What's the dumbest thing a crew has ever asked or requested?

[ShutupandFly]

Really.... I can do my job without any dispatchers, can you do yours without any pilots?

Really... you must be flying 135 or supplemental.

 

[DCT MYS]

Really.... I can do my job without any dispatchers, can you do yours without any pilots?

Perhaps you could but you certainly wouldn't fly as much. I can see you now coming in after every leg to run a flight plan, file your fp, review all weather, check the atc system for gdp/ground stops/reroutes(playbooks), etc(which is much more).It is crazy the pissing fight dx and pilots get in. Dispatchers and pilots need to work as a team it benefits all. There is enough comic relief on both sides.

 

[propsarebest]

Really.... I can do my job without any dispatchers, can you do yours without any pilots?

I'd like to see you file a flight plan, especially an ICAO one...

 

[CA1900]

I'd like to see you file a flight plan, especially an ICAO one...

There isn't an airline pilot here who hasn't filed his own IFR flight plans. We've had plenty of experience in that department.

 

[ArcticFlier]

You mean one of these? Intimidating........




http://http://www.flightplanning.navcanada.ca/awws/html/doc/autres/flight_plan.pdf



AF

 

[Mr Wu]

You mean one of these? Intimidating........




http://http://www.flightplanning.navcanada.ca/awws/html/doc/autres/flight_plan.pdf



AF

You can't link for sh1t

 

[CRJDispatchKid]

You probably could if the link was...

http://www.flightplanning.navcanada.ca/awws/html/doc/autres/flight_plan.pdf

 

[405]

CRJDispatchKid beat me correcting the link...

Mr Wu, that's an international flight plan and is also known as an ICAO flight plan. Flight Simmer's like yourself don't have to file things like this from the basement at Mom's house when you file your virtual airline flight plan. As always, get your Mom's permission before you use the computer.

 

[doh]

I had a captain tonight demand an alternate because in his FAR's said that FEW005 constitutes a ceiling and he needed to know where to go if he couldn't get in.

The same captain, several months ago, "instructed" me that the 1 2 3 rule also states that an alternate is required if there are CB's in the forecast.

I must have missed these changes to the rules.

The dumbest thing a crew ever asked was why Michigan couldn't have a second chance to play for the national championship! The second dumbest thing ever was when an Ohio pilot wanted to bet me on the Gators osu national championship! Hahaha! Losers! :laugh:

 

[Mr Wu]

CRJDispatchKid beat me correcting the link...

Mr Wu, that's an international flight plan and is also known as an ICAO flight plan. Flight Simmer's like yourself don't have to file things like this from the basement at Mom's house when you file your virtual airline flight plan. As always, get your Mom's permission before you use the computer.

I can pretty much guarantee that I've filed more of those than you've flown. How come nearly all of you dispatchers are either pilots or are taking flight lessons but nearly none of the pilots are dispatchers? Things that make you go hmm.

 

[ArcticFlier]

You can't link for sh1t

Big freakin' deal. I was in a hurry, and didn't check my work. Oooooh......


Kiss my a$$...




AF

 

[405]

I can pretty much guarantee that I've filed more of those than you've flown.

Wu, I can pretty much guarantee that I don't really give a rat's *** how much you've flown, what you've flown, where you've flown to or from or what you're going to fly in the future.

How come nearly all of you dispatchers are either pilots or are taking flight lessons but nearly none of the pilots are dispatchers?

I like that: you dispatchers. Spoken like a true arrogant a** like yourself.

I don't know the answer to your question. Maybe they fly for fun.

Concur with Artic's final remark on his last post.

 

[405]

Wu, I'm gonna assume your first name is Richard so I'll just call you Dick for short from now on if that's okay. It's either Dick or Wutard. Which one do you like better? Both of the names fit. I think you should be Dicktard from now on but that's a little harsh so we'll just stay with Dick. Cool with you?

 

[propsarebest]

I can pretty much guarantee that I've filed more of those than you've flown. How come nearly all of you dispatchers are either pilots or are taking flight lessons but nearly none of the pilots are dispatchers? Things that make you go hmm.

Not me pal, I am not a pile-it. I simply don't have the ego for it. and I guarantee that I have filed more flights than you have flown, so there.
ahh, and by the way, EAT ME.

 

[homerjdispatch]

Not me pal, I am not a pile-it. I simply don't have the ego for it. and I guarantee that I have filed more flights than you have flown, so there.
ahh, and by the way, EAT ME.

