Two people in Aviation with Kids. Does it work?

[capt. megadeth]

Mega, how long you been dating your BF? When is the wedding, if any?

Dated 2 years. Living together 5 years. Engaged 4 years. Together 6 years. The wedding was supposed to be in 05 but I got called to go to class at UPS so we cancelled it. It's on indefinite hold due to reasons that are kind of out of our control . (I'd rather not post it on here but it's not relationship issues or anything like that).

 

[capt. megadeth]

uh, sweet cakes, you aren't the only one worried about that. He is too...

But of course, who would have thought that....

Sugarplum, of course he is. We don't obsess over it but we are realists.

 

[satpak77]

1.HUH?!?!?
NO CLUE as to what you are getting at here.
People change yet take responsibility for your actions and don't blame the SOB for being an a$$?????? Who are you supposed to blame? Yourself? People change but it's all your fault that you didn't see it coming? No f***ing clue as to what in the world you are getting at here. All I see this is all the more reason to have a backup plan of your own so you don't have to stay with someone if they become that way. NEXT!!!!

2. I don't know what a female pilot is supposed to do. I never really worried about FAs as competition. I do know a few that slept with pilots and got themselves pregnant on purpose. Don't feel sorry for them or the dumba$$ that knocked them up.

3. That's right. Cheating males and females. Have you ever been to Clark? Where do you fly, Pleasantville?

4. I don't remember a lot of rumors about nurses and infidelity but women aren't angels either.

Observations

1) You are off radar coverage on whatever you two are talking about, so I will move on....

2) Sleeping around has nothing to do with "job title" but with Biology. Why, I have known FAs, teachers, female pilots, nurses, etc to sleep around. All females in these categories. It is not a "horny FA thing".

3) See 2

4) See 2, women are NOT angels. I have had more offers and "chances" SINCE I started wearing a wedding ring than ANYTIME before, all added up. I take my kids and my dear wife to her friends house, who pinches their cheeks, etc, and I later get a "surprise call" on my cell from her, letting me know to "give her a call" to "let her know how I am doing" (info easily obtained from my wife, her "friend") and that next time I drive to "ABC city", to "let her know, she would like to go with me to pick some things up"

HMMMMMM

4a) Women, biological creatures, with sexual needs, are just as bad if not worse than men. TRUST ME on this.

 

[satpak77]

Dated 2 years. Living together 5 years. Engaged 4 years. Together 6 years. The wedding was supposed to be in 05 but I got called to go to class at UPS so we cancelled it. It's on indefinite hold due to reasons that are kind of out of our control . (I'd rather not post it on here but it's not relationship issues or anything like that).

Or, in other words, whether or not you get married to this guy is out of your control.

I suppose since 2005, there has been NO chance to marry this guy? (It was planned for 2005...).

We are not talking a wedding in Nevis. Go to the court, get it done. You love him right? 6 years? How long is "enough?" etc etc

stop lying to yourself and to him

 

[capt. megadeth]

2) Sleeping around has nothing to do with "job title" but with Biology. Why, I have known FAs, teachers, female pilots, nurses, etc to sleep around. All females in these categories. It is not a "horny FA thing".

4a) Women, biological creatures, with sexual needs, are just as bad if not worse than men. TRUST ME on this.

2. Thanks for pointing out the obvious.

4a. Well, my honey and I have debates on this too. He thinks women are worse, I think men are worse. Let's agree that there are men and women that cheat. I would think you would agree with me that it's wrong.

 

[satpak77]

can't edit on FI anymore?

Dated 2 years. Living together 5 years. Engaged 4 years. Together 6 years. The wedding was supposed to be in 05 but I got called to go to class at UPS so we cancelled it. It's on indefinite hold due to reasons that are kind of out of our control . (I'd rather not post it on here but it's not relationship issues or anything like that).

i guess we can't edit anymore.

