Bogus pilots

[CorpLearDriver]

At an outdoor bar in Wichita about 9 years ago as a 1900 driver with 3 of my co-workers. Sitting next to us was 3 guys, one gal speaking loudly about airplanes. We start chatting and they say they fly for DAL on the 737. Cool, I say, what model? The A model. Awesome, you guys are cool that must be a real hard job. Is it hard to be a pilot? So, what does a pilot's license look like? Like a drivers license? (as a take my ATP out of my wallet). No it's larger, yada, yada, yada. My co-workers and I proceded to bust them big time. Pretty funny overall and they fessed up and were humbled pretty quick. They commented on the odds of trying that story on a couple of airline pilots...

I think the best bust I ever heard was during and airline interview. The applicant had a lot of DHC-6 Twin Otter time in his logbook. So one of the interviewers asked him to describe the emergency gear extension system on the Twotter and this guy went into elaberate detail about the emergency blow-down system and all. They thanked him for his time and told him they'd get back to him. As he walked out into the lobby, another applicant asked him what some of the technical questions were. He told him about the Twin Otter question and the other applicant asked him incredulously what he answered. The guy once again explained, in front of a number of other pilots and was told the Twin Otter has fixed gear. I would have loved to see the look on his face.

 

[IFollowRoads]

I think the best bust I ever heard was during and airline interview. The applicant had a lot of DHC-6 Twin Otter time in his logbook. So one of the interviewers asked him to describe the emergency gear extension system on the Twotter and this guy went into elaberate detail about the emergency blow-down system and all. They thanked him for his time and told him they'd get back to him. As he walked out into the lobby, another applicant asked him what some of the technical questions were. He told him about the Twin Otter question and the other applicant asked him incredulously what he answered. The guy once again explained, in front of a number of other pilots and was told the Twin Otter has fixed gear. I would have loved to see the look on his face.

I think this one wins the prize.

 

[fxbat]

But you never really know, I could not believe the one about Vietnam where one fighter nudged up under his wing man that had taken massive damage and pushed him out to sea for a safe ejection.

 

[AerroMatt]

But you never really know, I could not believe the one about Vietnam where one fighter nudged up under his wing man that had taken massive damage and pushed him out to sea for a safe ejection.

Yanno... I had read about this one as being a Korean War story. Was reported as being true. Just can't remember the names, although I think I remember that it was F86 aircraft. It was over 30 years ago when I read about this story though, so my memory is a bit hazy. If I recall, this guy held up a shattered wingtip of his wingman's airplane with his own wingtip. Is this the same story? Maybe also the wingman was unconscious due to O2 failure... I can't recall. Good tale all the same. Sure hope no poser tries to hijack this story to regale some floozy about his exploits over Afghanistan.

 

[inthewind]

When I was a new hire at Atlantic Coast I was going through systems on the D-328 and the instructor f-in hated me. Because hed had been telling everyone that he flew F-4s in the Marine Corps. Even kept his squadron coffee cup on his desk, with the shiny NFO wings on it. I had to laugh at him cuz he and I both knew that those wings stand for NON FLYING OFFICER. I used to wear my leather flight jacket to class with the real wings on it just to irk him. ROFLMAO

 

[Prof. ATP]

...wrote the algorithms for GPS......

One of the key GPS algorithms (spread spectrum) was invented by the actress Hedy Lamar during WWII. Unfortunately, her patent ran out before GPS was imlemented, so her estate never got any benefit.

True story.

 

[pilotyip]

Grst Guys NFO's

NFO= Naval Flight Officer, he was a flying officer, but not in the pilot's seat. NFO's often had mission controll authority, and could direct the employment of the weapon system, except for safey of flight issues. I worked with many very cool NFO's.

 

[con-pilot]

But you never really know, I could not believe the one about Vietnam where one fighter nudged up under his wing man that had taken massive damage and pushed him out to sea for a safe ejection.

I will try to look up this case, however, I far as I know it is true.

It was in Viet Nam and it was two Air Force F-4s. The damaged (or fuel less) F-4 dropped his hook (yes, the Air Force version also had an arresting hook) and the other F-4 pilot placed his radome between the bottom of the fusulage and hook and pushed the other F-4 either to safe territory, a re-fueler or a US Air Base (I can't remember which).

I really can't remember all the details. The 'pushing' F-4 did a lot of damage to the radome.

Okay, I found it, and I did get some details wrong.