Props, you da MAN!!!

 

[XPOO]

Most dumb thing a pilot has ever said? Hmmm...

This one time, some arrogant prick named Mr. Wu came into a thread he had no business being in, and spouted a whole bunch of mindless dribble. You should have been there to see it, made you feel sorry for the little guy because it was obvious he didn't have a life.

 

[homerjdispatch]

Most dumb thing a pilot has ever said? Hmmm...

This one time, some arrogant prick named Mr. Wu came into a thread he had no business being in, and spouted a whole bunch of mindless dribble. You should have been there to see it, made you feel sorry for the little guy because it was obvious he didn't have a life.

Are you referring to all these brillant statements below by Mr. Wu?

One thing you guys need to realize is that when we call you we're not asking your permission, we're telling you what we're going to do. You can save yourself a whole lot of heartburn by just agreeing with us.

The truth about dispatchers declaring an emergency when the pilot can't be contacted.....


ATC: Flight 123, you copy

F123: Go ahead.

ATC: Your dispatcher declared an emergency because he can't contact you. Proceed to your alternate, XYZ.

F123: Standby. (tries to contact dispatch, but can't)

F123: ATC, we're unable to contact dispatch. Can you do a phone patch.

ATC: No. Too busy.

F123: Did they say the nature of the emergency?

ATC: Negative.

F123: We're unable to verify that the call came from our dispatch so I am proceeding to our destination ABC. If he calls back tell him to pound sand.

So, you acknowledge that you declaring an emergency and being unable to contact the crew is BS so you use my post to illustrate how ATC may not be able to contact us and will ask you to help. Just like Occam's razor says, no matter who declares the emergency the guy in the left seat has the last say in what happens with the flight regardless of what they told you at Sheffield.

You can't link for sh1t

can pretty much guarantee that I've filed more of those than you've flown. How come nearly all of you dispatchers are either pilots or are taking flight lessons but nearly none of the pilots are dispatchers? Things that make you go hmm.

 

[XPOO]

Yeah, it's great to see someone else was there to enjoy all of that. Sad aint it?

 

[CA1900]

Are you referring to all these brillant statements ...

Oh, the irony.....

 

[homerjdispatch]

Oh, the irony.....

You are right....I should have left brillant out....This whole thread is full of brillant remarks by both dispatchers and pilots.

 

[XPOO]

I think he meant, "Oh, the VERBAL irony."

If not, then I find it ironic that there was no irony beforehand to warrant such a statement.

 

[ArcticFlier]

There's no irony in brilliance!

Mr. Wu eats his own boogers............


Whatever..............I'm tired..................


AF

 

[sir5list]

How bout this:

Pilot: I want 3000 lbs extra fuel (ATL - JFK on a CRJ2)

DX: How come? Did I miss something?

Pilot: Don't know if you know, but there is weather up there (current wx has light rain in the vicinity, no alt required)

DX: Ya I know about the wx, I gave you an alt anyway!

Pilot: I want the extra 3000!

DX: Look, I gave you an alt and an extra 1000 for MIT potential. You've got 2800 extra lbs!

Pilot: I don't know if you know this, but this RJ has rivets popping out! This will increase the drag thus requiring the extra 3000 lbs for extra burn!

DX: Time and Initials are--------

 

[onewithwings]

The same captain, several months ago, "instructed" me that the 1 2 3 rule also states that an alternate is required if there are CB's in the forecast.

Canadian rules do require and alternate if CB's are in the metar or forecast for Canadian destinations.

I had a Capt. call for a take-off alternate...then asked me what his take-off alternate fuel was.

 

[falconpilot]

Why I keep coming back to this thread... I don't know? BUT
Mr. Wu.. Your just a freakin idot... Keep your mouth closed, enjoy your little right seat job in a 1900. Your letting your aligator mouth overload your hummingbird brain... Keep telling yourself that you know what your doing.. You probably couldnt find your a$$ with both hands.

 

[405]

There are dog turds in my back yard that impress me more than Wutard. One of my dogs just shat a fat, gnarly pile and I wondered if it could possibly be Wutard here to visit me?

Wutard, are you here to visit? Are you laying in the backyard?

 

[whatfuelpolicy]

Canadian rules do require and alternate if CB's are in the metar or forecast for Canadian destinations.

I had a Capt. call for a take-off alternate...then asked me what his take-off alternate fuel was.

We quit flying into 3rd world countries before I got to my airline, so I am not familiar with Canadian rules.