Amish RakeFight
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- Dec 28, 2005
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divorce corner
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crash-proof
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414Flyer
Down with Chemtrails!
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Why is it that someone that beats you, you hang around for years, and someone that treated you good, you lost interest?
I wonder if thats why jobless gang bangers, biker gang members, etc, have no problem meeting women.
414Flyer
Down with Chemtrails!
- Joined
- Jan 20, 2002
- Posts
- 4,948
Not completely germane, but funny.
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sea/274495936.html
Vasectomy: $400. Speechless look on her face: priceless.
Date: 2007-02-06, 2:24PM PST
I'll try to sum up a funny story that happened a few years ago:
I got a vasectomy.
I met a girl soon afterwards. She was nice and attractive but with a selfish streak that raised a big red flag. She was 32 at the time and I could practically HEAR her biological clock ticking. Regardless, she was a good lay, easy on the eyes, and reasonably good company.
I did NOT tell her about my vasectomy and I always used a condom with her to protect against STDs. She assumed, obviously, that the condom was only used for birth control. Silly girl.
We date for a few months. I never made any move towards commitment but she brought it up ocassionally. For me, this was a casual but pleasant relationship. For her - as I was to find out - it was part of life-changing series of events that she was planning very carefully.
Four months into dating, I get the "I'm pregnant" talk. She's going on and on about how the condom must have broke and now we really need to think about getting married "for the baby". She's positively giddy. She has a baby in her and she thinks she's gonna have a good meal ticket (me) to go along with her new 7lb annuity.
At this point, I'm just as giddy. I get to pull the reverse "oops" on her. I figured that she slept with some bad boy and got knocked up. Good thing I was using condoms! Better still that I have a serious mistrust of women who can't think beyond their own uteri.
So I wait a couple of days to "think about all this." I meet her again. I say I don't want kids and that she should have an abortion. I know where this is going and sure enough it goes there. She goes completely bat******************** insane on me. There were the usual insults about my manhood. There were threats of legal action. It was all very ugly and I was loving every minute of it.
Well, I let her stew for a few days. She leaves me nasty messages on my phone. She sends awful emails. I'm laughing hysterically.
It was time to drop the hammer. While she was stewing I was busy. First I get a notarized copy from the urologist who performed the vasectomy. Next I get a notarized copy of the TWO test results indicating a "negative test result for sperm" to show I'm sterile and shooting blanks. Finally, I get a letter from a shark attorney stating he has seen the other documents and is prepared to litigate against this woman if she continues to communicate with me in such an unpleasant manner. Also, the letter states that we will insist on DNA testing to show that the baby is not mine. I'm ready.
I meet with this woman at her place. I bring flowers and a small bit of jewelry to show I am willing to reconcile and assume my responsibilities as a new father. I also have stuck in my pocket the documents I have prepared.
She's all giddy again. Her plan is going perfectly - or so she thinks. We talk about our future. We have some pretty good sex. Then, as I am about to walk out the door, I ask her the $64,000 question. "Are you sure that this baby is mine?"
Well, she goes bat******************** insane again. Hell, she ought to. Her plan could completely unravel if there is ANY question about my paternity. Oh, she's really screaming now. How dare I question her morals. Do I think she's a slut. I'm just trying to weasel out of my responsibilities... blah, blah, blah, yadda, yadda, yadda.
I'm not really mad. I'm kind of embarrassed for her. But since she won't shut up and the neighbors can hear all of this, I ask her to step back inside and sit down. She sits on the sofa and calms down a bit. She is glaring at me with all the moral self-righteousness that only a woman can muster up. She thinks she has me trapped. She is 100% convinced her plan has worked. Oh, the tangled web of lies and deceit she has wrought around herself and I am about to hack through them with a few pieces of paper.
I reach into my pocket slowly. I extract the three pieces of paper and unfold them slowly and deliberately.
I tell her simply, "You're screwed".
Her look doesn't change. There is no way she can fathom what I have prepared.
I continue. "I am sterile"
Her look changes just a bit. Something is beginning to sink in. Naturally, she reverts to women's logic. "You're full of ********************. You're trapped and you know it."
I hold up the letter and the test results. "Three months before we met, I had a vasectomy. Here is a notarized letter from him stating what I had done. Here are two test results showing that I tested negative for the presence of sperm. Blanks. I am shooting blanks. That baby inside you is simply not mine."
This woman is not to be swayed by logic and clear documentation. "Bull********************, those are fakes."
I was ready for that. "No, they are real. This last piece of paper is from my attorney. It's a simple letter to you that states if you pursue any kind of legal action against me for child support that I will insist on a DNA test to prove paternity, that is, to prove that your baby is not mine."