Lets rephrase the above, but repackaged in "reality format" (you of your own admission are a realist)

1. Indefinite Hold? That is nice talk to help you sleep at night. The wedding is CANCELLED.
2. Sadly, for unknown reasons, you had no input or influence on your own wedding.
3. Nobody would have concluded "relationship issues" but since you said it first, I think it is. Two people do not get engaged, set a wedding, then cancel it, and not have "relationship issues" as a portion of the cancellation package.
4. Going to class at UPS, a major achievement (congrats, now lets maybe get some of your aviation success to bleed into your personal life), is reason to get married, to celebrate, "I made it", etc. "No more eating Ramen soup, living on CFI pay" etc. Getting hired at UPS is the antithesis of a reason to CANCEL a wedding. Re-set the date, ok. CANCEL IT? By the way, since you stated that you cancelled it, own up to it, and stop using "indefinite hold." That is wishy-washy talk, more delusions that are not helping you two.

 

[satpak77]

2. Thanks for pointing out the obvious.

4a. Well, my honey and I have debates on this too. He thinks women are worse, I think men are worse. Let's agree that there are men and women that cheat. I would think you would agree with me that it's wrong.

It is wrong, yes. The attractant is the risk. Sex is sex. Close your eyes with your husband, and he can be Brad Pitt (try it). Sex is a mechanical process.

However, put risk, emotion, playfulness, etc, into the picture and you have the makings of affairs, cheating, etc.

I have never known a women (or man) who cheated who just bumped into a person on the bus, boom, lets have sex, ok we are done, hey see ya. Never

I have seen in every case a systematic cultivation of risk, attraction, danger, etc, resulting in the main event.

Women cheat out of emotion and to fill a void, physical and or emotional. To feel wanted, to feel protected. I have never met any confident, non-lonely, self-fulfilled women, who were out cheating. Not one. Women cheat because they are looking for something. They also cheat to "get back" at someone.

Men cheat to get laid, and thats about it.

(99% of the time....)

 

[FlyUnited]

"pesky, dirty FA's"....? Are you serious??????? All the good info comes from the f/a's.

 

[FlyUnited]

Satpak has it right.

 

[capt. megadeth]

Please mind your own business. Thank you.

i guess we can't edit anymore.

Lets rephrase the above, but repackaged in "reality format" (you of your own admission are a realist)

1. Indefinite Hold? That is nice talk to help you sleep at night. The wedding is CANCELLED.
2. Sadly, for unknown reasons, you had no input or influence on your own wedding.
3. Nobody would have concluded "relationship issues" but since you said it first, I think it is. Two people do not get engaged, set a wedding, then cancel it, and not have "relationship issues" as a portion of the cancellation package.
4. Going to class at UPS, a major achievement (congrats, now lets maybe get some of your aviation success to bleed into your personal life), is reason to get married, to celebrate, "I made it", etc. "No more eating Ramen soup, living on CFI pay" etc. Getting hired at UPS is the antithesis of a reason to CANCEL a wedding. Re-set the date, ok. CANCEL IT? By the way, since you stated that you cancelled it, own up to it, and stop using "indefinite hold." That is wishy-washy talk, more delusions that are not helping you two.

 

[FlyUnited]

Satpak has it right.

It was getting late, I should have explained myself. He got it right on that ONE tiny little point. Besides that, nada.

 

[Rez O. Lewshun]

1.HUH?!?!?
NO CLUE as to what you are getting at here.
People change yet take responsibility for your actions and don't blame the SOB for being an a$$?????? Who are you supposed to blame? Yourself? People change but it's all your fault that you didn't see it coming? No f***ing clue as to what in the world you are getting at here. All I see this is all the more reason to have a backup plan of your own so you don't have to stay with someone if they become that way. NEXT!!!!

.

Its seems from the limited perspective of the moniker message boards, you want the benefits of a long term stable relationship with a ready to go, easily accessable escape plan. In general, many might hesitate to commit if the partner was holding hands on one side with the other hand on the eject lever...

 

[capt. megadeth]

Sure.....whatever your two (you and satpak) twisted little minds want to think. I really don't give a $hit what you two think. I am done with this thread.

Its seems from the limited perspective of the moniker message boards, you want the benefits of a long term stable relationship with a ready to go, easily accessable escape plan. In general, many might hesitate to commit if the partner was holding hands on one side with the other hand on the eject lever...

