Stories of pilots trying to impress women!!

[TXDA2000]

One semi-famous race pilot I run around with on occasion has some very specific NON-pilot pickup lines.

One night in LA he dropped the "We're in town for the gay porn convention" line without my prior knowlege.

I think I looked about as shocked as the women.

By the way, it was a great icebreaker.

 

[Tailwheelman]

I will go out of my way NOT to tell anyone I am a pilot...especially women. Can't stand the question "what airline do you work for?"....."I don't" or the famous "Do you fly jets?" ...."no not exactly". Then you just end up looking like a douche.

To avoid this I was with the guys at a bar and a girl asked what I did...i thought for a moment....and then said "I'm with the icecapades.....I'm the second swan from the left". I have also been known to break out with "I'm a shepard....I tend a flock of sheep just west of town". Needless to say the results have been mixed but never boring.

 

[joe_pilot]

People really thing saying "I'm a pilot" gets women?

I do everything in my power *not* to tell the women.

-mini

absolutely

 

[aerodromebum]

A former coworker of mine (who shall remain nameless) used to wear the company jacket (which was embroidered with company logo) to Hooters and drop what he referred to as the "P-Bomb" at the Hooters Girls. To my best knowledge, he never scored.

I, too, try not to tell anyone that I'm a pilot. When someone asks what I do for a living, I usually tell them that I work at the local airport. And when pressed further, I tell them that I'm an airport equipment operator (which contains an element of truth).

 

[hyflyt560]

I, too, try not to tell anyone that I'm a pilot. When someone asks what I do for a living, I usually tell them that I work at the local airport. And when pressed further, I tell them that I'm an airport equipment operator (which contains an element of truth).

Next time tell them you're a manager of a pressurized aluminum tubing operation.

 

[Tailwheelman]

Next time tell them you're a manager of a pressurized aluminum tubing operation.

I like that.....i will have to scratch the serial numbers off that one and use it myself

 

[Tailwheelman]

too bad mines not pressurized....I'll have to say I manage a corroded aluminum tubing operation. hahaha

 

[FastestPA31Ever]

Great thread: I always try to avoid it, because this is how I envision it going...

Girl: "Oh, so you fly for a passenger airline?"

Me: "No, I actually fly cargo."

Girl: "So then, like FedEx, or UPS?"

Me: "Well, no it's actually a smaller company called A*rNet"

Girl(blank stare, interest waning): "Ohhhhh...but I bet you fly big cool jets"

Me(seeing the end is near): "No, they are smaller jets, kind of like corporate"

Girl(looking around for an investment banker): "Ohhhhh, right, yea one of my friends does that stuff"

Anyways, the first time I met my fiance I was a movie producer. God bless her, and god bless Vince Vaughn. Later!

 

[indianboy7]

I specialize in the transportation of aluminum and aluminum accessories.....usually gets a blank stare and a "oh.....i see"........never tell them you're a pilot until you're sharing a smoke after the deed........all they see is a fat, lazy drunkard who's on his 4th wife and 43rd girlfriend....

 

[Jafar]

I once told a girl, (on the second date, mind you) that I was so attracted to her that she could give me herpes of the eyes and I wouldn't care. I never made it to a third date. (Which is unfortunate, because I meant it.)

Those of you who are particularly keen will notice I posted this true story in another thread recently. The important part is the overall lesson to be learned. Don't be a jackass like me. Keep certain thoughts, feelings, truths, to yourself.

 

[Dumbluck]

I bartended my way through college, a couple of buddies came up for discounted drinks (which they didn't get). in little while 3 girls came and sat at the bar, before I could get their drink order, one went up to the girls and said "I'm a pilot" leader of the group turned around and responded "Yeah, we can tell" them promptly turned her back and ignored my friends the rest of the night.

 

[Gorilla]

This is a funny thread. Recently, we had a posting which contrasted Pay:Glamour - declaring pilot to be "high pay, high glamour". Bear with me a moment while I tie the decline of the profession and SJS into this thread.

There is still a non-pilot subculture which believes in the lies of glamour. Given the beacon of a high glamour job, and the potential that the glamour one obtains can be used to pick up women, among other excellent possibilities, we then generate the PFT phenomenon. Young males will bear any burden to be allowed to don classic Ray-Bans, wear a big watch, and shout out, from the cockpit, (like Leo deC in Titanic), "I'm the Pilot King of the Wooorrrllld!"

The system has generated an overly large herd of Ray-Ban wearing young male pilots. Since our markets are supply and demand, management can now easily drive down pay to food-stamp levels. Yet, since there is still a glamour associated with the profession, the supply never dries up. There is a steady flow of youngsters with SJS and the money for PFT.

By the time the SJS victim realizes that women simply laugh at him, and the glamour is a facade readily promoted by the industry, it is too late... he has no other skills beyond gear slinging, so he is stuck.

The answer is to somehow eliminate the glamour aspect of the job. Skilled trades like a plumber have zero glamour... the supply of willing candidates is smaller, driving wages up. I have no doubt that plumbers pick up more chicks than pilots, as they are usually friendlier and less egotistical.

 

[FracCapt]

I generally tell people I'm an underwater welder/commercial diver. That stops them from asking many questions about what I do.

If it's somebody I don't want to talk to, I tell them I'm in the poultry industry. Inevitably, they ask what I do specifically.... With a straight face, I look at them and say "well, those chickens don't kill themselves". They usually don't want to talk anymore. I have to admit....I picked this one up from a buddy about a year ago..

 

[buckwheatt]

I like to tell chicks that I am a tooth-brush quality assurance specialist for crest. When they ask more like what does that mean. I tell them I count all the bristles on each tooth-brush that go out the door. Use it fellas it's a killer..

 

[Goose Egg]

I decided a while back that piloting was inherently unimpressive and therefore abandoned any design to secure romantic relationships (yeah, I'm one of those sensitive guys) through the disclosure of my profession. Besides, I think that flying causes the type of girls that I would want (the relationship oriented ones) to view me as suspect. Oh well. Got a sweet girlfriend right now! And she's relationship oriented and thinks that flying is impressive. Go figure.

-Goose