Pardo's Push
It was March 10, 1967, in enemy skies over Hanoi. The last of 44 F-4 aircraft
were just coming off a bombing raid into North Vietnam when Capt. Bob Pardo and
his wingman Capt. Earl Aman were both hit by enemy fire. Aman's aircraft was the
worse off. Hit by two damaging blows to the fuel tank, he suddenly was down to
2,000 pounds of fuel instead of the 7,000 pounds he needed to safely return to
the refueling tanker.

Pardo knew he had to do something quickly if Aman was going to make it out.
First, he tried to use Aman's drag chute to help the wounded Phantom. With the
drag chute extended, Pardo tried to maneuver behind Aman's aircraft so he could
use the drag chute compartment to push the aircraft toward the tanker. No good.
Turbulence was too great.

Pardo decided to try to use the tailhook on Aman's aircraft. He moved in under
Aman's aircraft and got the tailhook against the windscreen of his F-4 Phantom.
Success. By this time, Aman's aircraft was so low on fuel that Pardo told him to
shut down the engines. Pardo's push was working, but the two aircraft had to
stay directly in line with one another. Pardo would push for 15 to 20 seconds,
lose the necessary balance and slide off to the side. Then he'd have to
reposition and push again. By now the pressure of Aman's F-4 aircraft was
cracking the windscreen of Pardo's fighter. As the spider web of cracks grew,
Pardo became increasingly concerned. He moved the hook down the windscreen into
a small metal area below. The hook stayed put, and the push continued. To keep
his own damaged Phantom flying, Pardo shut down one engine for the last 10
minutes of the flight.

After pushing Aman's aircraft almost 88 miles, the two damaged Phantoms reached
friendly air space. At 6,000 feet, with practically no fuel left, the two pilots
and their weapons systems officers parachuted to safety.
"That was one hell of an airplane," retired U.S. Air Force Lt. Col. Bob Pardo


There is a painting of this incident in the Air Force Museum.

 

[tracearabians]

Well the most interesting thing in this thread is your avatar!!!! WOW!!!:nuts: :beer:

When I was a new hire at Atlantic Coast I was going through systems on the D-328 and the instructor f-in hated me. Because hed had been telling everyone that he flew F-4s in the Marine Corps. Even kept his squadron coffee cup on his desk, with the shiny NFO wings on it. I had to laugh at him cuz he and I both knew that those wings stand for NON FLYING OFFICER. I used to wear my leather flight jacket to class with the real wings on it just to irk him. ROFLMAO

 

[Gatorman]

Uh, Gator...

Assuming your plausibilities, how the devil would someone get up into that cockpit without a ladder? F4's were still in service with the Navy when I was in, and they always had an external ladder they'd hang on the side of the fuselage for crew ingress/egress. I guess the shot-down wingman may have happened upon one in a rice paddy after parachuting down, then asked this guy to shut down one engine so he wouldn't be sucked in the intake.

Does anyone know if the F4 could re-start one engine on the ground without a GPU cart? Too much BS for my BS detector I'm afraid, but I appreciate you checking with your Marine buddies about it. Maybe they'll get a laugh out of it like I did. Cheers! :beer:

Ok, I got it. There is no way they could have started the engine without a GPU. It does not have the capability to cross-over bleedair start. I did hear that the Air Force version later had an APU installed.

 

[Fblowjets]

Bottom line, who would lie about being a military pilot, I have seen several of those who could not fly a simple ILS. Would not brag on that.

 

[Archie Bunker]

When I was a new hire at Atlantic Coast I was going through systems on the D-328 and the instructor f-in hated me. Because hed had been telling everyone that he flew F-4s in the Marine Corps. Even kept his squadron coffee cup on his desk, with the shiny NFO wings on it. I had to laugh at him cuz he and I both knew that those wings stand for NON FLYING OFFICER. I used to wear my leather flight jacket to class with the real wings on it just to irk him. ROFLMAO

Wind,

Just curious here......you flew Cobras and F-16s? How did you pull that off? Honest question...not a flame.

 

[inthewind]

Wind,

Just curious here......you flew Cobras and F-16s? How did you pull that off? Honest question...not a flame.

In the fleet I flew Cobras but as a Natops and Out-of controlled flight Stan guy at Whiting I got 2 one hour rides where I got all the stick time in f-16s. Pretty cool but the aerobatics in the turbo weenie were much more fun and the snake was 100 times harder to fly.

 

[inthewind]

Well the most interesting thing in this thread is your avatar!!!! WOW!!!:nuts: :beer:

​

She's a no kidding lingerie model for a very famous company!

 

[inthewind]

NFO= Naval Flight Officer, he was a flying officer, but not in the pilot's seat. NFO's often had mission controll authority, and could direct the employment of the weapon system, except for safey of flight issues. I worked with many very cool NFO's.