 

[John Pennekamp]

Hey Megadeath, just ignore these chauvinist pigs. My wife makes an excellent point when she says NO MAN could handle it if they woke up and found they had traded places with their pregnant, career minded wife. And the constant whining would be hysterical.

They have no idea what they're talking about. Just ignore them and quit letting them rile you up. Good luck.

 

[Rez O. Lewshun]

]Hey Megadeath, just ignore these chauvinist pigs. My wife makes an excellent point when she says NO MAN could handle it if they woke up and found they had traded places with their pregnant, career minded wife. And the constant whining would be hysterical.

That's right. There are plenty of things that a woman can do better than me... We are not equal. We need each other to make the best of life. Can I do what a woman does? Sure and so can they... but its easier when we work together and use each others strengths.... that's chauvinists?

They have no idea what they're talking about. Just ignore them and quit letting them rile you up. Good luck.

All good on the home front....

 

[capt. megadeth]

Hey Megadeath, just ignore these chauvinist pigs. My wife makes an excellent point when she says NO MAN could handle it if they woke up and found they had traded places with their pregnant, career minded wife. And the constant whining would be hysterical.

They have no idea what they're talking about. Just ignore them and quit letting them rile you up. Good luck.

LOL!

Thanks!

 

[Flyer1015]

Wait a minute Megadeth, from the SWA thread, you said you weren't the wedding type and that a wedding wasn't necessary to raise kids, and all that stuff.

Now you're saying here you were planning to get married in 2005, but held it off due to being hired at UPS?

That does paint an entirely new picture than the one you initially provided me...

 

[John Pennekamp]

Can I do what a woman does? Sure and so can they... but its easier when we work together and use each others strengths.... that's chauvinists?

What's chauvinist is that you insist you can do what they do. You can't and you'll never have to. This is why she told you to "shut your pie hole". If you're male, you have no idea how much pressure the modern woman faces having to decide between career and family, especially in aviation. As many have pointed out here, in this business, you can't just take a few years off, then go back like most careers. Take a few moments and imagine yourself in her situation before you lecture. What would YOU do?

From the moment a woman makes it known she's pregnant, she's expected to take her career off the table and put her family first. Everyone she encounters throughout her pregnancy will ask her if she's going to quit or how she's going to do it. Our society expects women to be equals professionally, but in the background they're still expected to be June Cleaver. That's not fair.

 

[John Pennekamp]

LOL!

Thanks!

Yeah, I thought that visual would cheer you up. I'd like to see them try. Good luck.

 

[capt. megadeth]

Wait a minute Megadeth, from the SWA thread, you said you weren't the wedding type and that a wedding wasn't necessary to raise kids, and all that stuff.

Now you're saying here you were planning to get married in 2005, but held it off due to being hired at UPS?

That does paint an entirely new picture than the one you initially provided me...

I'm not really the wedding type and I don't think a wedding is necessary to raise kids but I do want to marry my honey cuz I love him with all my heart and soul and I want to spend the rest of my life with him.

However, we have other things going on right now that I don't care to share on the board. We will get married after a certain "situation" is taken care of but I am in no hurry.

 

[capt. megadeth]

Dude! I LOVE YOU!

A guy that gets it...

:beer:

What's chauvinist is that you insist you can do what they do. You can't and you'll never have to. This is why she told you to "shut your pie hole". If you're male, you have no idea how much pressure the modern woman faces having to decide between career and family, especially in aviation. As many have pointed out here, in this business, you can't just take a few years off, then go back like most careers. Take a few moments and imagine yourself in her situation before you lecture. What would YOU do?

From the moment a woman makes it known she's pregnant, she's expected to take her career off the table and put her family first. Everyone she encounters throughout her pregnancy will ask her if she's going to quit or how she's going to do it. Our society expects women to be equals professionally, but in the background they're still expected to be June Cleaver. That's not fair.

 

[John Pennekamp]

Dude! I LOVE YOU!

A guy that gets it...

