Two people in Aviation with Kids. Does it work?

[capt. megadeth]

Funeral and travel to/from overseas

WHAT?!?!?!?

She must not love her children.

Are they damaged for life since she left them for a second? What kind of a mother is she? That's unacceptable!

 

[capt. megadeth]

The feminist have program girls that they are mindless partriarch slaves if they stay at home.

Nah. Not mindless patriarch slaves......just financially helpless people that are completely dependent on another person for necessities in life.

 

[ddp]

I don't ever post but this one has really drawn me in. I think you need a positive real life story. My family is a two pilot family with one child (2 yrs old) and we make it work because we want it to work. We bid opposite schedules as much as we can and when we need help we have a friend that watches our son. Our friend has children so our son enjoys the interaction of other kids. If both of us will be gone for longer than 2 days we take him to his grandparents. As soon as our schedules are out we start working a plan for the month so every month is a little different.

We had thought about a nanny but had a hard time finding someone that only wanted to work 6 or so days a month. We also thought about a live-in nanny and decided with how little we would need someone that was not the best option. In the last few months we have started working out a new plan with another two pilot family on sharing the care between the four of us. We figure that there is not much chance all four of us would be gone at the same time. I like this idea the best and I hope we are able to make it work. So maybe look for other families at your work. Last idea is to find another pilot/FA that has a wife that stays home to help you care for the baby. They seem to understand the lifestyle and routine better than someone that is outside of avaition.

I went back to work after the baby with the goal of just trying it out to see if it could work. My husband did not pressure me to work or not work. He knew how much childcare responsibility he would have if I did work and how much I would have if I stayed home (all of it). It was hard to go back but I would guess if you even asked a dad leaving his child he would be sad about leaving on a trip. I cried alot and still sometimes have my days but I NEVER doubt the safety, love and security that he is getting when I am not there. It actually brings lots of happiness to me to know how well he knows and loves all of his family. I worked in child protective services before this career and don't let anyone convince you that just because you birthed the child you are a good parent and the only one that can raise it. Most of the worst child abuse and neglect is by birth parents. A child will grow and become a contribution to society by being well rounded, exposed to new and different situations, and love. This can be given by you but also by others. Good luck in your decision and know it can work!

 

[cezzna]

You do what you have to do. I had to divorce my wife and take custody of my kids. They are with me fulltime and I have a nanny. I also have a son with autism. I still fly and am gone 90 nights a year. My kids are doing great. At first I wasn't sure about nannies, but it has worked great for me. What you are contemplating should be a cake walk compared to this.

 

[Rez O. Lewshun]

Nah. Not mindless patriarch slaves......just financially helpless people that are completely dependent on another person for necessities in life.

And this is a problem with our society. We're programmed that if we don't make our own money we are trapped and dependant. Like an indentured servant. Is that the secret power to female emanciaption? Get your own money?

What "your own money" also does is make people incredibly portable and non committal.... hence the divorce rate. Why have character, integrity and loyalty to your spouse when you can simply say "up yours I got mine!" There is something to be said about a spouse that can stay married for the duration...

As a society we've devalued parenting and managing our homes. Households are like small busineses. And we've turned to vendors to do allot of the jobs. With the personal BK rate higher than ever, its obvious we are stretched too thin... Many commercials sell time. Fast prep foods and cleaning products.

Call me old school but I think it is humbling for one to clean thier own toilet and raise thier own kids... Many a mother have said... I know why women work...its easier than raising kids! Again and again... many couples have two incomes be cause they want two incomes. They will declare they need two, but let's be real.... in our hyperconsumption society we don't know the difference btw needs and wants. So to not be with your kids so you can work cuase you don't have to is a copout and unfair to the kids. Parents choose thier kids not the other way around.

The above is exclusive of the single parent...

 

[satpak77]

I can't believe this thread is still alive.

Moms should be home with the kids, and dad should be working.

No, I didn't say mom should be in the kitchen and barefoot, women activists in the audience, take note.

AGAIN, mom should be home with the kids.

 

[Rez O. Lewshun]

I don't ever post but this one has really drawn me in. I think you need a positive real life story. My family is a two pilot family with one child (2 yrs old) and we make it work because we want it to work.

Could you live in the USA on one income?

We bid opposite schedules as much as we can and when we need help we have a friend that watches our son. Our friend has children so our son enjoys the interaction of other kids. If both of us will be gone for longer than 2 days we take him to his grandparents. As soon as our schedules are out we start working a plan for the month so every month is a little different.

I am willing to bet that you have more love for your child than your friend does.... In addition, you want your child to love you and be more loyal to you than to your friend?


So the question is.... why are you limiting that love? Cause you need to or want to?

You do what you have to do. I had to divorce my wife and take custody of my kids. They are with me fulltime and I have a nanny. I also have a son with autism. I still fly and am gone 90 nights a year. My kids are doing great. At first I wasn't sure about nannies, but it has worked great for me. What you are contemplating should be a cake walk compared to this.

No doubt... same with Mega's Mom... she had to go solo... what is a spouse to do if the other dies... but we aren't talking about that.... we are talking about trying to have your cake and eat it too.... which of course is a demanding right in today's culture....

 

[Rez O. Lewshun]

I can't believe this thread is still alive.

Moms should be home with the kids, and dad should be working.

No, I didn't say mom should be in the kitchen and barefoot, women activists in the audience, take note.

AGAIN, mom should be home with the kids.

Well at least initially.... I mean they have the breast milk. Nature handed out the vaginas, oxytocin and uterus' not men.

One spouse should stay at home. If a couple works it out so there is Mr. Mom.. then cool.... we just need to stop neglecting our kids in the name of wants defined as needs. The divorce rate is too high... the BK rate too high and too many pissed off kids on meds...

 

[FlyUnited]

Call me old school but I think it is humbling for one to clean thier own toilet and raise thier own kids

So why is that I have a feeling you have never done either?

 

[Rez O. Lewshun]

So why is that I have a feeling you have never done either?

Because...if you can focus on me and discredit my arguement (CHQFA's modus operandus) then you won't feel guilty about leaving your kids to gratify your wants...

Your kids need you more than you want your wants...