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The Lanyard Police

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I thought about getting a Cubs lanyard, but I was based in St. Louis when I first started in the airline industry, so that would've required me constantly hanging my head in shame. Then I thought about getting a Bears lanyard, but then I moved to Indy, same problem <sigh>

You should have got one that said "Cardinals take it in their Pujhols"
 
I can't imagine anyone who dosen't believe in God or Jesus flying me and my family around. We know now what happens when people who believe in Allah take over our planes. I'm not scared to post this and people that disagree can kiss it.

I don't believe in the easter bunny or the tooth fairy either, so that must really piss you off.

and FWIW, I do believe in Jesus. He mows my lawn every week
 
I don't believe in the easter bunny or the tooth fairy either, so that must really piss you off.

and FWIW, I do believe in Jesus. He mows my lawn every week

Hahaha I love it when a captain pulls out his bible to read it in-flight. I'm not sure if I should be scared because he knows something I dont, or scared because he's trying to start up a proselytizing session...
 
I want an "I love the Flying Spaghetti Monster" lanyard.

Amen.

I'm an equal opportunity hater...I hate conservatives and liberals equally, and both sects have this country completely FUBARed.

My mother use to tell me that there are two things you don't discuss outside your home, politics, and religion. I wish more people would take that to heart.

Be that as it may, I still will take any opportunity to piss on any liberal or conservative I come across, just to make their blood pressure go up, and of course, for my own sick amusment.

My wife (now ex) became a holy roller bible thumper. In the interest in maintaining some semblance of domestic harmony, I went along to her church with her, which was filled to the brim of self-rightous, intolerant science haters, among other things. I tend to wear my indifference and contempt on my sleeve, so I was greatly amused at their attempts to convert me.

At one point, I was cornered by a gaggle of the faithfull with my wife present, and it became quite obnoxious. So I simply said to the "leader" that Thor would not approve.

"Thor?" she asked. "Yes, Thor, God of Thunder. For you see, Thor is my personal God, and he has promised that if I die in glorious battle during Rangnorok, that I shall be permitted to cross the Rainbow Bridge into Asguard and earn the right to Valhalla".

Now, I don't know beans about Thor that I didn't read in his comic book. But the absolute confusion and abject horror in their face is a memory that I will treasure for the rest of my days. My ex looked like she wanted to crawl under the nearest rock.

A sweet moment indeed. If tormenting them is evil, then yes, I am evil.

Nu
 

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