I have never...

[Chunk]

Hex....

Don't you mean...You didn't do those things?


As for me, I have never, as a student pilot, made right traffic to Hill AFB thinking it was OGD, while talking to OGD tower..."Cessna 757PW, report position....7PW is abeam the tower, midfield......(hearing yelling in the background) 7PW be advised, that's Hill AFB!

I guess the 16's below me wasn't clue enough....nor the runway configuration....


Chunk

PS--Hex, Don't sweat it man, expect to make mistakes....that's how to learn!

 

[Flynfish]

I have never been flying along in a 1900, in cruise, and had the Capt. suddenly turn and ask me if I smelled smoke, only to take a huge whiff and get two nostrals full of the worse smelling methane gas ever produced.

 

[achick]

Typhoon 1244----


You know I was being sarcastic. Pilots are fun!

 

[Typhoon1244]

Typhoon 1244...you know I was being sarcastic. Pilots are fun!

Hmm. I've never heard that before...

 

[F.Gump]

Ive never noticed at 200 agl that the student had the mags of a C152 set to L or R and not BOTH.

Since it didnt happen, I never wouldve used the phrase "it climbed like a rocket ship when we got them both on".

Heh Heh Heh

 

[C/L Max]

...accidentally tripped the Left Main Start circuit breaker while fumbling for my approach plate...at night...IMC, extinguishing my EFIS and all cockpit lighting, and killing the autopilot.

...mistaken Wright-Patterson for Dayton.

...talked to the flight attendant through the intercom and the passengers through the PA, simulataneously, about how horrible the weather in MDW was.

...hollered "JESUS! MAX POWER!" when someone flushed the toilet in a Saab.

...asked my FO "Was that a runway?" while taxiing.

...asked my FO "Where the hell am I going?" while taxiing.

...asked my FO "Where the hell are you going?" while he's flying.

...asked my FO "Where the hell am I going?" while I'm flying.

...asked the FO "Who the hell are you?" after I hopped into the wrong airplane.

..told my FO "you didn't see that."

...filled out a NASA report in flight.

...back-dated a NASA report.

...called in-range over Center freq.

...called Center on Company freq.

...called for catering on ARINC.

...caused a passenger to scream in terror, in flight.

...knocked both the cockpit and cabin fire extinguishers from their brackets while landing in a Jetstream in Milwaukee.

...set off the GPWS trying to recover from a high approach.

...set off the Config warning when setting landing flaps, because I forgot to put the gear down.

...set off the Config warning because I forgot to push the condition levers all the way forward.

...bugged the wrong speed on takeoff.

...been lost.

...been confused.

 

[Typhoon1244]

I have never...set off the Config warning because I forgot to push the condition levers all the way forward...

Would you believe the Brasilia doesn't give you a takeoff "CONFIG" warning if the condition levers aren't up? The only warning you get is this insane muffled leaf-blower sound from the props...

...at least, that's what I was told.

Speaking of NASA reports I've never filed...

I've never crossed a point at FL240 that I was cleared to cross at 11,000. (I imagine the controller couldn't remember whether he'd given us the restriction or not...)

I've never heard a F/O promise that he removed all the gear pins...only to have the nose gear stay down after takeoff.

I've never been accidentally given a climb and a turn that were intended for another aircraft...and gotten a really good look at the belly of an American MD-83.

I've never tried to show my new wife a snap roll in a 152, only to screw it up so badly that it turned into an erratic split-S...at dusk, yet...and heard her shout "wow, that was amazing! Can you do it again?"

I've never been late to the airport because the flight attendant slept through her wakeup call. Twice.

I've never forgotten my F/O's name in the middle of a conversation. (People can tell when you're looking at their I.D. badges, I've discovered.)

 

[FlyboyPhil]

Gotta add a few..

I've never

...practiced unusual attitude recoveries while doing paperwork in a non-autopilot aircraft in IMC.

... followed the wrong airway 8 miles from the VOR and made a huge course correction.

... added a little power in the flare to give the gear time to come down

.... left half my cargo sitting on a cart just outside the office door and flown across the state.

... left the master on and begged a loaner battery.

... left the landing gear down on a 6 month 135 check and wondered why I was so slow in cruise.

... moved the fuel selector valve to off instead of moving the heater control in a seneca.

... had the flaps stuck at 15 and moved them to 30 to see if that would unfreeze em.. and flown 30 miles back to the field stuck at flaps 30.

... used power settings higher than the company settings.

... discussed the sexual deviance of the chief pilot on company freq.. while he was listening...

Thats enough for one day.. gotta get another username so I can cut the jail time down if they catch me...

 

[Typhoon1244]

I have never... moved the fuel selector valve to off instead of moving the heater control in a Seneca.

Did you stay warm?

 

[uavchaser]

I've defintely never...

...taken off with the oil cap off

...read magazines in formation flight and lost sight of the other aircraft

...asked approach for a "transponder check" to find out where the position of the aircraft I lost

...done hammerhead turns in a 206

...done 60 banks in slow flight 500 AGL in a 206

...flown under 15' powerlines on a dry lake

...dropped various objects to hit abandoned trailers or porta-potties

...had a metal lapboard hit me in the head in severe turbulence

...put in the altitude in the VSI window of the altitude preselect

...had my girlfriend perform "services" in night IMC

...flown though the stream of fuel being dumped from an aircraft i was chasing

...taken off with full up trim...numerous times

...taken off with the speed brakes on

...told my girlfriend what i was going to do with her when we got home on ground frequency

...grabbed a pitot tube right after turning the heat off resulting in severe burns and many obscenities

...stained my sandels and feet red with hydrolic fluid leaking under the rudder pedals

...7 hours thirty minutes bottle to throttle

...done a jump start from a motorcycle

enjoy