he wanted them a lot. So he had to be willing to accept the sacrifices that he would have to make.

..........So you fly your trips, drop them when you want or can.. Also, if you stop working for whatever reason the bills are still going to get paid... So basically it seems you get paid to prove you can pee standing up just like the rest of the "guys." With the luxury of knowing you don't have to work and descretionary income, you got yourself a good gig.

Like Mega said, enough. You've proven exactly what type of ignorant person you are and I just hope your enormously happy wife never chooses to boot you to the curb because you are obviously unable to take any route except the route you've chosen for all of us.

So you won't respond to the statments that you made but you'll pity on my wife. You're a gem. Have you ever considered that some women don't need to prove themselves at the expense of thier children. That they actually like playing with children, mentoring them and watching them grow. Some women actually don't think of thier kids as "costing me a TON OF MONEY".

Gosh, I sure hope that kid doesn't come home from school one day, dressed in his goth outfit with a nipple piercing to match his tongue. Who would you blame then? Probably your wife. Ugghhh, poor girl. Tell her to give Mega and me a call, we'll set her straight. Does she ever wear pants?

So now you are trying to type cast "my kid". I thought we were talking about two pilot marriages which is you, not me.

There is a chance my kid will be a goth wierdo with ink and metal in his face.... but at least will be able to say that I wanted him in the first place.

 

[ferlo]

Another pilot has many advangtages...Children is Definately not one of them. One of you will have to quit. I know two pilot moms who found it too difficult and quit.

 

[capt. megadeth]

One of you will have to quit. I know two pilot moms who found it too difficult and quit.

Ok, I said I was outta here but I am back.

I have been told this before..."one of you will have to quit" It's funny though because it's always someone whose wife or husband stay at home with the kids. The 2 pilot couples always say "oh, you definitely can do it". It gets on my nerves when people tell me what I am going to "have" to do. Just because some people can't handle things doesn't mean others can't. It kind of reminds me of the people that said "You want to be a pilot? It's so hard to become a pilot. Do you really want to do it? It's soooo hard to become a pilot". If I would have listened to their weak a## and said "well, it's hard to become one so I might as well not do it", I probably be flipping burgers right now. Things in this world aren't easy folks but just because you can't hack it....doesn't mean someone else can't either.

 

[eddie]

flyunited, your argument doesn't convince me. Sure the 2 pilot thing will work if you can drop your line or each of you can drop to 40 hours. That isn't a 2 pilot household, thats a one pilot household split between two people.

 

[FlyUnited]

No, not exactly. If you both plan to work all the time, then why have a child at all? And not just in aviation, in any field. If you want kids, you need to prioritize your life.

I'm saying, simply, if a woman or man wants to stay home with children, then that person would make a wonderful parent. If one parent is FORCED to stay home because the other one tells them they must, then that is a recipe for disaster.

Anyways, it worked for us and the kids turned out great. I do seem to find it interesting that the most vocal people about forcing women into stay home momhood (made that up myself) usually seem to be the men. I wonder why that is?

 

[capt. megadeth]

I do seem to find it interesting that the most vocal people about forcing women into stay home momhood (made that up myself) usually seem to be the men. I wonder why that is?

It's like men talking about whether abortion should be legal or not. They should have no say in any of it.

 

[woobietail]

I fly corporate and my husband flys for a major and we make it work!! I wouldn't change a thing! We are both understanding of each others schedule!