divorce corner

[NuGuy]

Heyas,

Been down this road. All I can say is if you are planning of getting married, GET A PRE-NUP. Now with people getting married later in life, very often both partners bring something to the table, so this goes for the girls as well as the guys.

Some might say "well, you are planning to fail"...if you look at the stats, it's not good either way.

I did mine as a second thought, and it was fairly simple. She had a decent career, and she didn't have any problem signing it. I wouldn't have gone through with it if she hadn't.

In the end, it saved my a$$. We were only married a short time, but she decided that she was too inflexible to deal with aviation. We were going end it amicably, but as soon as she got "advice", she decided she was going to try to make some bank.

The pre-nup really prevented that...no laywer wanted to touch it without big cash up front..cash that was't comming from me. Quite a few of them are looking for easier game. In the end, I was only out about a grand in lawyer and filing fees, and I kept everything I came in with, including my home and car. She didn't get anything at all.

Please, please, please, learn from a relatively happy ending. If you are thinking about marrage...give a pre-nup VERY serious consideration.

Nu

 

[G21Agoose]

I have been married for a long time.

I have children who I love and my wife and I created these fantastic little people. Things are not always great- or even good- and are sometimes miserable. BUT I am there for the long run- for my children, for my wife, and for myself.
Divorce is incredibly hard and painful and I offer my best to those who are going through it. But, working at something, no matter how impossibly difficult it seems, might just be the answer in the end.
Good Luck.

 

[SPilot]

I married two months ago, with a woman I met two days before the wedding (no waiting time in Las Vegas!!). I love being married, but foresee a hard break-up in may 2009.

 

[Oh-ryan]

I know on this thread everyone is all touchy/feely... yadda yadda yadda. I've puked in my own mouth several times while reading some of this blubber. I am not here to poke fun at your breakups. I am here, however, to poke fun at the guys who want their cats back. First off, let the b!tch keep the cat... you shouldn't have had one in the first place. Secondly... get a dog.

 

[jetfo]

I’m on the back side of mine now, together for 7 years, split in SEP. 2006. File DEC 2006. Turned out all she ever wanted was a green card and a flying job that I helped her get.

My flying job kept me on the road for sometime. So after the first month she told me that she didn’t need me any more. In the end she had hooked up with her 63 year old captain that’s 32 year older then her. Guess there happy flying charter together in BUF.

I never saw it coming.

But do hang in there and it will get better. The hardest part is trying to stop the VIDEO REPLAYS IN YOUR MIND………………

And the “what if`s” from morning to night. It is amazing how little sleep you get, how much weight you loose and still manage to work. Try not to drink to much because it doesn’t help.

Friends are the greatest help. I also found a site that really helped me.


“http://www.divorcerecovery101.com/site_map.html


Remember this “the sun will come up tomorrow and you never know what the tide will bring in”.

Thanks for your input, it helps!

 

[dojetdriver]

It's simple, www.nomarriage.com

 

[atpcliff]

Hi!

General Advice:
The "25/30" rule. The girl should be at least 25, the guy 30. Recent brain research has shown that our brains don't stop developing until about age 25, and we all now guys are about 5 years behind women in the maturation process. If you don't believe me, substitute teach in Grade 9 for a day.

Marriage is not an EVENT. It's a PROCESS, and takes continual work. The less relationship work your partner does, the more you have to do to make it work. If you don't want to work, don't get married.

Sex:
The #1 complaint by ALL couples worldwide is sexual incompatibility. In other words, one partner wants it more than the other, and it's enough to cause problems. So, if you are in this situation, realize that everyone else is also, and changing partners probably won't change things. Keep talking, and keep working on it, and just deal with it when things get tough-hopefully they'll get better. People's desire changes over time, so if you're not getting enough, or are being badgered about not giving it up, things will probably "improve" over time.

If you're a typical guy like me, who likes it, realize that the one who wears the skirt has all the power. Try your best to help your wife out, and don't sweat the small stuff. Save your ammunition for the really, really important stuff. If it's minor, go along with your wife, and things will be a lot better. Remember, "Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated."

