I have never...

[wingnutt]

I have never dug up a thread that was a year old...

...allowing the whole world to get a good, healthy glimpse of my newbie-ness

 

[skychaser]

I've never cancelled IFR on top in hopes to find a hole at destination, only to find no hole!

I've never turned the transponder to ON to avoid atc realizing
my low altitude.

I've never flown under the GW, Tapanzee or Veranzano...but know those who have.

I've never gone past a hold short line.

I've never been stuck in the water soaked grass on the edge of a taxiway while making a 180.

I've never been closer than 500/1000/2000 from clouds while VFR.

I've never told a student to do anything that I didn't know everything about.

I've never forgotten my certificate while flying.

I've never keyed up the wrong frequency.

I've never even considered reporting my position to tower as anything other than where I actually am, to get a straight in.

I never forget the cowl flaps.

 

[ibaflyer]

Ok.. I have a few.

I have never walked into the flaps on a 172 and left diamonds embeded on my forehead.

........hung the dip stick on the prop of a 172 to remind me to add oil and get into the plane and start the engine thus throwing the dip stick accross the ramp.

.....told the person sitting next to me to look out the right side of the plane then unhook his seat belt and dive the plane.

.....tossed cremated remains out of a plane had had them come back into the cabin.

.....have a pax onboard and yell out "OH MY GOD!" for no reason at all.

...... buzzed the entire runway and announced to area traffic that Lance xxxx is going around

 

[floatflyer99]

Never...

Buzzed a runway on straight floats...

Lined up for a closed runway...

Landed in the wrong lake by mistake and barely had room to get out again...

Flown through a fog bank...

Been flying through a river valley, poked through a friendly little wisp of fog only to discover a power line filling the top of the windshield...

Landed in some guy's back yard 'cause I had to take a leak...

Dispersed 50 gallons of fuel over untracked wilderness due to a lack of tightness in the fuel cap retention system...

Landed on a lake after dark...

Fallen asleep at the controls with no autopilot/copilot...

Flown a circling approach just to wake someone up on the ground...

Turned final over the fence at 200' when asked to keep it in close...

and I've never been accused of being a "kamakaze pilot".

 

[cessna_driver2]

I've never ordered some airport Burger King on tower frequency late at night when attempting to obtain food on company frequency. Dont know who would do such a thing.

I have gotten bar-b-que for the tower guy a few years ago. Nothing will get you a quicker approach than bringing food for the tower people.

Ok so it was night and a class D airport with nobody around.

 

[cessna_driver2]

I've never ordered some airport Burger King on tower frequency late at night when attempting to obtain food on company frequency. Dont know who would do such a thing.

I have gotten bar-b-que for the tower guy a few years ago. Nothing will get you a quicker approach than bringing food for the tower people.

Ok so it was night and a class D airport with nobody around.

 

[I.P. Freley]

From the GA files...

I have never turned off the alternator in a single-engine Piper (switch looks just like the light switch, if I remember), lost all the radios half an hour later, and done a lost-comm approach into an uncontrolled field with everyone wondering why in the heck I didn't self-announce when entering the airport area and landing.

Never did it. I swear.

 

[localizer11]

I never said this:

"Folks, welcome aboard flight XXXX service to.... uhh....

-turn to F/O and ask " where the he!! are we going ?"

All the time with a hot mike on the PA.

Like I said though, it never happened to me.

 

[cessna_driver2]

As for piper. Never turned the nav lights on and leave them on until I land and then realized I don't have gear down lights.

 

[I.P. Freley]

OMG! I just remembered something I never did... But someone else did.

Imagine, if you will, a new student pilot who has learned from his Cessna manual that if you put your mouth on the stall warning opening and suck on it, you will hear the horn (insert joke here...). Anyway, I believe the manual also tells you to put a hankerchief over the opening, but never mind.

Now imagine, if you will, the student is REALLY confused and thinks the pitot tube is the stall warning opening.

Now imagine, if you will, that he's already turned on the master switch and the pitot heat is on. Has been on for a couple of minutes, even.

Now imagine, if you will, the problems that would ensue.

Or don't, it's almost too horrible to contemplate.