What's the dumbest thing a crew has ever asked or requested?

[10early?]

Razor, if you still had the Corps in your blood, you'd just follow orders and "take that airport" hehehehehehehe. Not really, just kidding. I know you guys take that Marine stuff seriously. On a lighter note, can't we all just get along? Remember, there's always some regional guy that'll take your flight, but not that many out there that are stupid enough to dispatch 50 or 60 flights a day (I'm one of them). In the case about HPN, both pilot and dispatcher were at fault, and the cross-check system failed. Luckily, nothing got bent and no-one got hurt. I agree about observation, though..... the "Big Picture" is hard to explain to someone in another room. Heck, it's hard to understand when you're right in front of it and you are the one 'painting' it (I'm all for paint-by-numbers). As a part-time crew-dog myself, I know what it's like to have a long crew duty day and still try and make sense of some arcane b*s plate or paperwork. It's nice to have someone looking out for you, but it's like a gun.... never assume it's safe, because it might kill you. I never assume that the pilot knows everything I do about a certain flight, and he should never assume I know all HE (or she) does about it, either. We're all part of the same team, or so I'm told.
Let's start a separate thread entitled "What's the dumbest thing a dispatcher has ever done to you......"

 

[SKC]

You're more than welcome to, in the appropriate forum.

 

[Morning Wood]

Kack,

You should tell the story about the FA that called you expressing his concern about unpressurized flight.

Anywho, I had a FA call me last night demanding that I swap her deadhead flight to another aircraft, because she was tired of waiting for her aircraft to arrive. She couldn't grasp the concept that aircraft are routed to certain places for operational purposes and she continued to complain that she had plans and that she was going to miss out if I didn't do this swap. When i told her no she flipped the hell out and started blaming me for ruining her plans. WTFO?

I can beat that. RNO closed one afternoon about 1p due to a blizzard. I had the crew repo the plane from SJC to SLC so they'd be in position for the next morning. The F/A called me to complain that she bid RNO overnights to work a second job and demanded that I get her to RNO.

 

[Morning Wood]

Dispatchers, schedulers, rampers, mechanics, etc are there to help the pilots execute the mission. The FAR's even spell that relationship out in clear, unambiguous language. The PIC is allowed to deviate from any FAR to prevent something icky happening to the passengers or aircraft. I'm not familiar with a similar FAR regarding dispatchers, mechanics, (both of whom are also FAA certificated), or rampers that allow such unfettered discretion.



They don't, and I think that's one of the reasons they are spectacular losers. I think every new-hire pilot should have to "plug in" with Dispatch for a "push" to see what is going on, and get a touch - see - hear idea of what resources are available to him/her. It'd be nice if pilots had a clue of how busy the SOC gets whenever wx crumps a hub, and 100 flights are all barking for some direction from Dispatch...but I'd settle for just of taste of ops during a hub bank.

I also think all new captains should have to observe a "push" in Approach Control at one of our hubs. I think that would be an eye-opener too.

In 1993, when our brilliant management moved our SOC away from the airport (where pilots congregate during "productivity breaks") we lost the personal contact we had with the Planners, Meteorologists (we still have those), Schedulers, and Dispatchers. Now those folks are just a voice, or plain green text on an ACARS screen.

With moving SOC's away from the airport and all the massive hiring, everyone has become so disconnected with what each other does it's not funny. Not having any training or recurrent in the same city as the SOC has not helped either. There's no understanding or respect for anyone anymore. I hear a lot of phone calls where people on both sides of the conversation are so far out of line, I'm embarassed. Just do the job. It's not necessary to constantly be looking for people's mistakes and then tell the whole world about it. Just take care of what you need to and move on. It isn't that hard, but some of you (both pilots and dispatchers) sure make it more difficult than it needs to be.

 

[ShutupandFly]

Dispatchers, schedulers, rampers, mechanics, etc are there to help the pilots execute the mission. The FAR's even spell that relationship out in clear, unambiguous language. The PIC is allowed to deviate from any FAR to prevent something icky happening to the passengers or aircraft. I'm not familiar with a similar FAR regarding dispatchers, mechanics, (both of whom are also FAA certificated), or rampers that allow such unfettered discretion.

Feeling a little self important today?
FAR 121.557 (b)

(b) In an emergency situation arising during flight that requires immediate decision and action by an aircraft dispatcher, and that is known to him, the aircraft dispatcher shall advise the pilot in command of the emergency, shall ascertain the decision of the pilot in command, and shall have the decision recorded. If the aircraft dispatcher cannot communicate with the pilot, he shall declare an emergency and take any action that he considers necessary under the circumstances.

