Cockpit Etiquette

[Wesb737fo]

No doubt, everyone farts at altitude......I usually don't say anything, but I will often deploy an instant air freshener in the form of a sani-com or one of those wet naps....however one guy said it smelled like I was sh!tt!ng lemons.

 

[Amish RakeFight]

My Technique

No doubt, everyone farts at altitude......I usually don't say anything, but I will often deploy an instant air freshener in the form of a sani-com or one of those wet naps....however one guy said it smelled like I was sh!tt!ng lemons.

So as to save face, I spray Lysol in my boxers each morning for the inevitable.



.

 

[Oh-ryan]

No doubt, everyone farts at altitude......I usually don't say anything, but I will often deploy an instant air freshener in the form of a sani-com or one of those wet naps....however one guy said it smelled like I was sh!tt!ng lemons.

No I didn't. I said it smells like latex and vaseline.

 

[7574EVER]

So as to save face, I spray Lysol in my boxers each morning for the inevitable.
.

I did that once only to find out I'm allergic to Lysol. Had a giant rash on my ass for two days.....

 

[aa73]

Step 1: Adjust gasper outlet so that the airflow points directly toward the nose of the unsuspecting crew member.

Step 2: Wait. Patience is a virtue here. Allow the pressure to build and the aroma to mature, much like a fine champagne. Allowing time for additional putrification will pay off.

Step 3: Move seat back a few clicks. You will need the wiggle room when assuming the "positive pressure release position."

Step 4: The "positive pressure release position." Now lift one glut off of the seat approximately one inch in the direction of the gasper in step one. Lift the knee on the same side as if you are stretching a hamstring.

Step 5: Release the gasous burrito slowly. A slow release is preferable because it enhances the period of the noxious waves soon to be headed toward the target crew members olifactory sensors. If done correctly, this will result in the much sought after "secondary" and "tertiary gag reflex" from the target crew member.

Step 6: Enjoy the reaction. Be sure to note the exquisite nose wrinkling and eye watering evident in the victim. Next you will note an especially satisfying darting of the eyes as the evolutionary, low brain "flight" instinct takes over. If the target begins scratching at the windows in an attempt to escape, consider the maneuver performed to perfection.

Step 7: Laugh. Clean yourself up as necessary and prepare for a certian counter attack from the offended crew member.

Guess who perfected that technique in the crash pad!!!! :laugh:

 

[Wesb737fo]

No I didn't. I said it smells like latex and vaseline.

obviously a Navy guy would know about latex and vaseline.

 

[LowlyPropCapt]

Guess who perfected that technique in the crash pad!!!! :laugh:

Yep. You and J.W. had that technique down pat!

 

[Papa Woody]

Dudes:

Ever wonder why the movie we see in training about the high altitude hypoxia where the guy twitches then passes out while attempting to don an oxygen mask is a SILENT ONE?

I bet he really let one rrrrrrrip!

Notice how the guy who helps him put the mask on is in a rush to get the hell out of the room! Phew!

 

[BOX OFFICE]

So do you let em rip when you fly with the guys? If you do, when is your next trip? Female flatulence has always intrigued me...............

Girls don't fart. Don't poop either. Didn't you know that?

 

[WAZUP]

dude if you hold it you end up like this (no the second guy)
http://de.youtube.com/watch?v=HSoVKUVOnfQ