I have never...

[ifly4food]

The "hi Steve" below ten on approach is a good one. Never done that. I hate it when you're on the PA and your fellow aviator gets the "hi Steve" before you can let off the mike. Then the pax ask you after landing "Is the pilot's name Steve?". Never done thet one.

As for E120 tales (since it's such an f'd up airplane), I've never...

... gotten the "sink rate" on a slam dunk visual into ATL.

... crossed the marker at 270kt and 4000ft to make a normal landing (NOT in ATL).

... pulled the aural warning breaker (and back up battery) to shut up the "hi Steve".

... landed and stopped the airplane on the runway in less than 1000 ft (empty).

... blown the APU offline because I tried to start an engine with a gen still on (ooops).

... flown a whole flight home at flaps 15 because of a "control fault" on takeoff from a podunk airport on Thanksgiving day.

... maniacally yelled "SHUT UP!!!" at the top of my voice to an airplane without a hush kit ("DING DING DING, ENGINE CONTROL, OIL", "DING DING DING, ENGINE CONTROL, OIL, DOORS"...)

... flown under the Mackinac bridge (but I know someone who has).

 

[alimaui]

For GA nevers....

I have never landed short of the runway.

I have never tried taking off after a touch and go with full flaps. (Then proceed to climb 500 feet while trying to figure out why it was climbing so slowly)

I have never gone below the radar (on solo cross country) so the controller would call me up and I would have someone to talk to. (Those things are so boring!)

I have never tried to rush out before the atis is updated because I know that the current wx is not appropriate for flying. I have never done that at my instructors request either.

Ali

 

[ifly4food]

Re: For GA nevers....

I have never landed short of the runway.

I have never tried taking off after a touch and go with full flaps. (Then proceed to climb 500 feet while trying to figure out why it was climbing so slowly)

I have never gone below the radar (on solo cross country) so the controller would call me up and I would have someone to talk to. (Those things are so boring!)

I have never tried to rush out before the atis is updated because I know that the current wx is not appropriate for flying. I have never done that at my instructors request either.

Ali

I think you need a new instructor!

 

[flyhi]

I have never, ever...

1) forgotten to set flaps for takeoff then pretended to actually retract them when capt called for it and wondered aloud how sluggish the takeoff seemed.

2) told my pax when they asked that "yes, the lav is ready to use" in my most confident voice. then second-guessed myself the whole flight only to find urine on TOP of the lav pullout and in the tray!!

3) forgot to put the all-important diet cokes on board and told the owner that the cabin got so hot sitting on the ramp in the sun, ALL of the diet cokes exploded, had to clean up the mess, and there was nowhere to get anymore.

4) started up with chalks still in

5) not called an FBO 15 minutes out to remind them of our pax's car, and when it wasn't pulled up to the airplane, blamed it on the lineman

6) on a 100 degree day turned the a/c to full hot accidentally and miraculously "fixed" the problem 5 minutes later when the pax were dripping with sweat complaining.

 

[172driver]

I've never...

-- violated airspace

--violated the aerobatic flight limitations getting out of the airspace that i never violated

--flown closer than 20 miles to a t'storm

--spun an airplane around because one wing was still tied after i applied full power to get out of that apparent pothole that one of the wheels must have been stuck in

--had a near miss because i was fixated on the neat functions of the GPS

--taxied anywhere near rotation speed

--lined up on final with a taxiway or the wrong runway

--forgotten to switch over to tower and approach never forgets to hand me off either...

 

[Cornelius]

I always monitor company frequency

I never report "on the ground" to company during the landing roll in denver

I never left the emergency lights armed during shutdown and accidentally activated the ex light system

I always fly 200 KIAS or less when going into a Class D airport

I'm always stabilized and fully configured for landing when descending below 1000 ft above TDZN

I never took off into a big dust devil

I'm always at or above glide slope

I never get scared when we fly into moderate ice in the Brakillya

I always use an ILS backup for a visual approach into an outstation

 

[501261]

I've never hit any pilot-induced clear air turbulance when the copilot is trying to take a leak!

I've never had some passengers join the mile high club, though I did get a $100 tip for a "nice ride."
I've never wanted to say "No thanks, the freak show was more than enough for a tip!"

I've never forgotten the oil cap, gas cap, or baggage door!

I've never pulled the overspeed breaker, though it is collared!

 

[cessna_driver2]

Ok I think this will work.

I've never forgot to turn on transponder, get called by tower and told them I would recycle. And I never forgot to do that coming out of Dallas Love either.

 

[Typhoon1244]

I've never forgot to turn on transponder, get called by tower and told them I would recycle...

