CHUCK NORRIS TO RECEIVE AND FLY ALL CRJ 900's

[Hootie9750]

Chuck Norris calls crew scheduling on THEIR day off and makes them mow his lawn

Hell yeah!! LOL!!

 

[Guitar Guy]

Chuck Norris doesn't pay for AirInc conferences. Kit Darby pays Chuck to show up and not roundhouse kick Kit in the head.

 

[Troy208]

Chuck Norris once while non-reving to work on an ERJ145 was told by a FA that he would have to gate check his large bag. Chuck then proceeded to roundhouse kick his full size samsonite so hard that it actually did fit in the overhead bin. The FA was instantly killed by shear amazment.

LMFAO!!!

 

[JediNein]

A piston aircraft once tried to fail its engine when Chuck was flying it. Chuck roundhouse-kicked the aircraft and now it's a swept-wing turbine. Boeing and Airbus pay Chuck royalties for the swept-wing design.

 

[TOOL CRIB]

Chuck Norris is the only man in existence to hold a CL65 type rating and be approved for all circling approaches... not just VMC only.

Chuck Norris was once given an EDCT time. The planet on which he was given that EDCT time is now an asteroid belt.

Chuck Norris doesn't negotiate contracts. He demands a 5% raise every day, and gets it.

When Chuck Norris is your captain and calls for flaps 60, even though they only go to flaps 45, you better find a way to make it happen, and quickly!

Chuck Norris can actually get good food at an airport.

 

[dojetdriver]

A piston aircraft once tried to fail its engine when Chuck was flying it. Chuck roundhouse-kicked the aircraft and now it's a swept-wing turbine. Boeing and Airbus pay Chuck royalties for the swept-wing design.

This happened AFTER the failure. Chuck Norris's round house kick generated enough thrust to get him out of trouble. THEN he roundhoused the plane.

When flying a CRJ with Chuck Norris, the mysterious "core lock' phenomenon is not even an issue.

 

[chrisrj83]

Chuck Norris clogs the lav when he pisses

Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost

Chuck Norris only has two speeds. Walk and Kill

Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg

 

[dojetdriver]

Last year, UPS and FedEx's MEC's threatened management that if they didn't get a contract, they were going to get Chuck Norris to be their joint negotiating chairmen.

Coincidence that BOTH their contracts got settled?

 

[Way2Broke]

Chuck Norris ate at the Burger King is STL and lived to tell about it.

 

[30West]

Chuck Norris ate at the Burger King is STL and lived to tell about it.

And then went next door to Del Taco, roundhouse kicked all of the rats and they instantly turned into nympho supermodels!

 

[DrewBlows]

Chuck Norris' company had to file for a waiver to fly without Flight Attendants after every single one took maternity leave at the same time.

 

[waterski]

Chuck Norris make's offer to buy Delta Airlines

 

[dojetdriver]

Chuck Norris make's offer to buy Delta Airlines

Chuck Norris doesn't have to make an offer. He will just glare at DAL's managment team and the rest will take care of itself.

 

[jeroom]

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs

Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter

Chuck Norris once roundhouse-kicked a ten dollar bill into 200 nickels

 

[SiuDude]

Chuck Norris does not do Jepp revisions...

You got a problem with that?