Two people in Aviation with Kids. Does it work?

[capt. megadeth]

And this is a problem with our society. We're programmed that if we don't make our own money we are trapped and dependant. Like an indentured servant. Is that the secret power to female emanciaption? Get your own money?

What "your own money" also does is make people incredibly portable and non committal.... hence the divorce rate. Why have character, integrity and loyalty to your spouse when you can simply say "up yours...

Well, what do you call it? Independent? Of course if you don't make your own money you are trapped and dependent. I think it's great you are loyal to your spouse and committed. Unfortunately, look at the divorce rate, many are not. The divorce rate has nothing to do with the fact that women make their own money. Are you high? You cannot control what someone else is going to do. In a perfect world, my spouse would bring home the money and I could be June Cleaver.....well guess what? Many people find themselves majorly hosed by their spouse. Then their only way out is to run around the courts looking for alimony. Well, if you CHOOSE to put yourself in that type of situation, YOU ARE THE BIGGEST FOOL IN THE WORLD AND I DON'T FEEL SORRY FOR YOU. Any woman that does this is an idiot!

I cannot even believe that you would say that your own money makes you portable and non commital. I guess it's better to not have your own, your husband controls you and you are stuck (maybe get the $hit beat out of you every day) but that's ok, because you should be 100% committed to making the marriage work. Get your head out of the sand. Women used to have no choice....get married, have kids, stay at home and HOPE your husband is not an a$$hole. If he is......sssshhhhhhh.....we don't want to tell anyone because it might look bad. I wonder how many women from the 1950's had a happy life under their husband's every control. I'm sure that image makes you drool, doesn't it? You would just love that, wouldn't you?

Dude, it's easy for you to preach on here about crap that's none of your business. You are a MAN. It's none of your business to preach about what women should do. How about if men stay at home raising the kids and women go out there and bring home the bacon? Would that be ok with you? Would it be fine with you to be completely financially dependent on your wife? Huh? Huh?

 

[capt. megadeth]

Moms should be home with the kids, and dad should be working.

No, I didn't say mom should be in the kitchen and barefoot, women activists in the audience, take note.

AGAIN, mom should be home with the kids.

MEN should shut their pie holes.

AGAIN, MEN....yes, you all with the 3 inchers, should shut their pie holes. :nuts:

This thread was not started to hear your f***ing opinions. She asked if 2 people in aviation with kids can work. The answer is YES and that question was already answered.

So ONCE AGAIN, MEN......shut your pie holes.

 

[capt. megadeth]

MEN should shut their pie holes.

AGAIN, MEN....yes, you all with the 3 inchers, should shut their pie holes. :nuts:

This thread was not started to hear your f***ing opinions. She asked if 2 people in aviation with kids can work. The answer is YES and that question was already answered.

So ONCE AGAIN, MEN.....unless you can promise me that if you ever get divorced, you will not BITCH ONE IOTA about paying $hitloads of alimony........shut your pie holes.

 

[satpak77]

MEN should shut their pie holes.

AGAIN, MEN....yes, you all with the 3 inchers, should shut their pie holes. :nuts:

This thread was not started to hear your f***ing opinions. She asked if 2 people in aviation with kids can work. The answer is YES and that question was already answered.

So ONCE AGAIN, MEN......shut your pie holes.

what does this have to do with pieholes and 3 inchers?

why do you bring additional drama to this thread? What internal struggles are you grappling with?

I did not know the thread was "not started to hear m y opinion". Why was it started then? Lets see what the original poster stated

Two people in Aviation with Kids. Does it work?
Husband is a pilot, I'm a FA. We just found out we're expecting. I'm sure there are thosands of people who have done this, but how do you make it work? We're thinking about moving to where the inlaws live (so we can have a babysitter), however, that will be a 2 leg offline commute for the both of us. It's either that, or I try to hire a nanny from the location where I'm at right now. Any advice? What have you done?

hmm, yeah kinda looks like she solicited opinions. However your desire to dominate and gain control over this thread, is noted.