Me too but this guy was passing himself off as a Marine F-4 pilot. He hated that I could call him on the BS

 

[CorpLearDriver]

I will try to look up this case, however, I far as I know it is true.


Pardo's Push
.

You found the story. A copy of the picture is on the wall at FlightSafety in Tucson signed by Pardo. Someone told me he was there for recurrent in the Lear and had a FSI instructor/co-pilot in the sim when he performed a roll on the ILS with no deviation from the localizer or glideslope just to prove to them it could be done. Don't know anything else about the guy except he was a sharp stick and rudder pilot.

 

[AerroMatt]

Ok, I got it. There is no way they could have started the engine without a GPU. It does not have the capability to cross-over bleedair start. I did hear that the Air Force version later had an APU installed.

Many thanks, Gatorman. I appreciate it! :beer:

 

[pilotyip]

Fblowjet, I was a military pilot, I flew in the active Navy for 11 years, The first time I ever shot an ILS was when I got out of the active Navy and got my ATP. It was passable, I have had to convert ILS indications to PAR call outs in my head to pull it off. We did not have ILS's in our airplanes, all precision apporaches were PARS'. Would like to see some first time PAR's civy pilots to compare to your military pilots having trouble with ILS's

 

[AerroMatt]

I think the best bust I ever heard was during and airline interview. The applicant had a lot of DHC-6 Twin Otter time in his logbook. So one of the interviewers asked him to describe the emergency gear extension system on the Twotter and this guy went into elaberate detail about the emergency blow-down system and all. They thanked him for his time and told him they'd get back to him. As he walked out into the lobby, another applicant asked him what some of the technical questions were. He told him about the Twin Otter question and the other applicant asked him incredulously what he answered. The guy once again explained, in front of a number of other pilots and was told the Twin Otter has fixed gear. I would have loved to see the look on his face.

I think this falls under the category of "If you can't dazzle em with brilliance, baffle em with Bull$hit". I'm sure they were baffled, but more likely by the applicant's idiocy to think he could pull the wool over their eyes. Too friggin' funny!!! :nuts:

 

[con-pilot]

Would like to see some first time PAR's civy pilots to compare to your military pilots having trouble with ILS's

I'm all civilian, however, I did learn how to fly (up to my commercial, father was an Air Force pilot) at Air Force flying clubs, so I did have a little understanding about PARs.

But it wasn't until I was flying 727s, 20 years later, before I started doing PARs for real. The best PAR controllers were at Navy Miriam (sp?) for jet aircraft.

I have to admit it was a little hard to get use to again, but after a while it was pretty routine, as long as you had a good controller.

 

[JimNtexas]

Ok, I got it. There is no way they could have started the engine without a GPU. It does not have the capability to cross-over bleedair start. I did hear that the Air Force version later had an APU installed.

I hesitate to speak since I was a mere "non flying officer" in the back of Air Force F-4s for about 1000 hours. I don't think there ever was an F-4 with an APU, it is very hard to imagine where one might be installed. And it is true that there was no cross over bleed like the T-38 had .

What we could do is start both engines with start carts, which are just huge shotgun shell looking things that when fired turned the motors with their explosive discharge.

Of course as a mere "non-flying officer" I may have all this wrong.

 

[JimNtexas]

In the fleet I flew Cobras but as a Natops and Out-of controlled flight Stan guy at Whiting I got 2 one hour rides where I got all the stick time in f-16s. Pretty cool but the aerobatics in the turbo weenie were much more fun and the snake was 100 times harder to fly.

I have 2 hours in the front seat of an AH-1S, courtesy of my brother who was a pilot at Fort Hood at the time. I also have on my Air Force flying time printout an F-16 ride, about 12 hours in T-38s (Fighter leadin and Aggressor rides), and about 12 hours KC-135 time logged when I was the airborne SOF for a deployment.

I've of course never listed that time in my profile since I wasn't really a crewmember in any real sense of the word on those airplanes.

Question: If I add AH-1S, F-16, T-38, and KC-135 time to my profile, would that make me a poser?

 

[coloneldan]

Yanno... I had read about this one as being a Korean War story. Was reported as being true. Just can't remember the names, although I think I remember that it was F86 aircraft.

Both stories are true. Con-pilot tells about Pardo's Push, but it also happened in Korea with F-86's. I read the story several years ago as well. The damaged airplane shut down and the guy pushing stuck his nose in the damaged airplane's tailpipe. He pushed the damaged airplane all the way to the coast where the pilot ejected. As I recall, the pilot who ejected died before he was rescued. I don't recall if his parachute failed, or if it was hypothermia.

