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No doubt, everyone farts at altitude......I usually don't say anything, but I will often deploy an instant air freshener in the form of a sani-com or one of those wet naps....however one guy said it smelled like I was sh!tt!ng lemons.
No doubt, everyone farts at altitude......I usually don't say anything, but I will often deploy an instant air freshener in the form of a sani-com or one of those wet naps....however one guy said it smelled like I was sh!tt!ng lemons.
So as to save face, I spray Lysol in my boxers each morning for the inevitable.
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Step 1: Adjust gasper outlet so that the airflow points directly toward the nose of the unsuspecting crew member.
Step 2: Wait. Patience is a virtue here. Allow the pressure to build and the aroma to mature, much like a fine champagne. Allowing time for additional putrification will pay off.
Step 3: Move seat back a few clicks. You will need the wiggle room when assuming the "positive pressure release position."
Step 4: The "positive pressure release position." Now lift one glut off of the seat approximately one inch in the direction of the gasper in step one. Lift the knee on the same side as if you are stretching a hamstring.
Step 5: Release the gasous burrito slowly. A slow release is preferable because it enhances the period of the noxious waves soon to be headed toward the target crew members olifactory sensors. If done correctly, this will result in the much sought after "secondary" and "tertiary gag reflex" from the target crew member.
Step 6: Enjoy the reaction. Be sure to note the exquisite nose wrinkling and eye watering evident in the victim. Next you will note an especially satisfying darting of the eyes as the evolutionary, low brain "flight" instinct takes over. If the target begins scratching at the windows in an attempt to escape, consider the maneuver performed to perfection.
Step 7: Laugh. Clean yourself up as necessary and prepare for a certian counter attack from the offended crew member.
No I didn't. I said it smells like latex and vaseline.
Guess who perfected that technique in the crash pad!!!! :laugh:
So do you let em rip when you fly with the guys? If you do, when is your next trip? Female flatulence has always intrigued me...............