Wierd Capt / FO / FE

[landlover]

I once flew with a guy who wittled a wistle out of wood that sounded like a train wistle. He would put on a train conductors hat and blow the wistle over the PA at the end of his PA's, and then say "AAAAALLLLLL ABOOOORED!" I did a 5 day trip listening to this goofball. When I did my PA's, he would count how many times I said "um" and tell me about it. He also gave PA's at night and told everyone if it were daylight you would see the grand canyon etc... usually this was followed by a call from the stews telling him to ease up on the midnight PA's because he was wakeing up everyone.
Inbetween flights, he would go back into first class and break out this harp like instrument that layed on his lap and play songs for the F/A's.

Another guy I flew with was convinced that Y2K (remember that) was going to be the end of the world. He sold everything he had and converted all his cash to gold, thinking that was the only currency that could be used when the world started going crazy (riots, mass hysteria etc...). He said he built an underground bunker which was full of food, ammo etc...that could be selfreliant for 6 months.

I also flew with another wacko who was a huge conspiracy guy. He said that the exaust from cars had a chemical that the Gov. uses as mind control for all the citizens in the U.S., but he takes some herbal supplement that counter acts this chemical. Also told me Mr. Rodgers used to be a special forces trained killer in Vietnam, and the reason he always wore a long sleeved sweater was that it covered up all his tatoo's, also told me Mr Rodgers also used his show to subliminaly control childrens brains.

What's really insane is that these guys all flew a great airplane.

I wonder if there is a message bored for Doctors somewhere with a similar string!?

YOU WIN!!!!! The part about the train whistle is outrageous, i'm in stitches!!!

 

[NYCPilot]

Can't forget that incident where an AA pilot made religious remarks over the PA calling non-christians "crazy."

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/3472265.stm

 

[psysicx]

I heard the same thing about Mr Rogers. Is there any pics of him w/o long sleeves?

 

[mdf]

I once flew with a guy who wittled a wistle out of wood that sounded like a train wistle. He would put on a train conductors hat and blow the wistle over the PA at the end of his PA's, and then say "AAAAALLLLLL ABOOOORED!" I did a 5 day trip listening to this goofball. When I did my PA's, he would count how many times I said "um" and tell me about it. He also gave PA's at night and told everyone if it were daylight you would see the grand canyon etc... usually this was followed by a call from the stews telling him to ease up on the midnight PA's because he was wakeing up everyone.
Inbetween flights, he would go back into first class and break out this harp like instrument that layed on his lap and play songs for the F/A's.

Another guy I flew with was convinced that Y2K (remember that) was going to be the end of the world. He sold everything he had and converted all his cash to gold, thinking that was the only currency that could be used when the world started going crazy (riots, mass hysteria etc...). He said he built an underground bunker which was full of food, ammo etc...that could be selfreliant for 6 months.

I also flew with another wacko who was a huge conspiracy guy. He said that the exaust from cars had a chemical that the Gov. uses as mind control for all the citizens in the U.S., but he takes some herbal supplement that counter acts this chemical. Also told me Mr. Rodgers used to be a special forces trained killer in Vietnam, and the reason he always wore a long sleeved sweater was that it covered up all his tatoo's, also told me Mr Rodgers also used his show to subliminaly control childrens brains.

What's really insane is that these guys all flew a great airplane.

I wonder if there is a message bored for Doctors somewhere with a similar
string!?

You have my vote also. I will be laughing about the Mr. Rodgers thing for a while!!

 

[xdrvr]

Got a guy at our company we call WMD (weapon of mass destruction) everything he touches turns to ... part of your MEL should include a NASA form when you're flyin w/him

 

[Mr Hat]

also told me Mr Rodgers also used his show to subliminaly control childrens brains.

Mr Rogers? No....Now Barney on the other hand. Can you say New World Order?

Alright, I gotta tell it.
We had a Captain at my airline, good guy, I flew with him a few times when I was an FO and got along great with him. Been fired a few times, lots of sexual harassment stuff. I don't get offended by anything so we got along great.