This could be indicative of larger issues.

Don't get mad at me because your entire sense of self-worth and self-identity is directly tied to the title "Pilot". The rest of America could care less. As a matter of fact, more and more (check recent polls and surveys) able bodied, professional women, are just saying "screw it" and staying home, to raise their kids.

Two parents in aviation, CAN it work? DOES it work? I suppose it can or does work but you need to set a performance standard, based on the upbringing of the kids.

I can drive across country without my seatbelt but that doesn't mean I should. The engine in my 2007 car does work with generic brand straight mineral oil, from Wal-Mart, on sale, but that doesn't mean it is the best thing for it. But it does work.

Your posts on this thread demonstrate a fear (you will re-label this in a subsequent reply that you are being "safe" and "preparing for just in case" but that is not true) of being "left" and being "abandoned" by the sole income earner in the family, while you (in this discussion you are assumed to be a non-income earner and stay at home mom), don't work or earn income. So you present some discussion how it is justified to work in case of divorce, etc.

However, that misses the point. By marrying right, this issue is largely prevented. Of course, choice of spouse or partner never came into this discussion did it.

Good luck with your issues and yes, you should know with 2900+ posts that Flightinfo is all about opinion.

Signed: Pilot by job (it pays the rent, and its a fun way to spend your workday). Psychology major in college. Parent by career and profession, and by CHOICE.

Self-Worth, sense of identity, value system tied to how I live my life and take care of my family, not tied to whether my license says ATP (it does) or whether I earn six figures (I do).

Thank you very much

 

[capt. megadeth]

I'm reading this and all I see is

BLAH BLAH BLAH

BLAH BLAH BLAH

Oh and by the way tough guy, I make 6 figures too. Funny you say your self worth is how you live your life and your family not your income but yet you couldn't resist adding in there that you DO in fact make 6 figures.

BLAH BLAH BLAH

BLAH BLAH BLAH

what does this have to do with pieholes and 3 inchers?

why do you bring additional drama to this thread? What internal struggles are you grappling with?

I did not know the thread was "not started to hear m y opinion". Why was it started then? Lets see what the original poster stated



hmm, yeah kinda looks like she solicited opinions. However your desire to dominate and gain control over this thread, is noted.

This could be indicative of larger issues.

Don't get mad at me because your entire sense of self-worth and self-identity is directly tied to the title "Pilot". The rest of America could care less. As a matter of fact, more and more (check recent polls and surveys) able bodied, professional women, are just saying "screw it" and staying home, to raise their kids.

Two parents in aviation, CAN it work? DOES it work? I suppose it can or does work but you need to set a performance standard, based on the upbringing of the kids.

I can drive across country without my seatbelt but that doesn't mean I should. The engine in my 2007 car does work with generic brand straight mineral oil, from Wal-Mart, on sale, but that doesn't mean it is the best thing for it. But it does work.

Your posts on this thread demonstrate a fear (you will re-label this in a subsequent reply that you are being "safe" and "preparing for just in case" but that is not true) of being "left" and being "abandoned" by the sole income earner in the family, while you (in this discussion you are assumed to be a non-income earner and stay at home mom), don't work or earn income. So you present some discussion how it is justified to work in case of divorce, etc.

However, that misses the point. By marrying right, this issue is largely prevented. Of course, choice of spouse or partner never came into this discussion did it.

Good luck with your issues and yes, you should know with 2900+ posts that Flightinfo is all about opinion.

Signed: Pilot by job (it pays the rent, and its a fun way to spend your workday). Psychology major in college. Parent by career and profession, and by CHOICE.

Self-Worth, sense of identity, value system tied to how I live my life and take care of my family, not tied to whether my license says ATP (it does) or whether I earn six figures (I do).

Thank you very much

 

[capt. megadeth]

Oh boy, I see Rez is on this thread. Can't wait to see what else the MAN is going to say.

