Let's Hear it Folks ! You Might be a FR8DOG if......

[leardawg]

If you've ever looked forward to a fuel stop @ Omni Air in LIT because of the free pizza waiting for you (and ice cream!)

Sorry for the multiple posts; these things pop into mind slowly as I get older!

If you've ever been kicked out of Garrett @ LAX because you picked up freight there, but were planning on buying fuel later from the Contract Fuel people at a different ramp.(We're not a freight depot; you're not welcome here anymore!).

You found yourself standing motionless, drooling, while waiting to sign the fuel ticket for Season @ TAC AIR in SHV. (Duuuuuuh, just passing by, just passing by, duuuuuh!). (Early 2000's; I hear she's gone now).

You've been to the Cyprus Gardens restaurant @ MLU a gazillion times.

You were able to actually take a nap at the unbelievably ratty Kitty Hawk pilot room at EWR (demolished, appropriately, a couple of years ago).

You ever had a (or multiple, because he never remembered you) conversation(s) with the ex-corporate pilot who had had brain surgery, and hung around the FBO @ LYH in the early 2000s (I always made the time for him; there but for the grace of god went the rest of us).

 

[leardawg]

I'm kinda dating myself, because it's been 5 years since I've flown freight. There's gotta be some ex-freight dogs out there who know what I'm talking about, however!

 

[81Horse]

... you know for a fact that crew ladders and tail stands do not hinder normal flight.

... you have, in the darkness of the night, made a few deals with God -- and promptly forgotten them after you landed safely.

... for the rest of your career, you secretly wish all the other people in the cockpit would disappear.

... the dimmest setting on your panel and overhead lights is not dim enough.

... you carry duct tape in your flightbag for the following purposes: covering over too-bright annunciator lights; sealing leaky/noisy windows and doors; taping curtains or blinds to prevent light leaks.

... you have ever had a radio unit fall out of the stack during rotation, crushing your hand.

... your first response to the request, "Say altitude," is, "What should it be right here?"

... when instructed to "remain VFR," you ask, "Anyone else out here VFR at my altitude?"

... you scud run through weather and terrain as if you were bringing life-saving serum to Nome -- but really, all you have onboard is a second-day letterpak for the Sun'n'Fun Motorsports Center.

... when your judgment does kick in, and you divert, Dispatch tries to twist your arm into trying again -- because the asshat driver says the weather looks okay to him.

... you stagger into the layover apartment mid-morning, and somebody asks you if you have last week's mail for 24C.

... all of your flights sound pretty much like the first page of an NTSB report.

... you sincerely hope that if you kill yourself in an airplane, you will manage to do it in a totally original way.

... you know that certain models of Lear must be rolled to achieve the left-right flashing landing light effect.

... you will always believe, deep in your heart, that any pilot who has never been a freight dog is suspect.

 

[leardawg]

LOL! That's funny!

 

[pilotyip]

Leardawg, what was wrong with the Kitty Hawk ramp at EWR?. It was open all night, it was heated somewhat, it had bathroom with toilets that flused sometimes and it had a 13" B&W TV in the lounge. That was fr8dog heaven. You think flying into DET to go to "Murray and Hood" is an adventure, try driving down there at night to pick up an airplane.

 

[leardawg]

You could while the time away waiting the 2-3 hours for the contract fueler to show up by counting the rats running around the building!

 

[leardawg]

I do remember making the mistake once of getting a ride from Murray to a McDonald's downtown. They actually had bullet-proof glass between the customers and workers. You placed the order through a microphone, slid the money through a slot, and picked it up through a double door system, so there was never any direct contact. I swear there were guys wearing gang colors in line there. I couldn't get out fast enough! The Murray vending machine seemed quite adequate for me after that!

 

[big pimpn']

"Leardawg", this is ATC!! advise when ready to copy. You are cleared to post the next fifteen pages of this thread.......................

 

[NoPax]

Pilot's and controllers refer to you as 'bam-bam', and you know what continuous severe turbulence feels like...for 40 minutes

You know that light frost sublimates on takeoff, and that de-icing your airplane costs more than your route pays the company.

You check the weather to see if your car needs to be hangared, so you'll be able to drive home.

You arrive at the airport on-time only to find your courier will be 5 hours late due to the weather.

The aircraft you fly have patches of velcro around the inside of the cabin windows

 

[leardawg]

If you actually qualify for membership in the Society of Experimental Test Pilots because of all the time you've spent flying airplanes "outside of the envelope".

If you've ever done a run into MOT (Minot ND) in JUNE, in shorts, T-shirt and sneakers, only to open the airplane door to snow/rain mix.

