CHUCK NORRIS TO RECEIVE AND FLY ALL CRJ 900's

[flyboy]

Chuck Norris once did a 20 minute turn in JFK![/quote

i don't care who you are, that's hilarious right there!!

 

[g-code]

Chuck Norris' boots are made of the skin of goatjet pilots foolish enough to ask for his jumpseat.

 

[Berkut]

Gulfstream pays Chuck Norris for training.

 

[slotationdriver]

Chuck Norris always transmits on guard and once roundhouse kicked a guy through the radio for saying "You're on guard!"

 

[pa31350pilot]

I don't know why there was talk about Chuck and rest. Chuck doesn't need rest....we all know he doesn't sleep......he waits.

 

[JettBoii]

Chuck never needs a clearance.

 

[DannyNoonan]

When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.

 

[PERSON]

Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks weren’t the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has every made.

Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

Chuck Norris has to maintain a concealed weapon license in all 50 states in order to legally wear pants.

There IS only one way to skin a cat because Chuck Norris has the patent on the other 311.

What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris and a pair of cowboy boots? A double roundhouse kick to the head.....Don’t EVER cross Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris is not the type to wear his heart on his sleeve. He will, however, wear your heart on his sleeve if you every make the mistake of touching his beard.

 

[Golden Falcon]

"If an episode of Walker Texas Ranger changed your life...you might be a redneck"...j foxworthy

 

[jeroom]

Chuck Norris once did a 20 minute turn in JFK!

I actually saw Chuck Norris the other day in JFK... He said "what the hell with all that taxiway BS..." HE started his takeoff roll directly from the ramp! HIs Modified CRJ had flames painted all over and afterburners, and a few Guided Air to Air missiles under the wings!

He's no joke!

 

[jeroom]

I forget to mention that he also round-house kicked the gate agents because they were too slow to board, so he did the boarding...Kicked any passengers that didn't wear his seatbelt right away or open his mouth during Chuck safety presentation. He threw 2 packs of dasani in the aisle and a few biscoffs for those who needed them, and then took off!

He has no co pilot...he wear 7 stripes on his shoulders, and the crashaxe on his belt, next to the Uzi!

His Ipod is not white...it's camo painted.

 

[Fred Rogers]

Chuck Norris' CRJ-900's will not be equipped with speedbrakes. He will just stick his bicep out the window.

 

[Capi_Cafre']

FL 410 wants to be in the Chuck Norris club.

 

[snap145]

Gulfstream pays Chuck Norris for training.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Chuck Norris sets the alarm off everytime he goes through security.....because he has balls of steel!
......and an Uzi

 

[Exskydiverdrivr]

An Airtran Spokesperson was quoted as saying. It was very fortunate Captain Norris had agreed to 3 transcon turns in consecutive sequence. Had he stayed on his his original schedule- the parents of the 3 yr. old child might have have more clearly understood why delaying his flights can have dire consequences.

 

[BcPilot99]

Once on a movie set there was a goat that was being used as a prop in the background, and it was hit and killed by a truck in between takes. Chuck Norris saw this and immediately ran over and brought the goat back to life. After the goat stood up and started moving around Chuck Norris swiftly gave the goat a roundhouse kick to the head killing it instantly just to prove that Chuck giveth and Chuck taketh away!!

 

[Guitar Guy]

Chuck has never had to vote on a concessionary contract because no management team has ever had the cojones to offer him one.

 

[DrewBlows]

Chuck Norris made a livable wage as a first year FO at a regional airline.

 

[freeflyer14]

Chuck Norris got a phone number to call for missing a crossing restriction. He proceeded to round-house the controller through the phone line. Chuck Norris does not need or abide by "restrictions".

 

[time builder]

Chuck Norris made a livable wage as a first year FO at a regional airline.

You do err..... Chuck Norris is never second in command. He's more like a street megacaptain (hence the seven stipes mentioned earlier).

 

[DannyNoonan]

hahahahah - seven stripes

this is the best thread ever

 

[Hootie9750]

Chuck Norris always transmits on guard and once roundhouse kicked a guy through the radio for saying "You're on guard!"

LOL!!

 

[DannyNoonan]

chuck norris looked at duane woerth once and scared the hair right off his head!!!

 

[Nindiri]

Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He sits ready reserve.

 

[John Pennekamp]

I once saw Chuck Norris fishing off Islamorada. He didn't need a rod. He got in the water and gave a 4 foot sailfish a roundhouse kick then threw it in the boat.

 

[DrewBlows]

You do err..... Chuck Norris is never second in command. He's more like a street megacaptain (hence the seven stipes mentioned earlier).

Chuck Norris was a First Officer for 20 minutes. That's how long it took him to round house kick everyone ahead of him on the seniority list.

 

[DannyNoonan]

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

 

[willbob]

Chuck Norris is so bad he got 120 million from MAIR holdings

 

[JettBoii]

Chuck runs ATL tower, ground, CD and ramp control while he sleeps.

 

[JettBoii]

All controllers have to spend the tibetan prayer wheel to talk to Chuck.