MEN just shut your pie holes. Just like abortion...it's none of your business.

 

[Rez O. Lewshun]

Well, what do you call it? Independent? Of course if you don't make your own money you are trapped and dependent.

Maybe in your world. We bought a significant life insurance policy for my wife. Thinking about it, the value she brings to our family would have to be compensated if she passed. It would be extremely difficult for me to do this alone.. thus I ensure I treat my wife with respect, trust and loyalty. I want her to stay. She can easily find a local guy driving a Benz that is home every night. I need to ensure she doesn't go shopping.

I think it's great you are loyal to your spouse and committed. Unfortunately, look at the divorce rate, many are not.

Why get married if you are not loyal and committed. Seems to be a flaw our society brushes over...

The divorce rate has nothing to do with the fact that women make their own money. Are you high? You cannot control what someone else is going to do.

So a woman who wants out of a marriage and makes 100K doesn't think I'll just split and not have to worry about alimony?

No, you cannot control someone else.. that is the trick to human interaction, honey. You have to behave in a way that allows poeple to want to stay with you.

I am not saying women shouldn't make thier own money, I am just saying if they do, it is much easier to divorce...

Thus the world before female emanicaption.... Men and women needed each other. Men couldn't do it alone and neither could women. And many marriages were out of survival not love. But they stayed together because they had too.... and that was good for the kids..

In a perfect world, my spouse would bring home the money and I could be June Cleaver.....well guess what? Many people find themselves majorly hosed by their spouse.

It takes two... majorly hosed? OK... but there is some responsibility for getting hosed. Bad choice of a spouse? Did something to piss off spouse... In this country marriage is of free will. You act like girls are married off by thier fathers for a dowry... Get real. Take responsibility for your actions, life and marriage. Quit blaming men for your misery.

Then their only way out is to run around the courts looking for alimony. Well, if you CHOOSE to put yourself in that type of situation, YOU ARE THE BIGGEST FOOL IN THE WORLD AND I DON'T FEEL SORRY FOR YOU. Any woman that does this is an idiot!

I agree.. So choose a spouse that you can live with.

I cannot even believe that you would say that your own money makes you portable and non commital. I guess it's better to not have your own, your husband controls you and you are stuck (maybe get the $hit beat out of you every day) but that's ok, because you should be 100% committed to making the marriage work.

You seem to be contridicting yourself... I thought a woman should take repsonsibility for herself and choose a good partner...

Get your head out of the sand. Women used to have no choice....get married, have kids, stay at home and HOPE your husband is not an a$$hole.

Another contridiction.. you don't seem to know what you want... Its too bad you don't think women are smart enough to choose a long term mate. That they are too weak to determine character. That they marry and have to hope the man isn't a jerk. Women had choice back then and now.

If he is......sssshhhhhhh.....we don't want to tell anyone because it might look bad. I wonder how many women from the 1950's had a happy life under their husband's every control. I'm sure that image makes you drool, doesn't it? You would just love that, wouldn't you?

I think you got a raw deal and bad programming from the feminazi's.... Maybe you should talk to someone.. get some therapy.

Dude, it's easy for you to preach on here about crap that's none of your business. You are a MAN.

Wow, men are 49% of this world and I should have no say, about marriage and raising kids. I have two kids. How many do you have?

It's none of your business to preach about what women should do. How about if men stay at home raising the kids and women go out there and bring home the bacon? Would that be ok with you? Would it be fine with you to be completely financially dependent on your wife? Huh? Huh?

I already stated that. If a couple decides that a man stays at home and the woman work...great. that is thier choice. At least they are taking responsibility for thier kids.

 

[Rez O. Lewshun]

Oh boy, I see Rez is on this thread. Can't wait to see what else the MAN is going to say. .

Its up baby.... go for it....

 

[Huggyu2]

It's like abortion....it's none of men's business. There should be no man involved in the topic of abortion.

