CHUCK NORRIS TO RECEIVE AND FLY ALL CRJ 900's

[snap145]

Allow me the pleasure of introducing you to

Blade.
Laser.
Blazer.

I believe you've met my fitness consigliere, Me'Shell.

yes but who remembers the name of the nasty russian chick with the "lady in red" song playing in the background?????

 

[DannyNoonan]

a lot of you prolly heard this one from the chronicles, but for those who havent....ENJOY!....

Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't f**k with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.

 

[Rook]

yes but who remembers the name of the nasty russian chick with the "lady in red" song playing in the background?????

You mean Fran Stalinofskivitchdavitovcichski? :laugh:

 

[TheDude280]

Unless your into that sort of thing. In which case I've got some shackles in the back. HAHAHA, just kidding, but really. I got em!
Let it be known that I am demanding we get ESPN 8, the Ocho at ExpressJet!!!

 

[PERSON]

A picture is worth a thousand words. A Chuck Norris is worth a billion paragraphs.

Chuck Norris always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego.

Scotty in Star Trek often says "Ye cannae change the laws of physics." This is untrue. Chuck Norris can change the laws of physics with his roundhouse kick by altering the space-time continuum and knocking his victims into the next millinium. One reason for this is that his roundhouse kicks are comprised primarily of an element called Chucktanium.

Along with his black belt, Chuck Norris often chooses to wear brown shoes and white socks. No one has DARED call him on it. Ever.

</B></I></U>

 

[Fratboy]

I am so glad there is something that everyone on the FI Regoinals board can agree on!!!

 

[rfa]

He can slam a revolving door you know.

 

[CrownandCoke]

I heard that when Chuck Norris does pushups, he doesn't push his body up. He pushes the earth down.

He also ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

And this global warming thing is a crock. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned up the sun.

 

[DrewBlows]

Chuck Norris once did a 20 minute turn in JFK!

 

[JediNein]

Chuck Norris makes ORD Ground sit in the penalty box.

 

[flyboy]

Chuck Norris once did a 20 minute turn in JFK![/quote

i don't care who you are, that's hilarious right there!!

 

[g-code]

Chuck Norris' boots are made of the skin of goatjet pilots foolish enough to ask for his jumpseat.

 

[Berkut]

Gulfstream pays Chuck Norris for training.

 

[slotationdriver]

Chuck Norris always transmits on guard and once roundhouse kicked a guy through the radio for saying "You're on guard!"

 

[pa31350pilot]

I don't know why there was talk about Chuck and rest. Chuck doesn't need rest....we all know he doesn't sleep......he waits.

 

[JettBoii]

Chuck never needs a clearance.

 

[DannyNoonan]

When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.

 

[PERSON]

Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks weren’t the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has every made.

Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

Chuck Norris has to maintain a concealed weapon license in all 50 states in order to legally wear pants.

There IS only one way to skin a cat because Chuck Norris has the patent on the other 311.

What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris and a pair of cowboy boots? A double roundhouse kick to the head.....Don’t EVER cross Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris is not the type to wear his heart on his sleeve. He will, however, wear your heart on his sleeve if you every make the mistake of touching his beard.

 

[Golden Falcon]

"If an episode of Walker Texas Ranger changed your life...you might be a redneck"...j foxworthy

 

[jeroom]

Chuck Norris once did a 20 minute turn in JFK!

I actually saw Chuck Norris the other day in JFK... He said "what the hell with all that taxiway BS..." HE started his takeoff roll directly from the ramp! HIs Modified CRJ had flames painted all over and afterburners, and a few Guided Air to Air missiles under the wings!

He's no joke!