Anyway...he had just come back from a sexual harassment "leave"...went to Mexico on an overnight. On the overnight he went out drinkin (within the time limit of course) and had a grand old time. The next day at the airplane he insisted on doing to walk around. The FO didn't think anything of it and just did his thing. They flew a few legs that day and this Captain insisted on doing to walk around every time. By the end of the day he was met by customs and some management folk.

It seems that while on the overnight in Mexico, he rented a gas scooter. When he left Mexico he brought the scooter with him. He put a crew tag on it and at every station he would get out and tell the rampers that it was his and make sure he kept it on the plane. Got snagged for importing goods without paying taxes on them and got fired for transporting hazardous materials (it still had some oil in the engine but no gas). And he didn't even get to keep the scooter. If this story were about anyone else, I'd never believe it. The FO had no idea what was going on until they were met by the authorities.

 

[klhoard]

. . .<snip>. . .

Another guy I flew with was convinced that Y2K (remember that) was going to be the end of the world. He sold everything he had and converted all his cash to gold, thinking that was the only currency that could be used when the world started going crazy (riots, mass hysteria etc...). He said he built an underground bunker which was full of food, ammo etc...that could be selfreliant for 6 months.. . .<snip>. .

.
.
.
Didn't everyone??
.
.
.

 

[HalinTexas]

ATA had the offspring of a very significant aircraft disigner/manufacturer. {cough Lear cough}

This guy had flown all kinds of aircraft. Heard he was a great stick. Was kind of a f#$%up in his dad's eyes. The was an "Area 51" nut. Lived in LAS with a showgirl and did a radio show espousing the UFO cover up. Mgt. asked him to leave after a couple of warnings.

 

[XTW]

I once flew with a guy who wittled a wistle out of wood that sounded like a train wistle. He would put on a train conductors hat and blow the wistle over the PA at the end of his PA's, and then say "AAAAALLLLLL ABOOOORED!" I did a 5 day trip listening to this goofball. When I did my PA's, he would count how many times I said "um" and tell me about it. He also gave PA's at night and told everyone if it were daylight you would see the grand canyon etc... usually this was followed by a call from the stews telling him to ease up on the midnight PA's because he was wakeing up everyone.
Inbetween flights, he would go back into first class and break out this harp like instrument that layed on his lap and play songs for the F/A's.

If his initials were T.M., I think I flew with him on the L10. Not long after that he was ordered to cease and desist with the whistle.


X

 

[mdf]

ATA had the offspring of a very significant aircraft disigner/manufacturer. {cough Lear cough}

Lived in LAS with a showgirl.

Can't be all bad..

 

[AKAAB]

We have a few.

Thank God one of them is retiring on Friday! ::snip::

"Holy bananas! We're 20 minutes early. Is this anyway to run an airline? You bet it is".

Again, thank God he's retiring on Friday. I'll never have to fly with him again. Another one of the horrible hundred gone forever!

GP

Yeah, I skipped the party, too.

Not so sure about the "horrible hundred". I think you'll find the wildcards pretty much in the first three classes. After that, it's the 5% rule on down the line. Think about it...

Frankly, I can do without the guys that insist on providing their own boarding music and hanging dice or other talismans on the panel. Grow up and show some respect for your position, please.

 

[Road Rash]

This may have been coverd, buuut, what really pushes my buttons is the micro manager captian. I had this one guy who tell me to call ground every time after push back... After a couple of weeks of this I would just look at him and reeeaaalllly. I dont think he ever got it...

 

[JOIF18]

FedEx1, I flew with a guy that did that, too. Probably the same guy... just a few weeks ago. Kinda caught me by surprise. No notice, no nothing, just a "happy snap" for the scrapbook I guess.

 

[FedEx1]

Yeah, if "that guy" has the initials, D.E... must be him. Weird.....