A very sad commentary, indeed.

 

[capt. megadeth]

A very sad commentary, indeed.

Sad to you but true.

Ok, that's it. No matter how tempted I am to quote all of Rez's silly responses that make no sense, I am done arguing on line with a bunch of male chauvanists.

Over and out....

 

[Rez O. Lewshun]

Sad to you but true.

Ok, that's it. No matter how tempted I am to quote all of Rez's silly responses that make no sense, I am done arguing on line with a bunch of male chauvanists.

Over and out....

Because you can't.... your bitter and bile filled sociopolitical mindsets about men are false and twisted.....

Be a good girl and let your child develop his/her own ideas and not your bent understanding of it all....

Men aren't evil or the enemy...and neither are women.

 

[capt. megadeth]

Be a good girl and let your child develop his/her own ideas and not your bent understanding of it all....

Men aren't evil or the enemy...and neither are women.

Ok....

 

[satpak77]

interesting is Megadeths response to me, an online version of putting her fingers in her ears "I don't hear you"

also interesting is her reminder that "she also" makes 6 figures

why so much anger against men? how is the relationship with your father?

 

[capt. megadeth]

interesting is Megadeths response to me, an online version of putting her fingers in her ears "I don't hear you"

also interesting is her reminder that "she also" makes 6 figures

why so much anger against men? how is the relationship with your father?

It's because you are sooooooo right.

I don't have anger towards men, I just will not put myself in a situation where I am dependent on someone else for everything.

My alcoholic father committed suicide 25 years ago. That's how my relationship is. Psychobabble that one.

 

[Rez O. Lewshun]

Not every man is an alcoholic with problems... don't treat them all the same.....! You've got trust issues!

 

[satpak77]

My alcoholic father committed suicide 25 years ago. That's how my relationship is. Psychobabble that one.

Well sorry to hear about that. Your somewhat "radical" stance is largely due to you observing your mother work extra hard, etc, to take care of the family, without the help of a father.

The absence of this father possibly left you without a "father figure" to look up to (or not), and without a male role model (to share with a female role model), you were left on your own to shape your impression and interpretations of men. Some of this based on your mom, peers, media, outside influences.

Now, lets also point out that a father who abuses his kids, that household is indeed better off with no father in the house. But, barring those types of circumstances, having a father and a mother at home, is arguably the most healthy thing for a kids upbringing.

With that said, you were left "holding the bag" after three high-impact issues affected your life. 1) No father at home. This can be a problem (or not) in and of itself. 2) Your father was an alcoholic. This is another potential problem, subjected you to witness this and be exposed to this. 3) Father's suicide. This is a huge impacted to a kids life, with the kids always asking "why" and the natural inclination is direct them blame back to themselves.

In my opinion, all of the events turned you into a goal driven woman. Some of it was love for aviation, but some of it was "I will prove to him" what I can do, "I will show him."

I believe that you likely promised yourself at an early age that you would "never rely on a man" and flash forward to today, and we are on FlightInfo talking about this very subject.

While we all have skeletons and stories in our past, it is unfair to make our kids pay for the credit card bill of emotional debt that we ran up in our lives.

 

[capt. megadeth]

In my opinion, all of the events turned you into a goal driven woman. Some of it was love for aviation, but some of it was "I will prove to him" what I can do, "I will show him."

I believe that you likely promised yourself at an early age that you would "never rely on a man" and flash forward to today, and we are on FlightInfo talking about this very subject.

While we all have skeletons and stories in our past, it is unfair to make our kids pay for the credit card bill of emotional debt that we ran up in our lives.

Bravo! Bravo! You hit the nail on the head!

I never said I was going to make my kids pay. I know plenty of messed up kids that had mommy at home all the time. Heck, Rez is all full of himself and yet his kids might end up being the most f***ed up out of them all. After all, look at their father. :laugh:

 

[satpak77]

Bravo! Bravo! You hit the nail on the head!

