Rez O. Lewshun said:
rdy4to-
Stick to the arguement. You are switching it around... I agree with your post in that tough times require tough sacrfices. That is not the discussion...
The discussion is a two income household that can do fine with one income, however both parents work becuase they want thier "career", materialism or personal fullfillment.
Your case is different. I am in the same boat a little in that we don't have alot of discretionary income, but I am contributing to my 401k. It does stink when the neighbors say a group of kids are going to.... And we really don't have extra $50 to blow on "fun". But good values and interaction betwen parents and kids trumps $50 any day. Kids don't care what they are doing just as long they are with thier parents.
Putting kids in daycare so you can have a career or freetime or a hobby is BS. Look at our granparents.. what took 20 years to acquire, we demand to have it all now. Social conditioning says a women is worthless unless she is working.
The arguement is parents who choose because of socio-politcal, cultural and materialism formatting to put themselves first before thier kids.
Let's stick to the real arguement. The thread is about can two pilots marry and have kids and have everything turn out good. I've seen it happening for years.
You keep saying when both parents work the kids get the wrong message from the parents. That's the true arguement. Are kids harmed when both parents work? I say no. No matter what "circumstance" exists that has both parents working; what kids want to know is: do my parents love me, do my parents spend quality time with me (not just hanging out at home like some parents do), do my parents do what is right for me, are my parents doing all they can to make sure I'm cared for, do my parents love each other. Come on...kids arent' stupid. They can sense when a parent works to get away from the family and when a parent works because it is something that they are passionate about. It's a great thing to show kids that there is much in life to be passionate about. Let's not teach our kids that only men are allowed to passionate about stuff and women must stay home with the kids, no choice. We are not here just to procreate and live out our lives dedicated to our offspring. Might as well be an animal if that was so. I'm saying you can be passionate about your kids and your flying.
I'm not talking about daycare, you brought that up in another thread. Most two pilot families have a parent home with the child 24hrs a day. A child getting the parent's values all day long. There are the occasions when the schedules over lap and maybe for a couple of hours or one day the child is with a loving caregiver, whether grandparents or other. So what if it's one day. Come on, I'm sure you've used a babysitter before or don't you ever go out with your wife alone? Kids get sent to school where they spend all day listening to other people's values, they spend time at their friends houses listening those people's values. There are many times you are not there, but hopefully you've instilled in your kids what is wrong and what is right and taught them to stand up for themselves and their beliefs. This is not taught just because one parent is home 24/7. This taught through interaction between parents and kids and that' s the crux of everything you are arguing about. Can this be taught when mom doesn't stay home all the time? Come on, I know you and your wife don't agree on everything. I know you've taught your kids what is important and you work. Why is what they are learning from mom any different than what they are learning from you and how is that any different than what other kids are learning from their working pilot parents?
You mention about kids being selfish and how we need to fulfill that need in them until they are mature young adults. What are you talking about? Many problems in this society stem from people thinking they are #1. If you don't teach your kids at a young age to be altruistic they may never be able to think of others before themselves. They don't just become adults and decide to start thinking about the world around them.
On a sidenote, because this is your thinking and I had to say something, in another thread you mention how women should marry in their 20's, go to college while the kids are in school and then launch their careers after the kids are gone. What a scary statement. Be very wary of what kind of world you are advocating here. There are some amazing women who can do what you say, but this is not the path that would really happen. You are advocating that women who do not have any life experience and a high school education raising the future generations of the US. Remember you, the working spouse, is working and not around as much as mom. Look at the countries around the world who treat women this way and be very afraid of what you want. And don't be naive in thinking there is no connection between how a country treats it's women and how the same country's morals are established.
Also, if this is your case and your wife is still trying to get her education, I hope nothing ever happens to you that causes permanent mental disablity because your wife and kids are going to be in a world of hurt. It'd be better if you don't survive the accident and they get the life insurance. Remeber we don't live in an ideal world where everything goes according to plan. I've seen my parents trying to find employment without a college education and that was back then. In this market....
Look sorry for the long post. I realize that you only want what's best for your kids and seems like everybody else's kids, but understand that your way isn't the only way and you keep attacking every person who posts something different from your way. This thread was to get experiences from other people to see what is happening out there and you bounce in forcefully bullying the posters you don't agree with. There is nothing wrong with stating your beliefs and how it is working for you, but there is something wrong telling other people what they are doing is wrong. You are not a judge nor are you all knowing. Share your experiences, but quit being a bully.