:beer:

Though pilots tend to have a propensity for it, not all guys are d*cks. Some of us do "get it".
:beer:

 

[Rez O. Lewshun]

What's chauvinist is that you insist you can do what they do.

I can do what they do... and they can do what I do.. we just can't as well. One thing I can't do is get pregnant, lactate and breast feed. It is also proven that women are better at caring for infants than men. Women are better wired for it and have the right tools. Men don't. That doesn't mean a man can't raise an infant... Women are just better at it. Is that chauvinist?

There are guys/girls that can do things better than me. That is why I call my friends and ask for help. Everyone brings something to the table. We get to help each other and draw on each other strengths.

Family is not competition!!!

You can't and you'll never have to.

Why? Mega's mom had to be mother and father. The threat of single parenthood is real...that is why I am suggesting that we live our lives to prevent it. Either death or divorce its a real threat, so lets try to prevent divorce or death......

This is why she told you to "shut your pie hole". If you're male, you have no idea how much pressure the modern woman faces having to decide between career and family, especially in aviation.

We are just of different sociopolitical camps. Where does that pressure come from? Who is responsibile for it? Men? Other women? Society? The feminist movement was about choice.... (amongts other things...) And now that women are not bound to domestic homemaker, they trying to do both. It seems that June Cleaver/Laura Petry was not where women wanted to be but "having it all" has its issues too.... Sorry but the feminist or career women or whoever have created this quandry on their own... or has someone not lived up to their end of the deal? and if so ...what is the agreed upon deal?

Men are doing more in the house than ever before. More cooking, cleaning, diaper changes, ironing, laundry, etc... So whats the issue?

Do women have the right to be all things? Parent, wife and professional? Rights require responsibility. Its is like the double income issue. Poeple claim "two incomes are needed nowadays..." Well, what is going to happen when three incomes are needed? What is going to happen when women need to be Mom, wife, professional and _____.

As many have pointed out here, in this business, you can't just take a few years off, then go back like most careers. Take a few moments and imagine yourself in her situation before you lecture. What would YOU do?

More and more women are choosing one before the other. And some women are getting smart about it. 60 minutes ran segment about young women meeting guys at Harvard (or similiar Ivy league school). When the guys played 20 questions and found out that the girls were MBA students they stopped talking and walked away from the girls. Many girls have gone for the career only to find the marriage market isn't that great.

In addition, many girls who went for the career first were thinking that "they'll have kids later" not knowing that females only produce a limited number of eggs. When the girls hit thier mid 30's, pushing forties, it was difficult to even concieve. Something the "you can have it all" crowd failed to mention?

Many people are living well into thier 80's. Women are having children then going to college/grad school while the kids are in public school and starting their careers when the kids move out. Starting a career at 45 is not as easy as 25 but is being a professional, mom and wife easier?

As for the female pilots, I really empathize with them.. the travel schedule is tough...

From the moment a woman makes it known she's pregnant, she's expected to take her career off the table and put her family first.

What are the other alternatives? I mean if the husband says I'll quit and stay home (lots of families do this...) then great... But in a two career family one career, often, has to be secondary... Its up to each couple to decide which one will be...

Everyone she encounters throughout her pregnancy will ask her if she's going to quit or how she's going to do it. Our society expects women to be equals professionally, but in the background they're still expected to be June Cleaver.

Maybe society expects parents to raise thier own kids.

IF life was fair.... what would she do?

That's not fair.

You are right.... life is not fair....but we still have responsibilites to each other and our kids...

 

[FlyUnited]

What study says that women are better caretakers of infants? Do you have a link to that? And you're also implying that men only like stupid women? Yikes, that's who you want nurturing your children, a stupid, uneducated person. Good luck with that.

 

[Rez O. Lewshun]

What study says that women are better caretakers of infants?

I never said a study... I said it was proven...

Do you want to debate a womens use of oxytocin and breast milk vs a man ability? Yes there is formula, breast pumping, etc... Call me every/any name in the book, I just think a woman can breast feed better than a man.

Do you have a link to that?

You want me to provide a link that shows a womans breast?

And you're also implying that men only like stupid women?