I never said I was going to make my kids pay. I know plenty of messed up kids that had mommy at home all the time. Heck, Rez is all full of himself and yet his kids might end up being the most f***ed up out of them all. After all, look at their father. :laugh:

First, while you did not say it, your actions may cause them to pay. Second, there is some internal character trait that causes you to lash out.

We were discussing your issues, and then suddenly, you bring Rez into this discussion. The focus of this dialogue is you, nobody else, and not another man. It is not Rez.

This demonstrates larger issues beyond "I gotta take care of myself" and indicates a definite negativity towards men.

We all understand and salute you, with the "Hey, I ain't relying on no man" mantra. Fine, roger that, received.

However lashing out and dragging other people thru the mud does nothing for your own credibility.

Lets take a second look at your reply

Bravo! Bravo! You hit the nail on the head!

I never said I was going to make my kids pay. I know plenty of messed up kids that had mommy at home all the time. Heck, Rez is all full of himself and yet his kids might end up being the most f***ed up out of them all. After all, look at their father. :laugh:

Are you trying to vindicate yourself, because aware that you do work fulltime, you feel it necessary to point out that stay-at-home moms have messed up kids also?

 

[capt. megadeth]

Are you trying to vindicate yourself, because aware that you do work fulltime, you feel it necessary to point out that stay-at-home moms have messed up kids also?

Uh, no. I don't need to explain myself or vindicate myself to anyone. What I do is my business.

All I'm saying is that just because mommy stays at home doesn't guarantee a thing except that mommy will be completely dependent on her spouse and will be running around looking for alimony and child support should divorce time ever come. Personally, I wouldn't want to be in that situation. Call it "issues" or whatever, that's fine, but I won't be in that type of situation, EVER.

 

[FlyUnited]

Exactly, and when the EX wife does go looking for support, all the men call her a gold digger and tell her to go find a job. You just can't win. Either she works or she doesn't. If she doesn't, then you better expect to support her well because if you don't, the courts will insist upon it.

 

[Rez O. Lewshun]

All I'm saying is that just because mommy stays at home doesn't guarantee a thing except that mommy will be completely dependent on her spouse and will be running around looking for alimony and child support should divorce time ever come. Personally, I wouldn't want to be in that situation. Call it "issues" or whatever, that's fine, but I won't be in that type of situation, EVER.

Maybe you girls are watching lifetime channel too much...

Exactly, and when the EX wife does go looking for support, all the men call her a gold digger and tell her to go find a job. You just can't win. Either she works or she doesn't. If she doesn't, then you better expect to support her well because if you don't, the courts will insist upon it.

There are women who want to stay at home... There are some who aspire to it.... that doesn't make men bad people. Some women and men know how to stay married. Some don't.

The sociopolitical mantra of the feminist have made it clear that women who don't prove thier value in the workplace are indentured servants of patriarchs... What they've done, combined with the babyboomers, is jack the divorce rate up and put our kids on meds. In short its all about me. Me me me. It breaks my heart in the summer seeing kids shuttle across the country as UMs from one parent to the other. Summertime means joint custody and yes the courts favor women. Why is that?

Now maybe you two have bought into that BS... maybe you haven't...

I find it quite admirable if a woman or spouse can operate a household, volunteer to the community and raise social assets of children. I think it is harder to do than being a female pilot. (whatever that means...)

Yet you haven't denied that your working/flying is economically viable and required to provided food, shelter and clothing. In fact you've stated quite clearly that it is about you: breaking free of the household shackles and four walls of domestic prison.

Give me a break. And your kids.

 

[FlyUnited]

I find it quite admirable if a woman or spouse can operate a household, volunteer to the community and raise social assets of children.

I did ALL of those things....and have been married over twenty years. So, did you do it yet or do you just preach?

One thing I did teach my kids was not to be in aviation. That seems like a very socially aware thing for a parent to do, don't you agree?