If you've ever done a run to Deadhorse Alaska in AUGUST in same duds, and the FBO manager in Juneau (fuel stop) felt sorry enough for you that he gave both of you free FBO sweatshirts ("You guys are gonna need these!").

If your FO ever looked at you with a panicky look when you've suggested "Let's go get a REAL meal at a decent restaurant" because he doesn't want to (i.e. can't) spend more than $5.72 on a meal (I'm really not that hungry to tell ya the truth. I'll just get something light later on).

If you've ever been at some podunk airport awaiting "imminent' freight arrival, starved, no crew car available, and 5 cents short of the cheapest item in the vending machine. You then proceed to check couches, cushions, underneath them, etc. in a desperate search for that futive nickel ("There's gotta be one somewhere in this building). You then find it beneath the vending machine. AHA!

 

[leardawg]

If you've ever had one of them huge burgers at MRC (Maury Co. TN).

If your FADAR (FAA Radar) is so finely tuned that you can pick a fed out of a group of people standing on a ramp from a distance of 1/2 mile while taxiing in.

If ATC has asked you billions of times what the origin of your callsign is.

If you've ever gone to Kinkos to run off mass copies of the NASA safety report.

If you've ever witnessed one of the many times the late, great Jerry B. blew his top and quit any of the operators he worked for, only to be right back in the air the next day.

If you've lost several years off of your life due to second-hand smoke while flying with Jerry B.

If you got in the habit of having maintenance service the 02 after being out on the road with Jerry B.

If you got used to some kid line guy run toward your airplane waving frantically, at night, because the ignition on one engine doesn't come on automatically any more, and you forgot to flip the switch for a few seconds while the fuel built up. (You are able to see the kid's terrified face from the orange glow illuminating the ramp for a few seconds. You then give him the "thumbs up" and taxi away!)

 

[leardawg]

If you've ever tossed freight boxes over a tall, barb-wire topped chain link fence at 0300 at some podunk airport (and passed the paper work back-and-forth through holes in the fence), because no-one called to make arrangements to have the FBO be open.

If you set the record from the time you hung up the (phone booth) phone at the same airport, until wheels up (48.3 secs) due to an approaching thunderstorm.

If you've ever been told by the customer that "The freight is on its way to the FBO. Get there as quick as you can!!! They need it YESTERDAY!" only to wait 5 hours at said FBO while they put the stuff together at the plant.

If you've ever been told by the customer "You'll have no problem loading the freight; it's only 5 small boxes!" only to have an 18-wheeler show up as the line guy asks "are you ready for the forklift now? - your company just called and made sure we had one."

If you've ever slept on the picnic table bench at Ace Forwarding @ McAllen Tx while waiting for a backhaul.

 

[leardawg]

If your idea of a 3-course meal was Salami Sticks with a side of Fritos, topped off with a Snickers bar for dessert.

If you moved on to a more "respectable" flying job, and notice the Signature BOS manager doesn't treat you like a POS any more. (He doesn't even realize you used to be that Freight Dog puke that used to come in there and take minimal fuel-" Lear *** would like 25 a side!" 20 minutes later "How's that fuel order coming for ***; we're kinda in a hurry!").

You ever had trouble finding the unlit taxiways at night at DUG (Douglas AZ) in between the sagebrush and tumbleweeds. (And you expected Clint Eastwood to come out of the abandoned terminal/GA building, poncho, cigar and all, asking "Would you fellas be lookin' for some fuel?" WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH....")

It feels Sooooooo good to clear customs (and breath clean air) back in the good ole US of A after a Mexico run, especially after spending 6 hours going round and round with the airport Commandante @ Queretaro! (Ahhhhh Capitan! We have problem! Jou no go home today!). F-ing Pancho Villa!

You've whizzed on the ramp @ LRD at 0200 waiting for customs to show up (on more than one occasion-that's why it's so pitted!).

You've departed out of Toluca MX trying to get the DP with the clearance, only to be told "Deeparture weel bee assigned weeth takeoff cleeerance". "Toluca tower, N***** ready for takeoff" - "Royer, N*****, Clear for takeoff, fly the Toluca 3 deeparture, Arana transeetion, contact deeparture on *****", traffeec on five mile final!". And the procedure calls for flying a LOC course until intercepting the 11.0 DME arc, then flying the arc until intercepting the *** bearing from the XYZ NDB, then climbing to 17000', then ...

 

[yzf6]

if the most expensive, and reliable equipment in the airplane is your IPOD

if center has ever said to you:
"welcome back.. the last 2 guys went missed but we didn't tell you because we figured you'd find a way in, going in there every night and all"

 

[hawk16e]

I was laughing at these posts until I realized you were talking about me. I do know PilotYip by first name. Anyone else been politely asked by flight following to come in for a trip --"No, we don't know where, just get here ASAP"?