 

[Special Ed]

I was crop dusting in Arkansas for a pretty low buck operation that attracted all sorts of nuts. Us younger guys were there building time, hoping for a better seat the next year, and the older guys were there because they had "problems", and no one else would hire them. The owner had a party for us at a local beach (just a gravel bar on the river, but a popular local hangout) One of the older pilots shows up naked...just got out of his truck, and walked to where we all were, flips open a lawn chair, flops down & cracks a beer like it's nothin special. There were kids running around, guys wives and girlfriends... were all sort of thinking WTF. I'd say he lasted about an half an hour or so, no one was talking to him, so he just packs up the lawnchair, walks back to his truck and leaves, still naked as the day he was born. I reckon the sun was too much for big moe and the twins.

 

[Resume Writer]

.

Come on - Let's hear about the reeeaaalllly bad ones.....................

We have one Captain nicknamed "Peek-a-boo"

Another one was fired after he hung out a cockpit window to clean the windscreen while his FO taxied - apparently forgot to take his Prozac

.

I remember both of those pilots well. We used to call the second Captain you referenced as "Jiminy Cricket." I was flying with him once to New York. He was very big into Ballooning. He won an award from Popular Science and that was the reason why he picked up the trip. Anyhow, in the morning we were all waiting for the van in the hotel lobby that was to drive us to JFK. He had his award "unwrapped" and proudly displayed for all of us to see. His friend was with him, and that gentleman still had his award wrapped up.

FWIW, he always backed up the flight attendants. I remember one time he came out of the cockpit, while we still on the ground, and reprimanded a passenger who was giving us grief.

As for Peek-A-Boo, you have to understand the story of how he got his name. Allegedly he would use dental mirrors to look under the doors of FAs in hotels to see if he could catch a glimpse of anything. There was also a rumor that he somehow would make his way into FAs rooms and somehow pry out the peephole and turn it around so he could see inside their room while out in the hall.

I will never forget a flight attendant I was flying with came back from the cockpit and said, "Guess who we are flying with? He held up a napkin to his eye, where he had punched out a hole, and had "Room 208" printed on it. We all knew who the Captain was without ever having to ask!

We also had a Captain on the 757 who was very methodical about the way he ate his food. He would eat fried rice and push it all into a big pile on his plate. He would then take a bite, and proceed to push it all back together again. After about the 10th time he did this, I left the cockpit.

We had a First Officer, now a Captain, who we nicknamed "stinky." He would wear the SAME uniform shirt for his entire 4-day trip. By the 4th day, he was, well, stinky!

We also had a Captain (reference "Gone with the Wind" for his name) who would clean the "door sills" on the aircraft. He would open the aircraft door on the ground and proceed to clean the inside. He actually pointed this out to me one time, and said that it made the aircraft perform better or something like that!

I guess I could go on forever!

Kathy

 

[Ty Webb]

The owner had a party for us at a local beach (just a gravel bar on the river, but a popular local hangout) One of the older pilots shows up naked...just got out of his truck, and walked to where we all were, flips open a lawn chair, flops down & cracks a beer like it's nothin special.

You know, a lot of time has passed . . . . we've all moved on. Whadda ya say we just forget all about it, OK? It won't happen again, I promise.

 

[Donald]

I've had plenty of captains wipe down everything with an alcohol wipe and once, I had one that pulled out a paint brush and started dusting. But a buddy of mine actually had one that wore surgical gloves while in the seat.

 

[AKAAB]

I've had plenty of captains wipe down everything with an alcohol wipe and once, I had one that pulled out a paint brush and started dusting. But a buddy of mine actually had one that wore surgical gloves while in the seat.

Okay, flag on the play - ten yards for unnecessary roughness. If all of the Captains are so foul, what's the problem with trying to avoid catching whatever disease they picked up on the last layover? Call me weird, but I also wash my hands whether they need it or not.

As for dusting, the cockpit is our office and some of us prefer not to have someone visit the cockpit and notice the cookie chunks and Dorito fallout wedged in the panel gaps. Now, some guys are obsessive about it, but I think trying to keep the cockpit relatively clean is not out of the ordinary.

And, FO's, if a Captain offers you a breath mint, take it!

AKAAB

 

[semperfido]

i always thought the lav on an airliner must be one of the nastiest places on the planet.