If you're a typical wife of a typical guy who likes it, I recommend RBJs. I know of several wives who do this, and they swear by it. Their husbands are at their beck and call, and their girlfriends are all jealous and wanted to learn their secret.
Note: I did NOT think this idea up-I just read about it. And, my CEO (otherwise known as the Supreme Being), unfortunately for me, doesn't subscribe to this idea.

Me:
I got married in college (violate the 25/30 rule right off). I was devoted to my wife and did not want to get divorced, period. I finally relented (at the 4 year point) because she was adamant that she wanted to marry her "Christian" boyfriend and live in a "Christian" family. She got married 2 weeks after the divorce. I felt much better, surprisingly, after I agreed to her divorce request, AND I paid off all my credit cards!

I remarried to another "2nd timer". We have had difficult times, and times when I was the only one working on our relationship, but it paid off big time. Things are going great (13 years this year), and we have 2 fantastic kids (we were lucky in that we had no kids the first time). Sometimes I get mad at our kids, or have to discipline them, but I continually let them know that they are good kids, and that we love them, which goes a long way.

I buy my CEO (and her female assistant, when I bring treats to work) flowers at random times, give her tons of positive feedback, and I'm ALWAYS telling her I love her at least 10x a day. Sometimes she jokes around and tells me she's not sure how I feel about her because I've only told her 5-6 times that day.

She had some pretty hard edges when we first met, but my (almost) 100% positive feedback has finally worked. She is a lot less defensive, and much more open to me (and others) and we have a fantastic relationship now. I've also grown through the process of our relationship, and I think I'm a lot better husband and father now than when we were first married.

My flying is good for us, because we have our own space when we're gone, and we look forward to spending time together. I was averaging 11 days off per month, but I'll be getting more soon. I had about 13 days off before, and my CEO liked that a lot.

Whether you're thinking about ending a serious relationship, getting married, getting divorced, or making a big relationship change, I wish you the best.

God Bless,
cliff
YIP

Here's some videos on the subject:
Is your spouse/significant other a lazy slug? Tell them to “Get A Job”:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a0FiFqL1fDk

Pi$$ed off at the hubby or the other woman (alien or not)? Mad and just want to blow stuff up? Don't mess with a Cold Hard B!tch:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i4049BAwTD8

Had it with stuck up, demanding princesses? Watch Madonna get ridden hard, compliments of BMW:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cQ5Je2D-eGg

Need some love? All Is Love, by Bjork:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cQ5Je2D-eGg

An excellent, sappy relationship video, by Regina Spektor (ironically titled “Fidelity”):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cQ5Je2D-eGg

Would you like to feel BETTER? RS:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JGBNFEjPl38

The weight of the world got you down? A positive and uplifting message by Terra Naomi:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AlXlhFlHR8A

 

[atpcliff]

Hi!

Sorry, I SCREWED UP the video links.

Here is the correction:


Here's some videos on the subject:
Is your spouse/significant other a lazy slug? Tell them to “Get A Job”:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a0FiFqL1fDk



Pi$$ed off at the hubby or the other woman (alien or not)? Mad and just want to blow stuff up? Don't mess with a Cold Hard B!tch:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tKxxN5-VXbE



Had it with stuck up, demanding princesses? Watch Madonna get ridden hard, compliments of BMW:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cQ5Je2D-eGg



Need some love? All Is Full Of Love, by Bjork:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PohypzefANU



An excellent, sappy relationship video, by Regina Spektor (ironically titled “Fidelity”):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SGTDRztaCCw



Would you like to feel BETTER? RS:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JGBNFEjPl38



The weight of the world got you down? A positive and uplifting message by Terra Naomi:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AlXlhFlHR8A

 

[crash-proof]

If you're a typical wife of a typical guy who likes it, I recommend RBJs. I know of several wives who do this, and they swear by it.

RBJs???

Really Bad Jokes? Rochester Business Journal? Red Bean Jelly?

 

[av8orboy]

I newly married so the sex is good, the companionship is great, I couldn't be happier. I want to know the leading cause of your divorces? I really feel bad hearing about your divorces but I wonder what is was that got you to this point?

Airplanes