I give the woman all the documents. She reads them slowly, deliberately. With each passing second she can feel in her soul that she has made a very bad mistake. With denial swept away, she started to cry. It's a small cry at first. Then it becomes deeper and more painful. By the time she gets to the letter from the lawyer she is sobbing.
I had no sympathy for her. I turned and walked out the door. Even after I closed the door I could still hear her sobbing.
Epilogue -
I never heard directly from this woman again. I did hear through my friends that she did indeed have the baby. I also heard that the real father was some guy in a band she had met. I assumed that after 30, women stopped going after musicians, bikers, criminals, and thugs. Silly me for thinking the best of American women.
The Moral of the Story -
Get a vasectomy but keep it a secret.
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sea/274495936.html
Vasectomy: $400. Speechless look on her face: priceless.
Date: 2007-02-06, 2:24PM PST
I'll try to sum up a funny story that happened a few years ago:
I got a vasectomy.
I met a girl soon afterwards. She was nice and attractive but with a selfish streak that raised a big red flag. She was 32 at the time and I could practically HEAR her biological clock ticking. Regardless, she was a good lay, easy on the eyes, and reasonably good company.
I did NOT tell her about my vasectomy and I always used a condom with her to protect against STDs. She assumed, obviously, that the condom was only used for birth control. Silly girl.
We date for a few months. I never made any move towards commitment but she brought it up ocassionally. For me, this was a casual but pleasant relationship. For her - as I was to find out - it was part of life-changing series of events that she was planning very carefully.
Four months into dating, I get the "I'm pregnant" talk. She's going on and on about how the condom must have broke and now we really need to think about getting married "for the baby". She's positively giddy. She has a baby in her and she thinks she's gonna have a good meal ticket (me) to go along with her new 7lb annuity.
At this point, I'm just as giddy. I get to pull the reverse "oops" on her. I figured that she slept with some bad boy and got knocked up. Good thing I was using condoms! Better still that I have a serious mistrust of women who can't think beyond their own uteri.
So I wait a couple of days to "think about all this." I meet her again. I say I don't want kids and that she should have an abortion. I know where this is going and sure enough it goes there. She goes completely bat******************** insane on me. There were the usual insults about my manhood. There were threats of legal action. It was all very ugly and I was loving every minute of it.
Well, I let her stew for a few days. She leaves me nasty messages on my phone. She sends awful emails. I'm laughing hysterically.
It was time to drop the hammer. While she was stewing I was busy. First I get a notarized copy from the urologist who performed the vasectomy. Next I get a notarized copy of the TWO test results indicating a "negative test result for sperm" to show I'm sterile and shooting blanks. Finally, I get a letter from a shark attorney stating he has seen the other documents and is prepared to litigate against this woman if she continues to communicate with me in such an unpleasant manner. Also, the letter states that we will insist on DNA testing to show that the baby is not mine. I'm ready.
I meet with this woman at her place. I bring flowers and a small bit of jewelry to show I am willing to reconcile and assume my responsibilities as a new father. I also have stuck in my pocket the documents I have prepared.
She's all giddy again. Her plan is going perfectly - or so she thinks. We talk about our future. We have some pretty good sex. Then, as I am about to walk out the door, I ask her the $64,000 question. "Are you sure that this baby is mine?"
Well, she goes bat******************** insane again. Hell, she ought to. Her plan could completely unravel if there is ANY question about my paternity. Oh, she's really screaming now. How dare I question her morals. Do I think she's a slut. I'm just trying to weasel out of my responsibilities... blah, blah, blah, yadda, yadda, yadda.
I'm not really mad. I'm kind of embarrassed for her. But since she won't shut up and the neighbors can hear all of this, I ask her to step back inside and sit down. She sits on the sofa and calms down a bit. She is glaring at me with all the moral self-righteousness that only a woman can muster up. She thinks she has me trapped. She is 100% convinced her plan has worked. Oh, the tangled web of lies and deceit she has wrought around herself and I am about to hack through them with a few pieces of paper.
I reach into my pocket slowly. I extract the three pieces of paper and unfold them slowly and deliberately.
I tell her simply, "You're screwed".
Her look doesn't change. There is no way she can fathom what I have prepared.
I continue. "I am sterile"
Her look changes just a bit. Something is beginning to sink in. Naturally, she reverts to women's logic. "You're full of ********************. You're trapped and you know it."
I hold up the letter and the test results. "Three months before we met, I had a vasectomy. Here is a notarized letter from him stating what I had done. Here are two test results showing that I tested negative for the presence of sperm. Blanks. I am shooting blanks. That baby inside you is simply not mine."
This woman is not to be swayed by logic and clear documentation. "Bull********************, those are fakes."