 

[satpak77]

Uh, no. I don't need to explain myself or vindicate myself to anyone. What I do is my business.

All I'm saying is that just because mommy stays at home doesn't guarantee a thing except that mommy will be completely dependent on her spouse and will be running around looking for alimony and child support should divorce time ever come. Personally, I wouldn't want to be in that situation. Call it "issues" or whatever, that's fine, but I won't be in that type of situation, EVER.

In summary, you suffer from abandonment issues and a fear of divorce. To such an extent, you qualify it with "EVER." You also stated "you don't have to explain yourself to anyone" (thumbing your nose at the men in the audience, as if you don't answer to anyone) but then go on with an explanation, because you must let the same men in the audience "hear you out."

Your use of "EVER" (in caps) is indicative of a flee/flight response to a previous painful experience.

Ask the guy who got stomach flu in Germany, if he wants to go back and visit, amd he says "nah, thanks, how about somewhere else"

Ask the guy who was a former Nazi POW, and he says "I will never go to Germany, EVER"

So your responses are indicative of a severe pain incurred by you, at some point in your life.

I recommend you try to resolve your pains and fears, some of which you have no control over, zero, and try to seek inner peace with your demons.

The enemy is not "men." It was your father. He is somewhere more peaceful now.

You should be too.

 

[Rez O. Lewshun]

I did ALL of those things....and have been married over twenty years. So, did you do it yet or do you just preach?

Good for you! I'd like to think I am doing it... but like age 60....(or is it 65) I'll have to wait till I am there...

One thing I did teach my kids was not to be in aviation. That seems like a very socially aware thing for a parent to do, don't you agree?

I don't know...we choose it.

 

[hindsight2020]

I can't hold on any longer.. LOL

One thing I've observed is that women pilots have a difficult time developing relationships with men who are not pilots. I kid you not, every single woman pilot I know is in a relationship, or married to, another pilot; these encompass women I know at all levels of aviation I've been exposed to: CFIs, regionals, and military.

I agree with satpak, the majority of these women define their self-worth solely on the job they perform, which is why they end up with other pilots. It's a matter of social currency really. For a guy who is not interested in flying in general, a woman pilot has really no interesting qualities, as she works in a historically male gender role, asset which only a pilot male would normally appreciate, and therefore it is of little social currency to him [the non-pilot male]. Additionally, said guy can find tons of women with more socially valuable attitudes to him, i.e. the proverbial nurse/teacher who has the inclination and job schedule to make a stable and involved mother, everything else being equal. During college, a lot of the young GOOD looking women (let's face it, women pilots are not know to be of the good looking persuasion by percentage among their work peers, as say nurses by comparison) realize there is a level of social currency to being Mrs. Mommy, and as the posters have suggested, many have taken to a more domestic role after college, perhaps part-time work in their work field of interest..these are attitudes that women pilots resent gratuitously, as shown in this thread as well. All that is not to suggest that a woman pilot is inherently uncapable of making a better mother than any Suzie nurse, but it is a pretty resounding trend that women pilots RESENT their social shortcoming (some quietly, some loudly), particularly when the reason for such shortcoming is something that is so tied to what defines them so profoundly.

Consequently, two-pilot unions is not an easy idea to pitch for raising a family. It is really closer to a rock star type of family dynamic than your normal 9-5. Families need stability, two individuals who constantly have to bust their chops (although they'd likely minimize the a$$pain it is when talking to their non-pilot peers) to make the schedules work to allow them to tend to their children, is certainly an ill-suited proposition. That's reason #2 most women pilots have a love-hate relationship with their identity. They want the cake and eat it too. They COULD make it work if hubby had the flexibility to allow for her being gone. But since we already established that women pilots almost have to end up with male pilots, the resultant work dynamic makes it difficult to make that proposition work.