Also, the story about the SPAD landing in Viet Nam was about the second or third time someone had done that. It was done at least once during WWII by a Mustang pilot. One of his buddies was shot down over occupied Europe. He landed and picked the guy up then flew back to England.

Unfortunately, I don't have exact references for either the F-86 trick or the P-51.

 

[coloneldan]

I once knew a guy who did actually fly for American Eagle. He came home on vacation and was bragging to all the guys around airport that he flew for "American." When they asked what he was flying he said, "737's."

I once told a gal that I was one of the test pilots on the Space Shuttle Program. She believed me until I told her that we did most of the testing on a grass runway just outside of town. (North East Missississippi)

In a previous life, I was a fighter pilot in Europe during World War Two. I'm the guy who shot down the Red Baron. I'll never forget it....There I was in my SR-71. I was diving out of the sun on him. I was really going fast, way over the red line. I must have been doing over 200 mph, I really don't know because the speedometer didn't go that high......

 

[Say Again Over]

In the fleet I flew Cobras but as a Natops and Out-of controlled flight Stan guy at Whiting I got 2 one hour rides where I got all the stick time in f-16s. Pretty cool but the aerobatics in the turbo weenie were much more fun and the snake was 100 times harder to fly.

No comment.

 

[Say Again Over]

con-pilot

Get it right, Naval Air Station Miramar (remember Top Gun?) NKX.

 

[Goose Egg]

Would like to see some first time PAR's civy pilots to compare to your military pilots having trouble with ILS's

I've done a PAR. It wasn't pretty. But then again, niether are my ILSs.

-Goose

 

[Bluestreak]

I had to check out a new guy in our Navajo years ago.He was all "I'm retired Air Force" military this and that,but couldn't fly worth crap.During this trip,I inquired about his experience-turns out he was a forward air controller-not a pilot.In fact,he wanted to dance around the question "Were you a pilot in the Air Force ?" No,he obviously was not.He said on long missions he got to sit in the right seat and quote "So I logged the time ".He ended up going elsewhere and had an incident (no surprise-fortunately no injuries).Check out this guy who stuffed the company King Air in Alabama:

http://www.ntsb.gov/ntsb/brief2.asp?ev_id=20001204X00006&ntsbno=ATL99FA044&akey=1

 

[pilotpat]

Get it right, Naval Air Station Miramar (remember Top Gun?) NKX.

LOL...you busted the guy and he posted that like 8 months ago! :laugh: Now, the thread begins again. Absolutely awesome!

I've yet to meet one of these bozo bogus pilots, however I did meet a guy who was "new" to our group of friends. He's spouting off about how he was a former Special Forces guy in Gulf War I and how he'd done all this covert stuff. Everyone is really listening to his "story" when I ask, "Cool, dude. Like what kind of gun did you carry"? He goes on to say he handled so many different weapons that they blended, so I asked did you carry an M-16? They're pretty bad a$$. He says that was one of his main weapons, blah blah blah. So, I stop smiling and ask, "What size round does that thing hold, anyway"? Absolutely, completely stumped the guy. He's scrambling, uh, duh, ummm...you know I fought with so many kinds of guns... He was a little shocked when I told him that I was in the service for only 4 months before I got a medical discharge, and that was over 15 years ago...the round is a .223. What about the MP-5? Did you carry a side arm? Which one...'cuz if you don't know.... Needless to say, my buddies sort of blacklisted him from bar nights. If he's gonna lie about stupid crap like that, what's he gonna be like on the golf course? Yeah, I'm puttin' for birdie...:uzi:

 

[Dr Pokenhiemer]

When I was stationed in Hawaii as a UH-60 crewchief, one of our other crewchiefs would put on a white shirt with shoulderboards and leave the barracks early on Saturday morning. We wouldn't see this guy all weekend. He would come to work on Monday and talk about how he had to fly some people to Maui for the weekend. We ended up going to the Honolulu Airport for something and stopped by Cherry Helicopters so he could "show me the bird he flies." I noticed that all the line guys were looking at us funny when we went through the hangar. He showed me this Hughes 500--it was locked and he said he left his keys in the logbook at the barracks. A week or so later, I stopped by Cherry Helicopters on a Saturday and asked if Clause was working. The lady didn't know who I was talking about. I described him and she said, "Oh-that's the guy that comes in here and has people take his picture in front of the aircraft then goes back and tells people they are his."
He also told me that his dad owned all the helicopters used in the TV series "Airwolf". He was a compulsive liar and I wouldn't doubt it if someone here has run across him if he stayed in aviation after the military. I was in Hawaii from '88-'92 and I think he left before I did. What a loser!