Dispatcher--
You said, "PLEASE... stick to flying planes. That's all they need you for."
If that is what you truly believe and not something said out of frustration, then you really don't know my job......nor, I suspect, do most employees in the Casino....
Flying the airplanes is the "EASY" part of my job....once that door closes, and I hit the GO button, I relax.....
Let's see...what else do they "need" me for?
Well, when I show up, I do the following and more:
I gotta pre-flight the airplane to make sure that it's airworthy....and if I find something wrong, I have to write it up, fax it in, confer with the APC on duty and call maintenance.
I gotta check the interior for the proper equipment, documents and paperwork---have to call the APC on duty if something is missing or amiss with any of that stuff.
I have to check the fuel load and see if I agree with what YOU think I should carry for fuel based on weather, traffic, the airport of departure, the airport of arrival, pax load, taxi time, diverting to an alternate, runway requirements ad nauseum.....(By the way, what they have you fuel us to is usually too low.....I don't know how many times I've added extra fuel that saved my butt....no criticism of you personally, but the fuel loads are sometimes downright dangerous and do not take into account what experience on the road has taught.)
Oh, and I have to check the weather, runway requirements, maintenance MEL's, and aircraft maintenance and service history to see if there are any trends that might bite me in the butt.
Am I at the right FBO? Is the plane here or at the one on the other side of the field and someone forgot to tell me? Is the van going to be on time this morning? Where is the crew food that we ordered?
Is tha pax cattering here? No? Gotta call the company....
Oh, the pax are gonna be late? Better check on the clearance void time, the arrival slot time and customs.
Have to fill out the customs forms.
Gotta load the bags.....golf clubs, a dining room chair set (did that the other day), enough clothes for a month at the Breakers in PBI....but they're only going for a long weekend.....
Where's the catering? Is everything here? What? No Dom? Call CMH and get a rush on a half-dozen splits.....
Is there coffee, water and ice? Papers? The pax want WHAT paper? Momma Warbucks wants all the candy and cookies taken off the plane when here kids on board? OK, gotta get that taken care of.
Did the fuel get put on correctly? What they filled the wings AND the main? OH, great.....We're overweight now....gotta call CMH on that one. Where's the ramp people? Seen anyone this morning? The FBO doesn't open 'til when and we're do out WHEN?
IS the carpet clean? How about the lav....that working? How about the water tank? How's the stock? What? haven't been to a locker in three days and there aren't any more Macadamia nuts? Or Diet Cokes? Or?????????
Hey, what's with the 20 minute turn in MCO dropping off pax and then picking up pax? And they're EARLY! OK< I'll go explain that one, you get the fuel, ATIS and clearance.
Oh, there is a change in the pax manifest? Call CMH....change the release....change the FMS per init....Everyone got their ID"s and passports for clearing customs?
We gotta divert WHERE? Is customs notified? Do we have the fuel? What's with those thunderstorms over the island? Oh, great can't hear a thing on the HF today.......
Oh, and take care of the pax...be ready for those who treat you something worse than their maid and those that look down upon you like a dirty load of laundry because THEY are rich and powerful and you are not.....
There are plenty of nice ones....some want to be left alone...others want loads of attention and talk.....gotta make sure you don't do one when the other is wanted.....Watch what you say to them. If they ask you questions about the comapny be careful, you might get called to CMH and get fired.
Ooops, these people are scared of flying and "bumps"...better go back and chat with them and reassure them that it's OK.....
OK, they're bringing their dog....better line up a carpet clean at SFO......Oh, THREE dogs?
Ooops, dispatch filed us over the ocean...I guess the pink slip didn't catch up to them yet.
Ooops, OS messed up the destination and we're at the WRONG airport?
OS blamed us for WHAT????? Are you kidding me?????? It's blowing 28 gusting 42 with blowing snow and they're wondering why we're not going to TEB? Huh? Gotta call the ACP......The pax want to know why XYZ company is taking off in this junk but we're not? Gotta explain NJA's standards.....OK, they're ticked but I got them settled down.....
Ooops....the FMS/radio/pressurization/gear/engine/APU/anti-ice just died.....oh, great......(sorry, that has to do with flying the airplane)
Where's the pax limo? Wrong airport? Oh, no the RIGHT airport but someone else took their limo? Oh, great....better get that worked on......
Where's the van/taxi limo to the hotel? Oh, we don't have hotel info yet? We've been on duty for 14 hours and have a show at legal and there's no hotel info yet? And we have to get up at 4? Again?
What? No non-smoking rooms? Only double beds near the elevator/wedding reception/pool area/cheerleading competition? OK....I'm too tired....just gimme a room....I gotta get up in a few hours and do it all over again.....
So, Dispatcher....please don't tell me that all's they need me for is to fly the airplanes.....
I've been here a number of years.....It takes more than a few months to get truly GOOD at this job...more like a few years to really have a handle on it and to be able to anticipate what MIGHT MESS UP.....As Murphy says, "If it can go wrong, it will"....My job entails SO much more than flying and a LOT of it has to deal with anticipating what might go wrong and how to fix it so the owners don't notice a thing.....And it ALL comes down to the pilots making sure that it works and making sure that it's safe.
The buck stops with us and I can't tell you the number of times each day the pilots at Net Jets make it WORK despite what happens.....
And that's why we are worth a WHOLE LOT MORE THAN WE ARE BEING PAID.
And that's why they need us for more than "flying the airplanes".....
Man, it'd be a piece of cake if all's I had to worry about was flying the airplanes....
