Chuck Norris' calendar goes from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.
Yeah, I heard that whenever someone offers Chuck a bottle of soy milk, he kicks it so hard it vaporizes instantly. Suddenly, everyone else around him appears to be a little more feminine. But, that's not from the soy vapor. It's because Chuck Norris is just that manly.
Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equivalent to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick) and, if that was ever tapped, his roundhouse kick could power the country of Australia for 44 years.
</B></I></U>The only reason Chuck Norris didn’t win an Oscar for his performance in “Sidekicks” is because nobody in their right mind would willingly give Chuck Norris a blunt metal object. That’s just suicide.
Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, “Gotcha!”.
Chuck Norris constructed his own IPOD by staring intensely at 10,000 country-western bands until they finally surrendered and dutifully compacted themselves into a 2x4x1/2” white rectangle.
When Chuck Norris jumps in a pond, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet, the water gets terrified.