We went out for dinner with a co-worker whose wife happens to also be a pilot (my g/f is employed in landscape architecture by contrast). You could sense the tension when my g/f asked his wife about children and "how does the schedule work"? (neither them nor us have children at the moment). Said wife is struggling to break into the regional game, and hubby is military, whose career and paycheck have taken precedence. You can tell she's not happy across the table, and I submit it is not a coincidence these two ended up together (see my first paragragh). Likewise, you could see the shoulder-shrugging she had for my g/f when my girl told them if I were to ever be in a position to make six figures and carry the main economic burden of rasing my future family, she wouldn't blink twice before strongly considering resorting to part-time work in her field and being with the kids. I've never told my g/f to give any part of her vocational pursuits to pop kids or whatever, but yet that shows exactly the paradigm these women pilots face. This woman sees no value in my g/f's attitude, and that is because it is resoundingly obvious that my g/f sees her job as a pursuit she enjoys, but something that in the end doesn't define her, whereas subject #2 is somebody who has a death-grip on the "I'm a WO-man PILOT" and yet wrestles at night with why she couldn't hitch an accountant or lawyer instead with another pilot, whose more of a burden to her secret white picket fence desires than somebody she'd find midly intersting to talk to every night at the dinnner table (about the same topic mind you).

Do two pilot families work? I'd say marginally sure. But as a pilot myself, wouldn't be something I was ever interested in pursuing for precisely the above reasons. Don't get me wrong, my PPL CFI was a woman, great lady, but she was in her 40s and single, and went about her trips and schedule as she pleased, and it worked for her, but that's not the paradigm a woman can use for creating a family FWIW.

 

[satpak77]

highsight

excellent post. You appear to read Daniel Goleman and/or Stephen Covey

 

[capt. megadeth]

I recommend you try to resolve your pains and fears, some of which you have no control over, zero, and try to seek inner peace with your demons.

The enemy is not "men." It was your father. He is somewhere more peaceful now.

You should be too.

How do you do that when you feel fine?

 

[satpak77]

How do you do that when you feel fine?

Not unlike Stockholms syndrome, in which the hostage/POW begins to align himself with the hostage taker, someone in your situation does not know any other condition, and therefore for you, "I am fine" is the theme of the day.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stockholm_syndrome


Similar to a guy who has been homeless his whole life. Give him public housing, a roof, and four walls, and a lock on the front door, and life is great.

However he does not know the life of the suburbs, with stainless steel appliances, green yards, etc (you get the idea). So he has no performance measure above and beyond "life is fine" from his vantage point of the public housing. To him, that is a huge improvement over his previous life.

So you indeed feel "fine." However I recommend you seek out that life above and beyond, and try to make peace with your past experiences. I did not live your life, only you did, so I am not about to how to go about it and nickel and dime your gameplan to death.

I will however recommend that you begin the process. There are various books I can recommend that could give you a jump-start on things, which are "sanctioned" by the therapist/psychology crowd.

 

[capt. megadeth]

I find it funny that you guys think it's a WOMAN pilot thing when in fact, it's not. I was a nurse for 8 years and even if that was my career, I would keep working if I had kids. Unfortunately in this career, you cannot just quit, come back 10 years later and pick up where you left off. You guys act like it's so easy. "Oh, just quit". If it was that easy and I could take off for 5-10 years, accrue longevity, keep my seniority and go back later, I would. Think about yourselves....would it be that easy for you to just quit forever? You don't have to worry about it because you can just have your wife do that. If it was you that needed to quit, would it be that easy for you?

 

[capt. megadeth]

So you indeed feel "fine." However I recommend you seek out that life above and beyond, and try to make peace with your past experiences. I did not live your life, only you did, so I am not about to how to go about it and nickel and dime your gameplan to death.
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Thanks for the advice, but I think you are thinking a little deep for me. Sure it hurts that I grew up without a father but I am very, very happy in my life. There is nothing I want for and I really don't think I need to read into it and get myself thinking I need help for something I really don't think about but thanks for the advice.