 

[SSDD]

I think that the uber egos here don't all belong to the pilots. How often does an emergency arise that the dispatcher becomes aware before the pilot, AND THEN, the dispatcher can't get a hold of the flight?

In almost 25 years of professional flying that has never happened to me or anyone else I know!

That's like the private pilot sitting in the back of the airplane hoping that the pilots get food poisoning or something like that so he can save the day.

I'm not minimizing the role of the dispatcher in commercial operations. We are all part of the team and should all work together, but let's not go crazy.

 

[RJAA]

I think that the uber egos here don't all belong to the pilots. How often does an emergency arise that the dispatcher becomes aware before the pilot, AND THEN, the dispatcher can't get a hold of the flight?

In almost 25 years of professional flying that has never happened to me or anyone else I know!

How often? Hopefully never, but you are missing the point, your dispatcher is there to declare emergency for you if/when you are unable to declare one for yourself. God forbid, during hijack situations when you can't contact the ATC or just can't reach for that transponder, you have another way of reaching someone on the ground, or maybe late at night, if no one can confirm you have landed in GTR or BQK or other places where you are below radar contact and the tower is closed and nobody has put "on and in" times, and not quite sure where you are, that's when the dispatcher would ring all the bells and whistles.

 

[SSDD]

You only quote part of what I posted!!!

I get the point. You didn't quote the part where I wrote that we're all part of a team, we each have our responsibilities, and should work together.

But see you only take the part of the job that makes you seem more important. No need.

BTW at one of the outfits I worked at, we had a cleaner who was responsible for calling the sheriff if any of the airplanes we not accounted for. That didn't make him a dispatcher!

 

[ShutupandFly]

I think that the uber egos here don't all belong to the pilots. How often does an emergency arise that the dispatcher becomes aware before the pilot, AND THEN, the dispatcher can't get a hold of the flight?

In almost 25 years of professional flying that has never happened to me or anyone else I know!

That's like the private pilot sitting in the back of the airplane hoping that the pilots get food poisoning or something like that so he can save the day.

I'm not minimizing the role of the dispatcher in commercial operations. We are all part of the team and should all work together, but let's not go crazy.

I have to take issue with your pvt pilot comment. I do not hope that day ever comes.

 

[SSDD]

I have to take issue with your pvt pilot comment. I do not hope that day ever comes.

I saw a poll a while back that made that the number one fantasy among begining aviators.

 

[ShutupandFly]

Maybe you missed my point. I hope I am never in a position as a dispatcher to have to declare an emergency for a flight.

 

[SSDD]

Got it.

 

[WarnerNo13]

You only quote part of what I posted!!!

I get the point. You didn't quote the part where I wrote that we're all part of a team, we each have our responsibilities, and should work together.

But see you only take the part of the job that makes you seem more important. No need.

BTW at one of the outfits I worked at, we had a cleaner who was responsible for calling the sheriff if any of the airplanes we not accounted for. That didn't make him a dispatcher!

The fact that the cleaner does not have a legal responsibility for the whereabouts of the aircraft is what doesn't make him a dispatcher. By being licensed dispatchers we have JOINT authority with the flight crew and the authority to declare an emergency when deemed necessary. We are here to make sure your plane is where it needs to be when it needs to be there, and we have to answer for not just your flight, but hundreds of flights a day. We are no more or less important than you as pilots. We take our responsibilites very seriously (most of us) and we are not just here to push pencils. Take some time to get to know the workings of being a dispatcher. Take a day off and learn something. Sit with a dispatcher and watch real life the juggling of responsibilities that go on, on a daily basis. We are required to sit in your cockpit and observe why you do what you do. Unfortunately the same is not required of you and it should be.

 

[CA1900]

We are no more or less important than you as pilots.

Uhhh... no. Let's say one of us drops dead in the middle of the afternoon while the flight is in the air. Honestly, you're telling me that you believe losing a dispatcher will have as much of an impact on the safety of a flight as losing a pilot? Come on.

You fulfill an important function, and while you're jointly responsible for the flight, you're not the one in charge of it. That's the nature of your job.

 

[SSDD]

WE ARE NO MORE OR LESS IMPORTAMT THAN YOU PILOTS

Which is exactly the point that I am making!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Its just that some of you are hung up on this authority to declare an emergency thing!