You said, "PLEASE... stick to flying planes. That's all they need you for."
If that is what you truly believe and not something said out of frustration, then you really don't know my job......nor, I suspect, do most employees in the Casino....
Flying the airplanes is the "EASY" part of my job....once that door closes, and I hit the GO button, I relax.....
Let's see...what else do they "need" me for?
Well, when I show up, I do the following and more:
I gotta pre-flight the airplane to make sure that it's airworthy....and if I find something wrong, I have to write it up, fax it in, confer with the APC on duty and call maintenance.
I gotta check the interior for the proper equipment, documents and paperwork---have to call the APC on duty if something is missing or amiss with any of that stuff.
I have to check the fuel load and see if I agree with what YOU think I should carry for fuel based on weather, traffic, the airport of departure, the airport of arrival, pax load, taxi time, diverting to an alternate, runway requirements ad nauseum.....(By the way, what they have you fuel us to is usually too low.....I don't know how many times I've added extra fuel that saved my butt....no criticism of you personally, but the fuel loads are sometimes downright dangerous and do not take into account what experience on the road has taught.)
Oh, and I have to check the weather, runway requirements, maintenance MEL's, and aircraft maintenance and service history to see if there are any trends that might bite me in the butt.
Am I at the right FBO? Is the plane here or at the one on the other side of the field and someone forgot to tell me? Is the van going to be on time this morning? Where is the crew food that we ordered?
Is tha pax cattering here? No? Gotta call the company....
Oh, the pax are gonna be late? Better check on the clearance void time, the arrival slot time and customs.
Have to fill out the customs forms.
Gotta load the bags.....golf clubs, a dining room chair set (did that the other day), enough clothes for a month at the Breakers in PBI....but they're only going for a long weekend.....
Where's the catering? Is everything here? What? No Dom? Call CMH and get a rush on a half-dozen splits.....
Is there coffee, water and ice? Papers? The pax want WHAT paper? Momma Warbucks wants all the candy and cookies taken off the plane when here kids on board? OK, gotta get that taken care of.
Did the fuel get put on correctly? What they filled the wings AND the main? OH, great.....We're overweight now....gotta call CMH on that one. Where's the ramp people? Seen anyone this morning? The FBO doesn't open 'til when and we're do out WHEN?
IS the carpet clean? How about the lav....that working? How about the water tank? How's the stock? What? haven't been to a locker in three days and there aren't any more Macadamia nuts? Or Diet Cokes? Or?????????
Hey, what's with the 20 minute turn in MCO dropping off pax and then picking up pax? And they're EARLY! OK< I'll go explain that one, you get the fuel, ATIS and clearance.
Oh, there is a change in the pax manifest? Call CMH....change the release....change the FMS per init....Everyone got their ID"s and passports for clearing customs?
We gotta divert WHERE? Is customs notified? Do we have the fuel? What's with those thunderstorms over the island? Oh, great can't hear a thing on the HF today.......
Oh, and take care of the pax...be ready for those who treat you something worse than their maid and those that look down upon you like a dirty load of laundry because THEY are rich and powerful and you are not.....
There are plenty of nice ones....some want to be left alone...others want loads of attention and talk.....gotta make sure you don't do one when the other is wanted.....Watch what you say to them. If they ask you questions about the comapny be careful, you might get called to CMH and get fired.
Ooops, these people are scared of flying and "bumps"...better go back and chat with them and reassure them that it's OK.....
OK, they're bringing their dog....better line up a carpet clean at SFO......Oh, THREE dogs?
Ooops, dispatch filed us over the ocean...I guess the pink slip didn't catch up to them yet.
Ooops, OS messed up the destination and we're at the WRONG airport?
OS blamed us for WHAT????? Are you kidding me?????? It's blowing 28 gusting 42 with blowing snow and they're wondering why we're not going to TEB? Huh? Gotta call the ACP......The pax want to know why XYZ company is taking off in this junk but we're not? Gotta explain NJA's standards.....OK, they're ticked but I got them settled down.....
Ooops....the FMS/radio/pressurization/gear/engine/APU/anti-ice just died.....oh, great......(sorry, that has to do with flying the airplane)
Where's the pax limo? Wrong airport? Oh, no the RIGHT airport but someone else took their limo? Oh, great....better get that worked on......
Where's the van/taxi limo to the hotel? Oh, we don't have hotel info yet? We've been on duty for 14 hours and have a show at legal and there's no hotel info yet? And we have to get up at 4? Again?
What? No non-smoking rooms? Only double beds near the elevator/wedding reception/pool area/cheerleading competition? OK....I'm too tired....just gimme a room....I gotta get up in a few hours and do it all over again.....
So, Dispatcher....please don't tell me that all's they need me for is to fly the airplanes.....
I've been here a number of years.....It takes more than a few months to get truly GOOD at this job...more like a few years to really have a handle on it and to be able to anticipate what MIGHT MESS UP.....As Murphy says, "If it can go wrong, it will"....My job entails SO much more than flying and a LOT of it has to deal with anticipating what might go wrong and how to fix it so the owners don't notice a thing.....And it ALL comes down to the pilots making sure that it works and making sure that it's safe.
The buck stops with us and I can't tell you the number of times each day the pilots at Net Jets make it WORK despite what happens.....
And that's why we are worth a WHOLE LOT MORE THAN WE ARE BEING PAID.
And that's why they need us for more than "flying the airplanes".....
Man, it'd be a piece of cake if all's I had to worry about was flying the airplanes....
Indeed, the flying is the fun part. The rest is work.
