All I'm saying is, a marriage with two incomes is like a plane with two engines. You lose one, you still stay in the air. Or at least you don't reach the crash site so fast. First a serious point: Those who make a professional salary are able to save for emergencies. Now a fun one: Single engine fighters are very effective. And none of the OT w h o r e s I've met had wives who lost their jobs. Their wives never had jobs to begin with. There are probably pilots not doing OT who also have stay-home wives, supporting their decision. My husband gave up OT and I doubt we're the only 1 income frac family who thinks it's the right thing to do.
I've traveled all over the world, and the only two places I've been where this weird situation (seemingly intelligent, educated women stuck in exclusively domestic roles) seems to exist are here and the Middle East, If we look at the wives of professionals, especially those in demanding occupations that require a lot of time away from the children, I think we'll see stay-home wives/moms all over the world. and it really didn't even come into being here until the fifties. Before that, working class women (and, yes, pilots are working class) They work hard but they have very highly specialized skills that took years to acquire and they are expensive to replace; thus, are more aligned with working professionals --white collar, not blue collar. were just as likely as men to work, even if married. Actually, you've got it backwards. Before WW2 it was unusual to see women in the workplace. They filled jobs left vacant when the men went to war and some of them stayed in the workplace. Then the birth control pill (1960s) enabled more to take jobs outside the home. Our increasing commercialism as a society made 2 income families a "necessity" for most, but professionals (typically higher paid) often have one parent home full time w/their children.
...I believe a working mom is a healthier role model for girls than a stay-at-homer. Both examples have value. That's why I volunteer at my daughter's school. Instilling a good work ethic is the important thing and work is work regardless of where its done or whether you get paid, or not.
And here's another thing. I've made an informal study of friends' wives--those who work versus those who stay at home all day. Those who work seem waaaaayyy happier and, well, normal, to me than those who hang around the house all day trying to invent things to occupy themselves. Informal and unscientific. It boils down to personal interests. I'm sure there are many wives at home that are busy and happy, especially mothers w/kids at home.
A home-bound wife is a luxury item, just like a Lexus or a country club membership or a big boat. If you have one, and you have to pick up every overtime shift that comes along, you get no sympathy from me.