I have never...

[Stifler's Mom]

I've never had a TCAS warning in the middle of a PA. I wonder if the "traffic, traffic" call out can be heard in the cabin? And if so, what do they think when I suddenly cut off my PA while we look for that traffic?

 

[anjinoo7]

I have never:

Stolen a plane from the Embry Riddle flight line (Prescott) and parked it on a dirt road under the practice area and had someone pick me up ( but I heard it happened).

Performed aerobatics over downtown LA and then been forced down by L.A. county sheriffs helecopter for doing so but I know someone who has.

Dropped toilet paper rolls out of an airplane trying to hit your buddy who is in his car while driving down I-40.

 

[minitour]

I have never had this exchange with tower:

"Tower, Cessna 123 request a left 360, I'm a little high here"

"Cessna 123, approved, cleared to land following the 360"

"Cleared to land, Cessna 123"

*a few seconds pass as I didn't start the 360 and realize I was gonna be okay*

"Tower, Cessna 123...nevermind the 360, I'm a dumbass..."

 

[PropsForward]

I have never gone flying with the family to watch the fireworks from the air, then while flying back to the airport have my son point out the pretty red and green fireworks on the airfield (in the vicinity of the tower). Land, and get a greeting by the airport authority to call the tower that was still open....

 

[TIGV]

I have never coerced legal viz from the tower only to end up flying the needles till touchdown.

I have never disconnected the yaw-damper servo to get the autopilot to function.

I have never pulled the cowl and beaten hell out the FCU to free the FCV so the **CENSORED****CENSORED****CENSORED****CENSORED** thing wouldn't hang on the next start.

I have never done one do-nut a second, spraying snow everywhere, on an icy ramp in a T-prop just for the manic fun of it.

I have never, NEVER, had naked people in my airoplane.

I have never blasted arse-gas over the company freq, ( This requires never almost having to insert the handheld mic )

I have never responded to ATC with a Sean Connery voice.

I have never been rudely interrupted while reading a book at FL230 by my spitcan and it's contents flying loose around the cockpit due to an inadvertant encounter with the tops of a level 4. ( Nope don't chew anymore lol )

I have never forgotten what max the holding speeds are.

I never say rude things to anyone who might be listening on 123.40 LOL

 

[FracCapt]

I have never, NEVER, had naked people in my airoplane.

So....I'm guessing you were NEVER a jump pilot, either?

 

[DJS]

Glad that someone bumped this thread. I missed it the first time it came through.

I personally have never...

- attempted to call up up what I thought was BFI tower (class D) wanting to do some night landing practices in a 172.

- And since I never did that, they didn't respond with a curt "Cessna 12345 unable".

- At which point, I never started doing 360s over the Kent valley waiting for another opening on the radio, all the while thinking, "man, they are sure busy over there at Boeing tonight".

- After things calmed down a little, I certainly never called back again asking if my little Cessna could come in and do some stop and goes, getting another, angrier, "Unable!"

- Since I'm a highly intelligent person, I absolutely never would have called back with, "Boeing tower, do you have any ETA when I could in and do some stop and goes?"

- And, of course, they didn't call back with "Cessna 12345, this is SEATTLE TOWER and I said, UNABLE!"

- After that, there was never any chorus of annonymous pilots on the radio saying things like, "moron", "get a clue", "doh!" etc.

And if any of that had actually happened, I would have been exceedingly relieved that Cessna 12345 was a rental!

 

[BD King]

Okay, Okay. I am glad that I have never flown under a bridge in an open cockpit airplane (UPF-7). I am glad that I have NEVER rolled an airplane on take-off. (Assuming that I would have done so, I would assume that it is greater than sex)
{not quite}..............come to think of it? Maybe it is......And thank GOD, I have never busted an altitude, or any regulation............LONG LIVE BOB HOOVER!!!!!!!!

 

[tcoll777]

I have never rolled a piper seminole........nor have I ever went IMC just after calling field in sight, and still landed! I have never ever, set an ADF to a freq, turned up the volume, and dozed off........(when you get close it starts screaming, wakes you up)..........but someday i would like to try these things

 

[secks]

I never stayed up until 5AM EST reading "I NEVER" posts.

Here are a few from the rails:

I never took my (short) train over a derail while servicing an industry.

I never picked up some hopper cars which had just been rerailed, derail them over a misaligned switch, and blame the carmen for not rerailing them properly. I never got away with it either.

I never throw used "lavatory bags" out of the locomotive while doing track speed.

I never get a kick out of blasting through a sleepy town at 3AM, whistle screaming.

I never briefly block a crossing in order to get a quick cup of coffee.

I never have forgotten to call a signal.