Crew Fisticuffs!

[landlover]

Ain't a damn thing wrong with a good old fist fight. Infact, I often challenge my capt to one just to kill time while waiting for freight.

 

[Grinder10]

One of our dispatchers from India was trying to tell me about and altercation between two of his coworkers last year. He speaks very good English for the most part, but I had to laugh when he told me, "Yeah man. They were going to fist each other!"

 

[saabservant]

Harr Harr Harr! Excellent!

"This is rajeeb, your crew scheduler in Bombay, how may I fist you today?"

 

[ASARJMan]

Now it seems to be headed towards Jerry Springer land. Why?

Been this way for quite so time now, years probally. I kinda like it that way!

VOTED IN FAVOR!

 

[Spinn555]

Dear Mesaba pilots,

Assuming this story is true, we at ASA are horribly embarrassed to have such a chump acting as captain on any of our aircraft. Rest assured also that in addition to the azz-whooping you hopefully inflicted on said loser, that he will get quite the lecture from us in our crewroom as well once we discover who he/she (debatable at this point) is. Why anyone working at ASA would worry about a "crew delay" boggles the mind, as this is the catch-all term that is applied to any and every delay taken out of ATL (most of the time unbeknownst to the crew unless they look it up later). Also, with the treatment we have received over the past 4 years of 'negotiations' from this management, it is shocking anyone out there is even trying to be on time anymore. All I can really hope for in this is that the ASA Cpt in question was a certain one of our chief pilots.

-Blucher

And we here at PODUNK Airlines want to show our support for you guys at ASA, for showing your support to Mesaba guys during this situation, who showed their support, I'm sure, for all the guys at INDY AIR, show showed their support for everyone at Chicago Express (Windy City), and I'm sure that there was support from Chicago Express to everyone at Corporate Airlines during their times of struggle.

There, one guy can show his companies support (speaking for a few thousand people), towards tens of thousands of people all within one paragraph! HA!

Oh, and how could I forget...the ever-so-popular...

You guys are welcome in my jumpseat anytime!

*gag*

 

[Huck]

Nice to know Yvander Beattyfield is still flying at ASA....

 

[nwaredtail]

Here's my fuuny van story. waiting for the crew in BOI and there is a UAL crew alos waiting. The UAL crew is talking among themselves, except for the Captain, who is off by himself. We all get in the full van and it's pretty quiet (because it's 6:00 am or so) UAL captain proceeds to get on his cell phone and has the following 2 conversations.

"Hi, this is Capt. soandso and will there be someone at the gate to let me on since we will be :30 minutes early to show?(nice at 6:00am, huh) Well, I will need someone there. What is the fuel load on the aircraft right now? (waits about 5 minutes for answer as the ramp agent is now pissed). Ok, thanks. "

now for second call

"yes, this is Capt soandso for flight 222 out of BOI. What is the wx in ORD? OK, ad traffic delays? OK, I would like to exercise my Captain's authority and add (get this) 500 lbs of fuel to the load for possible enroute problems. (Dispatcher now tells captain that he expects none, but if he really wants it.....) Yes, I want to exercise my Captain authorty... (actually says it twice)

By now, I and my crew are dying and I glance at the UAL F/o and gives me the "can you imagine what a trip this has been" look. Well, I decide, what the hell, I pull out my cell phone (now I'm the F/O)and call myself and have this conversation.

"Hello scheduling, If the captain wants to leave the layover hotel early, am I required to go since there probably won't be anyone there to open the gate and I would like the extra rest???? (wait for the simulated answer) OK thanks, can you transfer me to dispatch? Hi, this is the FO from flight 333 out of BOI (starting to hear laughter from the UAL F/A's) I am going to check the weather when I get to the airport because I will have 78 minutes to do so and I have been doing this same thing for the last 10 years and don't really care what the weather is, but can you tell me the score of the Notre Dame game last night. Thanks.

At this point, everyone is crying except Capt. Authority, who , I swear to God, had no clus I was making fun of him. I Loved how he had all the time in the world to call at the hotel, but waited for the crew van to call. And he wore his hat in the van.

priceless.........

 

[Flyforyou]

Dude... I'm laughing my a$$ off at that one... I think we've ALL flown with a Captain like that once...

Fly

 

[CA1900]

Heh... reminds me of the NWA crew at the Buffalo Millennium Hotel a while back. We all pile in for the 6am van, but one of the NWA FAs isn't there yet. Bear in mind we have a short overnight and a 6:10am show, so the 6am van (it only ran half-hourly) is cutting it close.

A couple minutes go by, and I chime in: "Hey, we gotta get going here. Can your FA take the next one?"

"No. We stick together as a crew."

Pause...

"Then you better get off and be late as a crew, then, because we were on-time, and I intend to keep it that way. Driver?"

He started get mad and turn red, right as the FA finally showed up. Priceless.

 

[Patriot328]

Dude... I'm laughing my a$$ off at that one... I think we've ALL flown with a Captain like that once...

Fly

Dude, I thought you WERE the captain like that... (?)


Sorry, just couldn't resist..