I was ready for that. "No, they are real. This last piece of paper is from my attorney. It's a simple letter to you that states if you pursue any kind of legal action against me for child support that I will insist on a DNA test to prove paternity, that is, to prove that your baby is not mine."
I give the woman all the documents. She reads them slowly, deliberately. With each passing second she can feel in her soul that she has made a very bad mistake. With denial swept away, she started to cry. It's a small cry at first. Then it becomes deeper and more painful. By the time she gets to the letter from the lawyer she is sobbing.
I had no sympathy for her. I turned and walked out the door. Even after I closed the door I could still hear her sobbing.
Epilogue -
I never heard directly from this woman again. I did hear through my friends that she did indeed have the baby. I also heard that the real father was some guy in a band she had met. I assumed that after 30, women stopped going after musicians, bikers, criminals, and thugs. Silly me for thinking the best of American women.
The Moral of the Story -
Get a vasectomy but keep it a secret.
Amish RakeFight
Registered Loser
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2005
- Posts
- 8,006
No problem JetFo glad to help.
3 months now after posting that, I have seen and done more things then I ever thought possible. After digging my way out of that crap hole of a failed marriage.
Divorce final first of March.
Repaired credit rating making it jump a 100 points to the good, live in 1500 squ; foot above garage apartment fully furnished for $200 a months all bills paid in great location, 3 trips to Europe with second part time gig. Big pay raise from primary job.
Met beautiful 32 year old, red headed Russian, “and the Russian women still have the family values of being a team together, not a bloody competitor” she is taking me to Russia for vacation next month. 3 months from now I’ll be scuba diving with her in Mexico, Turned 45 and bought a 2007 Ford Mustang GT/CS California Special, have more money now then I know what to do with.
It is amazing how one’s life can turn to crap in a instant and then after some time become better then it ever was! Also knowing that what goes around comes around.
As was said by others here, the best thing that EVER HAPPENED to me was for the X to get hooked up with old captain! LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I guess I should tell X thanks, but really just hate the #%^%&%! For having put me threw that hell for no reason, meaning if you are someone out there who’s thinking of leaving your other half, then DON’T PLAY THEM FOR 5 MONTHS TELLING THEM IT WILL WORK OUT, when all they were doing was trying to be better off with the money!!!!!!
I’m glad that I have had no contact with either of them and hopefully NEVER will! It wouldn’t be good for them!
So to all the people out there male or female that get burned and thrown away like a used piece of what ever and thought that it was the love of your life! Just make it through the hard times you will “drink a lot!!!!!VT’s work real good LOL” and soon one day you’ll wakeup from the nightmare.
No I’m not some bull sh$% marriage expert and everyone is different, but I did learn a lot about myself and people, also what they are capable of in the hurt department, and that’s both sides by the way.
And I do know this now, from old TV show! “my future so bright I have to wear sunglasses”
Good luck to everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
3 months now after posting that, I have seen and done more things then I ever thought possible. After digging my way out of that crap hole of a failed marriage.
Divorce final first of March.
Repaired credit rating making it jump a 100 points to the good, live in 1500 squ; foot above garage apartment fully furnished for $200 a months all bills paid in great location, 3 trips to Europe with second part time gig. Big pay raise from primary job.
Met beautiful 32 year old, red headed Russian, “and the Russian women still have the family values of being a team together, not a bloody competitor” she is taking me to Russia for vacation next month. 3 months from now I’ll be scuba diving with her in Mexico, Turned 45 and bought a 2007 Ford Mustang GT/CS California Special, have more money now then I know what to do with.
It is amazing how one’s life can turn to crap in a instant and then after some time become better then it ever was! Also knowing that what goes around comes around.
As was said by others here, the best thing that EVER HAPPENED to me was for the X to get hooked up with old captain! LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I guess I should tell X thanks, but really just hate the #%^%&%! For having put me threw that hell for no reason, meaning if you are someone out there who’s thinking of leaving your other half, then DON’T PLAY THEM FOR 5 MONTHS TELLING THEM IT WILL WORK OUT, when all they were doing was trying to be better off with the money!!!!!!
I’m glad that I have had no contact with either of them and hopefully NEVER will! It wouldn’t be good for them!
So to all the people out there male or female that get burned and thrown away like a used piece of what ever and thought that it was the love of your life! Just make it through the hard times you will “drink a lot!!!!!VT’s work real good LOL” and soon one day you’ll wakeup from the nightmare.
No I’m not some bull sh$% marriage expert and everyone is different, but I did learn a lot about myself and people, also what they are capable of in the hurt department, and that’s both sides by the way.
And I do know this now, from old TV show! “my future so bright I have to wear sunglasses”
Good luck to everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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