Or said, "we'll try the other transponder," regardless of how many are installed. (I tried pulling that one off in a Cherokee once. I don't know if he believed me...)

I've never realized that center's been calling me, and responded with, "center, how do you hear this transmitter? I think we're having some trouble with the other one."

I've also never said, "sorry, I was on the land-line. Say again?"

 

[cessna_driver2]

Had My instructor turn the volume down on me on com 1 while useing com 2. Switched back to com 1 while on an NDB approach. All the while stating my distance off the gps set for another airport that I just got done shooting the ILS. All the while, Never got a peep out of tower until a realized the volume was down just inside the FAF.

 

[Typhoon1244]

Airspeed308, I'd say you are a fool if you did this and an unsafe pilot.

Relax, man, he said he didn't do it.

And if he did, well, let's take him out back and shoot him.

I am not trying to condone reckless flying. Absolutely irresponsible. But I also recognize that almost all of us, probably early on, went through a daredevil phase. It usually doesn't last...actually, it can't last if you plan on having a successful career in aviation.

For me, it took grinding through a narrow valley in a '152 at about thirty feet A.G.L., fifteen degrees nose up, about forty knots. Never mind how I got there...I was trying to do something cool, I think. I soon realized, "if I keep f___ing around like this, I'm going to get killed."

The ideal is for one to come to this realization before they even start flying. If that doesn't happen, then you just have to hope that they see the light before they wipe out a bunch of people...or a beautiful landmark.

BUT, HEY...this is supposed to be a fun thread. Where were we...?

 

[aero99]

#1 I have never stated " that controller is a jacka$$ and couldn't control his way through a space invaders game" while the mic buttons was stuck on hot.

I think I was number 35 for TO that day.


#2 I have never thought that the dumba$$ not answering his ATC calls needed to pull his head outta his butt only to figure out ATC was calling me. (-**CENSORED****CENSORED****CENSORED****CENSORED** rentals with their different tail numbers.)

I guess that was payback for #1.


#3 I never took off and looked to my left to see all the gas coming outta the left tank because I forgot to put the gas cap back on.

 

[Typhoon1244]

I have never thought that the dumba$$ not answering his ATC calls needed to pull his head outta his butt only to figure out ATC was calling me.

I thought I was the only one who'd never done that!

I have never, since getting hired by an airline, rented an airplane and been unable to stop using my company's callsign...

"Approach, Acey Two-Zero...I mean Skyhawk Two-Zero-Victor..."

 

[LR25]

YEa, as soon as you start to say your company call sign you then figure out there is no FLT# to add to it. I hate when that happens.

Of all the times we get flustered at ATC, they get us back in the long run, dont they.

 

[172driver]

Chill out, Jim...you've got to remember that he never did that. Nobody ever loses their sense of humor on this board during a funny thread either. And they didnt forget their Midol this morning either.

Most of all...I'm sure Jim has NEVER done anything that could be construed as dangerous or illegal.

 

[flyhi]

i have never called an airport "in sight" from 15 miles out on a hazy summer afternoon in order to get lower.

 

[Airspeed308]

Jim, I said I never did those things, lighten up (I'm not that stupid!). But I have heard stories about Scenic Otters landing the wrong way (empty)at MV. And I have heard rumors about aircraft flying under Rainbow Bridge.

If you flew the Canyon then you should know that these are subjects that come up in a joking manner by just about all the pilots at some point in the season. Some could say that flying into MV at any time is dangerous. Chill out and remember this thread says "I have never....".

 

[Cornelius]

I never knew a captain who told a flight attendant the overhead spot light in the EMB-120 was a telescope used for shooting stars so he could accurately use terretrial navigation. When the Flight Attendant put her eye up to the little spot light at night, he turned it on to high intensity and blinded her. We never pick on the flight attendants, never.

 

[wingnutt]

let see...

-never used the FD for an "alarm clock" after a 2-1/2 hour flight into some godforsaken west texas town at 4 in the morning.

-never flown between storm cells after being prodded by the owner to "get it there on time" only to get pelted with hail and cause 7K in damage.

-never confused Houston Class B with DFW class B and gone way too high way too fast only to have ATC question if i am really at 3500 feet and not my assigned 2000 feet; thereby responding with the fastest nose dive you ever saw and telling ATC "the transponder must be malfuntioning, let me recycle it" and shut it off until im back at 2000.

-never blamed the line personnel for "putting the chocks back in" after i "removed" them shortly before

...agreed, this is kinda fun

 

[cessna_driver2]

Not quite a pilot, but aviation related.

Never recycled a parts quote through the fax machine for a co-woker to locate a 5 gal bucket of prop wash, or a couple of I-D- TEN-TANGOS.