Poor spin... nice try. I'd say a woman who knows what she wants to do and doesn't have to get on a message board to defend her lifestyle choices or feel pressured when queried about a work/baby balance is pretty smart...

Yikes, that's who you want nurturing your children, a stupid, uneducated person. Good luck with that.

There are plenty of "uneducated" women (and men) in this country and this world that provide thier children with love, compassion, guidance, trust, respect, creditbility...etc.. IOW character. The secret is a parent has to be there.. Not going 8/miles a min at FL350 to define ones identity, to break free of domestic shackles and the "burden of laundry and bill paying...."

If the title of this thread was "Two people in avaition does it work" it would be a whole different story. But the kid factor changes everything. Putting childrens needs after sociopolitical/financial/personal wants is a choice. Regardless, you have proven that it can be done. You've raised children of good character.

I have yet to see a thread titled "One spouse in avaition the other at home with kids. Does it work?" (Perhpas mega is creating it now )

 

[John Pennekamp]

Rez, your debates about the union and such are mildly entertaining, but in this topic, you're way out of your league. You're pushing your opinion as a universal fact and speaking of something you know nothing about.

You are not a woman, and never will be. Stop telling women what their place in society ought to be.

If I find a genie lamp on the beach I'm going to use one of my wishes on you, and you can report back to us on how you like it. Then we'll all get a big laugh at your expense and tell you to deal with it because that's your place in society.

 

[FlyUnited]

So in YOUR mind (there is no proof) the ability to take care of an infant has only one (ok, two) reasons.......breasts?!? You must be kidding me. Going out on a limb here, but your kids weren't bottle fed, were they?

What you have missed from every poster here is that no one is saying it's great to leave the children with strangers to go work when money isn't a factor. We are talking about women who want to go on a couple of trips a month and have stated that they will work opposite schedules with their husbands, if need be. Do you believe that the men of this world are such lousy caretakers that their children will be harmed for a lifetime over spending the weekend with Dad? No wonder your wife stays home, I would too. You likely to hurt one of them if she even goes to the grocery store alone.

 

[Flyer1015]

women are better caretakers of infants?

Biologically and physiologically speaking, yes, so I agree with Rez on this one.

You're pushing your opinion as a universal fact and speaking of something you know nothing about.

You are not a woman, and never will be.

I've heard this one too many times before. "You're not a woman, so you don't know what it's like, etc." Just because Rez isn't a woman does not mean he isn't entitled to an opinion.

Stop telling women what their place in society ought to be.

I can't seem to recall him saying that women BELONG in the house, period, no questions asked.

No wonder your wife stays home, I would too. You likely to hurt one of them if she even goes to the grocery store alone.

Personal attacks necessary, are not.

Argue as mature adults, we must.

 

[Flyer1015]

I'm not really the wedding type and I don't think a wedding is necessary to raise kids but I do want to marry my honey cuz I love him with all my heart and soul and I want to spend the rest of my life with him.

Mega, while the physical act of marriage and being married isn't necessary for raising kids, marriage is a necessity to PROTECT the kids.

To protect them, in case the "unthinkable" happens... divorce.

The truth of the matter is that divorce rates among couples is at 50%. I know you love your man with your heart and soul, but so did every couple I know who ended up being divorced.

Now I'm not saying you are headed down that road. But just being a realist, the chance of a divorce is possible. In our nation, it stands at a 50% chance.

So that having been said, marriage is a necessity to protect the kids. I know, I know, it sucks, and kids should never be put in a situation like that.

But marriage that ends up in a divorce, at least has some protection afforded to kids. Child support helps kids, and alimony helps the non-bread winner who takes care of the kids. Visitation rights, and custodial rights are something else that are settled through state laws regarding divorce.


But if you're not married, with kids, and the unthinkable 'breakup' happens... then good luck with alimony, child custody rights, child visitation rights, etc.

The unfortnate reality in todays world is that even if you don't agree with the concept of marriage, marriage is a necessity for the protection of kids.

 

[FlyUnited]

Untrue. Child support, visitation and custody battles happen, regardless of marriage.