Cockpit Etiquette

[7574EVER]

Dorks.

Dorks? Didn't you start a thread the first time you shat youself? HAHA just yankin ya man!

 

[7574EVER]

Yanking your chain I mean.......:erm:

 

[CA1900]

Not that there's anything wrong with that...


:laugh:

 

[big shacks]

Fart tennis, I'm Sampras

 

[TheRaven]

Not in my experience.

Any woman who can converse about gastrointestinal relief is a keeper.

 

[Amish RakeFight]

Any woman who can converse about gastrointestinal relief is a keeper.

Whatever get's you off...

If she's can turn flatulence into shop talk, I'm not sure I'd wanna to keep'er!

 

[Gulf-front]

The FO better say "Thank you sir, may I have another!"

 

[NoahWerka]

Dorks? Didn't you start a thread the first time you shat youself? HAHA just yankin ya man!

Some of you may remember this thread. It was hilarious.
Diarreah in a freighter

 

[EatSleepFly]

There he sits, broken hearted
Came to $h!t but only farted
Later on he took a chance,
Tried to fart and $h!t his pants!


Don't let it happen to you! imp:


P.S.- What up Robair!

 

[on autopilot]

Not in my experience.

So do you let em rip when you fly with the guys? If you do, when is your next trip? Female flatulence has always intrigued me...............

 

[robair73]

So do you let em rip when you fly with the guys? If you do, when is your next trip? Female flatulence has always intrigued me...............

Intrigued you? I've always found female farts to be some of the stinkiest around. I've literally teared up and choked from them. When a girl farts, RUN FOR ZEE HILLS!!

How's it going ESF?

 

[A-V-8]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O3ejlkzDCuc&feature=related

 

[Jack-O-Lantern]

Where is Hoser?

 

[AMT_842]

Yanking your chain I mean.......:erm:

Not that there's anything wrong with that...


:laugh:

You haven't really lived until you've pulled a guy like me.
By which I mean pulling a guy who is like me
not me pulling another guy because
that is gay and I'm a pilot
I don't do that kind of thing...

....

....much

 

[on autopilot]

Intrigued you? I've always found female farts to be some of the stinkiest around. I've literally teared up and choked from them. When a girl farts, RUN FOR ZEE HILLS!!

How's it going ESF?

It depends on what cheeks the farts are originating from, like the chick in your avatar, I would love it she dropPed trough, bent over and let em rip.......























































FREAKED OUT YET?? LOL

 

[Spoolingbyu]

It depends on what cheeks the farts are originating from, like the chick in your avatar, I would love it she dropPed trough, bent over and let em rip.......


FREAKED OUT YET?? LOL

What you mean to say is that you would eat a mile of her **** just to see where it came from.

 

[Papa Woody]

Before I waff an air-biscuit, I always do the George Carlin "test fart."

 

[Skippy]

just SQUARE IT UP!!! IE DO NOT LIFT-- plus it's a dead giveaway when you do the side lean technique-- usually the fake "cloth" seat will absorb it, if you have cheap ass or severely compressed cushions-- you're screwed, just hope it's not a SHART!

 

[robair73]

It depends on what cheeks the farts are originating from, like the chick in your avatar, I would love it she dropPed trough, bent over and let em rip.......
FREAKED OUT YET?? LOL

Now that is a great visual!! I can just imagine what that would look like from behind...

 

[Amish RakeFight]

-- plus it's a dead giveaway when you do the side lean technique--

....and all this time I thought I had everyone fooled. Damn. :0

 

[Wesb737fo]

No doubt, everyone farts at altitude......I usually don't say anything, but I will often deploy an instant air freshener in the form of a sani-com or one of those wet naps....however one guy said it smelled like I was sh!tt!ng lemons.

 

[Amish RakeFight]

My Technique

No doubt, everyone farts at altitude......I usually don't say anything, but I will often deploy an instant air freshener in the form of a sani-com or one of those wet naps....however one guy said it smelled like I was sh!tt!ng lemons.

So as to save face, I spray Lysol in my boxers each morning for the inevitable.



.

 

[Oh-ryan]

No doubt, everyone farts at altitude......I usually don't say anything, but I will often deploy an instant air freshener in the form of a sani-com or one of those wet naps....however one guy said it smelled like I was sh!tt!ng lemons.

No I didn't. I said it smells like latex and vaseline.

 

[7574EVER]

So as to save face, I spray Lysol in my boxers each morning for the inevitable.
.

I did that once only to find out I'm allergic to Lysol. Had a giant rash on my ass for two days.....

 

[aa73]

Step 1: Adjust gasper outlet so that the airflow points directly toward the nose of the unsuspecting crew member.

Step 2: Wait. Patience is a virtue here. Allow the pressure to build and the aroma to mature, much like a fine champagne. Allowing time for additional putrification will pay off.

Step 3: Move seat back a few clicks. You will need the wiggle room when assuming the "positive pressure release position."

Step 4: The "positive pressure release position." Now lift one glut off of the seat approximately one inch in the direction of the gasper in step one. Lift the knee on the same side as if you are stretching a hamstring.

Step 5: Release the gasous burrito slowly. A slow release is preferable because it enhances the period of the noxious waves soon to be headed toward the target crew members olifactory sensors. If done correctly, this will result in the much sought after "secondary" and "tertiary gag reflex" from the target crew member.

Step 6: Enjoy the reaction. Be sure to note the exquisite nose wrinkling and eye watering evident in the victim. Next you will note an especially satisfying darting of the eyes as the evolutionary, low brain "flight" instinct takes over. If the target begins scratching at the windows in an attempt to escape, consider the maneuver performed to perfection.

Step 7: Laugh. Clean yourself up as necessary and prepare for a certian counter attack from the offended crew member.

Guess who perfected that technique in the crash pad!!!! :laugh:

 

[Wesb737fo]

No I didn't. I said it smells like latex and vaseline.

obviously a Navy guy would know about latex and vaseline.

 

[LowlyPropCapt]

Guess who perfected that technique in the crash pad!!!! :laugh:

Yep. You and J.W. had that technique down pat!

 

[Papa Woody]

Dudes:

Ever wonder why the movie we see in training about the high altitude hypoxia where the guy twitches then passes out while attempting to don an oxygen mask is a SILENT ONE?

I bet he really let one rrrrrrrip!

Notice how the guy who helps him put the mask on is in a rush to get the hell out of the room! Phew!

 

[BOX OFFICE]

So do you let em rip when you fly with the guys? If you do, when is your next trip? Female flatulence has always intrigued me...............

Girls don't fart. Don't poop either. Didn't you know that?

 

[WAZUP]

dude if you hold it you end up like this (no the second guy)
http://de.youtube.com/watch?v=HSoVKUVOnfQ