Cockpit Etiquette

[robair73]

Girls don't fart. Don't poop either. Didn't you know that?

You bare a striking resemblance of my ex-girlfriend...

 

[JohnnyP]

.....

I just fire mine into the seat and hope my seat cushion has enough material to soak up the smell before it gains any momentum.

 

[on autopilot]

Girls don't fart. Don't poop either. Didn't you know that?

You all want us to believe that, "butt" I know from personal experience when a female flight instructor of mine gagged me with her cheeks "A$$"ault while we were doing stalls in hot Florida.

She was like everybody does it right? Nice girl, great pilot. But I was intrigued. How could something so foul smelling come out of someone that was so lovely to look at? She worked out too, so her glutes were very shapely.

In my obession to find the source of this stench, I made the study of female flatulence a matter of top priority.

"A$$"ide from the slaps and wierd looks, its' been a living. I have asked some of my subject to send photos of their glutes (bare is the preference) and have instead had the cops come out to investigate. Can you believe???

Its' not like a have an A$$ obsession "butt" I just want to know and oh yeah, no fat chicks, but I do take em healthy, think sir mix a lot.

(Gives shifty, suspicious Glenn Quagmire look)

So ahhhhhhhhh, you have any more pix of you and your avatar?

 

[Salukipilot4590]

PROTIP: If you're going to fly with someone you dont like make sure you eat a whole cabbage and drink a six-pack of local beer the night before a 4-day, top it all off with a Volcano Taco right before you get to the airport.

???

Profit!

 

[Dirty Sanchez]

As I stand to say bye to the pax (blocking the cockpit door), I let it rip right behind my FO's left ear. They are trapped.

Just make sure your FO doesn't try to get up first and return the favor on a later leg.

 

[PeanuckleCRJ]

In the cockpit it's gentlemanly to drop at will...just call it out so the other guy doesnt get caught off guard.

"Fart in the air" or "Howdy" signify an act of non-aggression.

 

[on autopilot]

Girls don't fart. Don't poop either. Didn't you know that?

Hey boxie, just wondering if in turbulence you know anything about this.......http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XTE_gdWyB5E

 

[on autopilot]

Girls don't fart. Don't poop either. Didn't you know that?

Specific at 4:28. Like your tag line. I hate it when females stare at my man boobs.....

 

[BOX OFFICE]

Specific at 4:28. Like your tag line. I hate it when females stare at my man boobs.....

Exactly like that!

 

[on autopilot]

Exactly like that!

WOW.................in that case you need an F.O.? Specific to flying in the Northeast in these cold windy turbulent months, I just want to make sure your O.K.

What you flying? Should I bring any jello or whatever? I like jello.

 

[robair73]

Phillies Are World Champs!!!! Yahoooooooo!!!!!

 

[fly4funcrj]

Dudes:

Ever wonder why the movie we see in training about the high altitude hypoxia where the guy twitches then passes out while attempting to don an oxygen mask is a SILENT ONE?

I bet he really let one rrrrrrrip!

Notice how the guy who helps him put the mask on is in a rush to get the hell out of the room! Phew!

Anyone have a copy of that video?

 

[MrSky]

Anyone from the old WestAir Commuter would remember one of our instructors quotes....

Be Polite...... But Be Comfortable!

 

[TangoIndiaMike]

The guys at a Fortune 500 Flight Dept that I work with are convinced that if you siq squarely on the seat, the lambswool seat cover will mysterously absorb the smell and your seat mate will not smell it. I believe this is BS...lterally...
Anyone else heard about this one?

 

[on autopilot]

The guys at a Fortune 500 Flight Dept that I work with are convinced that if you siq squarely on the seat, the lambswool seat cover will mysterously absorb the smell and your seat mate will not smell it. I believe this is BS...lterally...
Anyone else heard about this one?

Never. There was a Captain named Santos that would melt the lambswool. He was from Puerto Rico, and that guys farts were potent, I still wanna hurl when I think about the stench he could produce, and he was proud of it!!!

He would stink the whole cockpit up and just say Nothing like your own!!!!

 

[Papa Woody]

He was from Puerto Rico, and that guys farts were potent...

Hey!

Profiling farts is ILLEGAL.

 

[on autopilot]

Hey!

Profiling farts is ILLEGAL.

Hey Santos was the one who was proud to be from P.R. He was proud of his farts too. Last I heard, he's still lighting up his F.O.'s with those farts.

 

[robair73]

Let it be known, I blasted a big one into the lambskin seat cover and it still stunk like hell. I moved my butt all the way back and sat straight up to squarely place my butthole straight into the seat. I eased one out and it still stunk!! I have to say that myth is BUSTED!